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Podcast Ep. 17: The Art of Creative Parenting with Grammy and Emmy Award-Winning Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis

In this episode

We have an amazing power couple on this episode. Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are the husband and wife duo behind the Grammy Award winning Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band. The Emmy Award-winning PBS kids show “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too,” several records and books which we'll link to in the show notes and several more awards. They are also the parents to two amazing kids. 

We met Lucky and Alisha way back after our son Max was first diagnosed. They were the real deal from the get-go: loving, honest, kind, and amazingly creative. Through MaxLove Project, we were able to get them into children's hospitals to perform for the kids and they just lit up the place.

We've stayed in touch and followed them over the years as they won award after award and branched out to write books, TV shows, and movies. In this interview, we dive deep into what it means to be creative parents and partners, how they take care of themselves so they can show up as their best selves with their kids and in their work, how their art affects their parenting, and parenting affects their art and so much more. 

Listen here

About our guest

Husband and wife team Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are a creative match made in heaven! The two front The Lucky Band (FKA Lucky Diaz and The Family Jam Band) and have garnered a number of awards and accolades for their creative project, including multiple Grammy and Emmy nominations and wins. Want to see Lucky and Alisha live once Covid exits stage left? Keep an eye out on their show calendar or follow them on Instagram.

Show notes


  • 01:23 - Stream episodes of “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too” and learn more about the show’s characters here!
  • 27:55 - “Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.” (Harvard Business Review)
  • 37:34 - Calm is an app that offers meditation audio from gurus and meditation leaders from around the world. Want to give app-led meditation a shot? The Family Thrive app offers recordings from all of our Monday Meditation and Wednesday Wind-Downs!
  • 01:07:34 - Micah Player is an artist and illustrator who teamed up with Lucky and Alisha for numerous projects, including Lucky’s upcoming children’s book, Paletero Man.
  • 01:27:57 - Get ready to dance and press play on The Lucky Band’s lated album, “Crayon Kids” (available where all music is streaming).
  • 01:32:54 - Listen to Alisha’s voice acting chops as puppet Facty and watch episodes of Pandemic Playhouse here.
  • 01:33:50 - We can’t wait for Alisha’s upcoming projects to go live! Stay tuned for news and updates on her Instagram.
  • 01:43:20 - Take a look at Applause Books for Alisha’s screenwriting-related books

Transcript highlights


02:36 

Audra: So where are we talking to you from, where are you? Where in the world?

Alisha: Well, right now, we actually just got back from Los Angeles, we’re in our home in the midwest, in Columbus, Indiana.

Audra: Oh, awesome.


04:25 

Audra: So five years ago, you thought, “Let's get a place outside of L.A. and let's be closer to family and just kind of spread out a little bit.”

Alisha: Yeah. Five years ago was like when we had our daughter and she was born in Los Angeles and her name is Indiana. And that was when we found out about her congenital hole in her heart. And I kind of had a panic attack, like just was, you know, freaking out and thought, I can't do this by myself. I want to be closer to family. It was. 

And so we thought we were going to move here full time. And then I've never lived here my life. I wasn't raised here. My parents moved here when I was living in New York. So I don't come back as like knowing people. But so then we came here in the winter and bought this house that wasn't restored at the time. And we were like, what are we doing here? This isn't this is worse than I had imagined. 

So then our goal was to get back to LA but keep this house. And we've juggled it and then we renovated it. And then we also have a rental space that when our back, Lucky totally renovated the garage into being a beautiful studio and in-law suite. So when we're not here, we can rent that out. We like tried to create ways to make it work for our family. So that way now we kind of get best of both worlds.


07:15 

Lucky: I think we have equality in our relationship that speaks to extending that to our daughter, I guess. And I think that's I guess our location jumping speaks to that, because, you know, I really feel that it's important to honor both of our heritages in our kids. And so there's a real culture that Alisha comes from that I think is very important. And there's a culture that I come from, so we're both very...

Alisha: And they don't exist in the same place. 

Lucky: They don't exist in this house.

Audra: I feel that.

Justin: I love this. And I'm sensing that to the home in Indiana and the home in Los Angeles is really the manifestation of a theme in your lives and in your work. That is, there's is this like entertainment, you know, artistic side. See, that is the LA. And then it's like about kids and about family and about, you know, like home. And so you have the Indiana part and the. Yeah, it seems perfect for you.


17:27 

Audra: Sorry. I'm just so curious about the bubble and all of that. And before we get into Justin's questions, which are awesome, And your background and how you met and all these great things. I do want to just check in on Indiana. You mentioned that she has a congenital heart, a hole in her heart. It's a congenital effect, if you will. What, how’s she doing?

Alisha: Thanks for asking, and she's doing great, I mean, great as a like, you know, hitting all the physical markers that she should. You know, it was interesting. She just entered kindergarten. And I mean, talk about the anxiety and the stress.

Audra: Oh, yeah. 

Alisha: I mean, we just didn't know what to do. So we ended up putting her in a small Montessori school, because at the moment it's Covid guidelines.

Audra: Yes. 

Alisha: Yeah. Literally I was like...

Lucky: And they had the smallest population.

Alisha: The smallest population, wonderful, wonderful teachers. 

Lucky: It has a lot of things going for it. 

Alisha: It’s outside. Like, it was like checking the most boxes.

Lucky: I mean, I'm a product of that as a young child.

Alisha: My parents are public school teachers. So it took a lot. My mom was a public school kindergarten teacher for 35 years. 

Audra: Wow. 

Alisha: Yeah, amazing. And my friends are all kindergarten teachers. Like literally they're all teachers in the public school. So anywho I digress. 

But part of it was before we went, that was before we came here. We had to go to her biannual cardiology appointment. And she was supposed to have heart surgery before entering kindergarten. And so it was just like I mean, my tendency when we go to intense doctor's appointments is I start blacking out and like I can't process information. So we've come up with and it was only one person at a time can go into these big things because of Covid. And usually he like, I deal with her and he kind of processes what's being told to us. And this time he couldn't come in. 

So I had to FaceTime the doctor and be like, here, talk just to my husband while I look at all the heart monitors in the dark room. And previously, she had they had there was like a flap of skin that looked like it was kind of like just, kind of flapping over the hole. And it wasn't there this time, which was a huge let down. And there's nothing you can do about that. 

But at the same time, he was like, let's hold off on the heart surgery because she's doing fine. She can literally live with this up until a certain point, and then she may experience all these horrible things. But if she's not at this moment, then it's ok. And she's very aware of her condition. She knows, mask-wearing has been trickier because she has a problem processing oxygen so she can't get enough. It's like her heart works double to get the oxygen. 

Audra: Right. 

Alisha: So it's like intense mask wearers and he hears a lot. And we have her wear a mask outside. So it's a lot when she goes to school and it was 106 and she has a mask on. And so it’s a lot to process. But she knows, she knows what to do. She knows to like hopefully. 

So that's you know, as a mom and dad, I can't speak for you, but I will. But as like a dad, parents letting her off and to not being able to be like, take your mask off, go to the side, take your drink of water, breathe, because she gets, you know. So you have to kind of prep the teachers. And her teachers have been amazing. But she's doing well, like psychologically, she's doing super well physically. I mean, we couldn't ask for more, really. 


24:07 

Justin: All right, so between you both, you have produced over a dozen records, a television show, several books, have won multiple Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards, a Parent's Choice Gold Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, a National Parenting Product Award. And I just want to like, you guys are a big deal. So am I missing anything?

Audra: And the Grammy is also Latin Grammy, right? Like, many, I feel like it was this was more than once. 

Justin: I said awards, plural. 

Audra: This is an incredible list, you two. What did we miss?

Justin: Well, oh, you know, what's coming up for me right away is I have heard that for artists, performers who, you know, achieve the awards, you know, they get this recognition that they can still have a sense of like, “Oh, my God, what's the next thing?” And so is this for you? Like, do you experience that?

Lucky: I just talked about this this morning. That’s our morning conversation.

Alisha: Every morning we're like, we're doing this like…

Justin: Oh, my gosh, that's what I've heard. And so you like you get the awards, like you get the gold star.

Audra: You're some of the most accomplished human beings on this earth. 

Justin: Like you're doing great and then, you know, you wake up the next day and like, ok, what's the next thing?

Audra: It’s not enough.

Alisha: Yeah. I mean… Yes.

Lucky: It's very hard but what you said is 100 percent.

Alisha: And it's hard when you put out things and then they're done, you know, and it's hard to know what the next goal is. And it's you know, it sounds like, wahhh wahhh. But it's like when you accomplish these huge things that you wanted. We're both trying to be like, what is it now that we really do actually? 

What do we want to do, in like our souls and hearts, coupled with like the doubt and the fear and the self-loathing that is in our heads as artists. And we both share that. So it's like thankfully often it's not at the same time. So, yeah.

Justin: So you take turns. Oh, yes. 

Audra: You coach each other. 

Lucky: I think that it's overwhelming. That feeling is overwhelming and creating things. And then sometimes you just don't. I think we all get, me personally. I could only speak for myself in the sense that the reason I make things is because I've always thought it was just so much fun. I've always found so much fulfillment out of creating things. And I feel that it's part of one of life's gifts to be able to have an ability just to create stuff. 

And for a long time, I just thought everybody created things instantly. And I think I was like a teenager or something and, or maybe in college. And I was talking to someone about even writing a song or, you know, if you asked me to write a song about like Mayo and tomato, like, yeah, sure I can do that. I can literally do that. Right. And I was talking to this person and they were like, “Oh, like I could never, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to start with that.” Right. And then it occurred to me that not everyone is like everyone has special abilities, but not everyone has the same ability. And then those abilities are then like in different levels of like depending on how much effort you give them either. 

But I thought like it's a benefit and a detriment to want and have this, right, because like, you know, in your heart, you want to keep making things. And then it's so sometimes such a struggle to make things. And then when you get like this, these huge validations that are like, you're so great at making them, and then you're like, oh, but I'm a fraud because that stuff isn't as good as you think it is. And so like every day, it's like it's a real struggle, I think that sees it...

Alisha: And we're different in that way. He has a very much like we talk about like imposter syndrome.

Audra: Oh, that's what I was just thinking, like creative imposter syndrome or whatever. 

Alisha: Mine's more of like a perfectionist tendency and wanting to just like produce more, better, faster, in a more profound way. Like, hey, you're...

Lucky: Yeah, you're really. Yeah, that's...

Alisha: Like, you like to produce things and then doubt it immediately or like get an award and it's like not good enough. And I'm like, ok, I got this. I have to do better. Very like, I have to make another goal, like quickly. 

Audra: I identify with you, Alisha, for sure. And I think Justin's more on the side of the nagging imposter syndrome, like checking out your work.

Justin:  Actually, I feel like what you both said, like I feel like the above. I feel very doubtful and like an imposter. And I need to produce a bunch more. And I know...

Lucky: Yeah, well, yeah. And you always and you're always like thinking, wow, I have to like, make more. And I think I could work breakfast today. Usually on weekends we do like a brunch, right? We'll do like a family brunch. We all sit down and we have it. That's not to say we don't do it during the week now, but...

Alisha: We usually go to the farmer's market on Saturday, buy all fresh things, and then Lucky and Indiana make a big breakfast.

Audra: Ohhh. Great. 

Lucky: … I am having a dialogue with myself about like, well, maybe I just need to stop making things, maybe just for a second to get myself permission to just break. And I think that a good lesson for creatives that I'm only learning myself is that just because you feel like you achieved this one thing and then like it's done like you're so set, you're going to wake up every day and you're like, well…

Alisha: The world’s gonna be different. 

Lucky: Just like I did this thing and everyone thought it was cool and everything's great. And I know like and I literally told Alisha two days ago, like, “Am I like any good at this? Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.” Like that's a real conversation we're having on the porch as we're sitting, watching, like people walk their dog. 

Alisha: I’m like “You ask me this every day.” That was my answer. He asked me every day, like. Yes, you’re amazing.

Lucky: Yeah. And I mean, I think there's like aspects of like, you know, I'm like, “Oh, well, maybe my studio needs this thing, this microphone or this amplifier, this thing to really make me better, right? Or maybe I'm going to find inspiration in that.” And sometimes, most often I do. I find a little bit of, like a little salt and that'll be like, oh, this little flavor there.

Alisha: That’s important though.

Lucky: And that ignites it, right? Because the gear or the guitars or the stuff for me isn't about the stuff or accumulating it. It's about the inspiration that it brings in the story that it also brings with it, right? Like, who owned this? Like what did they make with this thing? Is it going to give me the permission to make something now? Right. And I think that like but also that's a slippery, dangerous slope, because then you find yourself with like, well, I have this stuff and I still haven't created anything like…

Alisha: Well, that's because you've made something internal external. Right? So like what Lucky’s describing is taking his anxiety and self-doubt manifestations, putting it looking for outward change and not dealing with the voice in his head.

Audra: Oh, that’s powerful…

Justin: Ok, now… I was going to talk about this stuff or find a way to talk about later on, but like this is. Yeah. So this feels like there's a lot of room here for doing some serious inner work. And one thing that I've learned as a parent is that the more inner work that I do, therapy, different... 

Audra: Emotional processing. 

Justin: Yeah. Processing practices and relationship skills and all the stuff, the more work I do on this, the more I can show up for my partner, for my kids. And, but then for you, there's this added thing of like the more you show up in your creativity, in your work. And so I'm curious, like what sort of. I'm not sure exactly the right word to use here. Modalities, therapies, self-work.

Audra: Is there anything that works for you? Was there anything that helps? 

Justin: Yeah. 

Alisha: Oh, my gosh, you all. I have tried everything during this pandemic because I think some of our ways of dealing with things were intake, which were new experience, travel, those kind of things that then we can internalize. But when you're taken, when you're quarantined in a pandemic, you have to take a real good look at yourself and your partner, like what you're saying. And looking about, I have always been big proponents of therapy, and it's been very hard to get a new therapist in this climate. Therapists are booked to the closet.

Audra: Oh, yeah...

Alisha: All my friends who are therapists, all my friends were trying to go to therapists. I mean, everyone is booked. I personally, a big proponent, we both are of journaling every day. We talk a lot. I do a meditation almost every day. I have like, I'm talking crystal, tarot.

Justin: Oh, love it.

Alisha: Breathing workshops. Anything that you can do to center yourself or stoppings. I'm talking like tea at night, wine at night. 

Justin: Wine in the morning.


36:49 

Justin: You're the one who is going to look for different therapeutic approaches. So you mentioned all these different things. So I just have a curiosity. What right now is like really working for you or like what right now seems to be really important?

Alisha: Well, it's 140. Ok, this is like 140. Today's the day I got to sleep in. This morning, I woke up last night. I set my crystals out. This is like last night I set my crystals out for some moonlight energy. I lit candles for release and gratefulness, meditated before I went to bed to “Let's Heal the Shit” by Emily Churchhill. A free thing to do. Then I listen to more, another meditation on Calm and read a mindful magazine with a cup of tea. I woke up this morning. I journaled in bed while cuddling my daughter and dog, and he brought coffee. I then did a tarot card and got up and listened to the music. We listened to Django Reinhardt and danced a little bit. This was like before, like those are the things I do with it in like every like, that's just like a snippet. 

So when I say I'm desperately searching for ways to quell my anxiety because I get not just panic attacks, full-on panic, panic attacks isn’t the right word, anxiety attacks. What's the one that's worse, where you have like total mental breakdowns and like can't breathe?

Audra: Panic attack.

Alisha: Hyperventilating… 

Justin: Yeah, I think so. Panic attacks for sure.

Lucky: That only happens very suddenly though.

Alisha: Yeah, exactly. Like the anxiety and like crying. Like very cathartic. Like I try to let myself feel all this great, you know, because, you know, we cry, cry and journal it. And then, but I have to, I have to stay on top of my anxiety, especially in these times, because I think one of my strengths is controlling things. Lists making, control like I control our, like I'm very organized and very…

Lucky: Yeah, Alisha does all our finances, all, anything that requires smart brains. There's an art.

Alisha: Well, it's an odd thing because I'm a creative, but with a real organized…

Justin: Well, that's the Midwestern part of you right?

Alisha: Yeah, I think so. But in order because there's so many variables right now that I can't change, like yesterday we had this trip planned, that was the redo for my birthday party because of Covid. And now we're not going to take this trip because it's going to be another Covid birthday. And that's these small things that are adding up, that feel like they're breaking me. Like they're like I just feel a heaviness. So I have to be proactive so that I can be, like you said Justin, a present mindful parent.

Lucky: But I think, just from observing Alisha, though, I have to say that I think the number one thing that Alisha does in order for me to, I think as a therapeutic device is talking. Alisha, loves…
Audra: It's so good. 

Justin: It's therapeutic. Yes, it's as you said before, it is bringing what's inside outside. Your processing…

Lucky: And she's so good at it.

Alisha: With our daughter, I process.

Lucky: Processing. That's it, Justin. That's it. That's number one. Right. So it's kind of like, you know, oh, I like I, I like...

Alisha: I reach out to community and process there. I have an amazing support group and other moms and different this mom group. I'm in the pile and they're amazing. And then, but processing with Lucky and processing with our daughter.

Lucky: It's a lot of talking.

Alisha: It’s a lot of talking. 

Lucky: Our eldest daughter is like, I don't... 

Alisha: When she was little. She was like...

Lucky: She was like, I don't want to talk about anything else. And I mean, I think that it's important, though, because, you know, Alisha is really good at identifying like problems, like let's say like, you know, I burn something and I'm like, you know, freak out in the kitchen like, “Oh, man, that was expensive cheese.” And, you know, it's all like, you know what I mean?

Alisha: My new phrase to him is, I say, “Is that a proper emotional response? Let's just take a pause.”

Lucky: You know, it’s not about burning the cheese. It's not about the way you know, that's…

Justin: Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, because the proper emotional, like my response would be like, well, it's my emotional response and it's my emotional truth. Alright, let me stress out about it. But your deeper question is right. Like this isn't about the cheese Lucky. Like, what is this really about? Yeah. Right.

Alisha: Right. So if you said like this is my response, like I would be like, that's valid like that. That is valid that you're having that anger.

Lucky: And unfortunately, I have a lot of like maybe my old man in me that's more like old school, like, you know, you know, rub some dirt on it, you know what I mean? Kind of vibe.

Justin: Well, that's what happens. So that's what I've learned, because practically every boy, at least in America, is raised to repress, you know, like stop the crying. Keep it out. Control, control, control. Yeah. And so I this I don't remember who said this, but yeah, what is not expressed gets repressed. And I feel like that's exactly like men now. They grow up in their like they've repressed all this stuff for their whole life. And then it comes out in explosions. It's like, why did dad just lose his shit like that?


47:55 

Audra: It sounds like to me you both are incredibly self-aware and incredibly open with each other. I'm really just taking it all in. I think it's beautiful. Yeah, it's just really, really beautiful. 

How open you are and how does this translate your processing of your childhoods, of that expression, of for Lucky for you, your inner child maybe getting to express himself in a way that he never could as a child. Right. How your Midwest upbringing in these very pragmatic ways, but then your, for Alisha going to LA and being able to express yourself as an artist and then digging into your inner work and digging in to support yourself. All of the realizations you had around all of this, how has that affected you both as parents? And you have an age spread, too. So I'd love to hear like affected you as parents, like with kids at very different ages.

Alisha: Wow, that’s a lot of thoughts.

Lucky: I think at the end of the day, like for Alisha and I both like, you know, I think we want to lead as examples for our kids to know that being who they are is what's most important, truly. Right. So. And I joke about this, and I just heard this a million times, but, you know, if our daughter wants to be, or any of our girls, if they want to be an electrician, well, then and they love electricity and they love being electrician. I want them to be the like the most passionate electrician ever did ever to live. 

Whatever their passions are. That's really what I want for them. I feel like that's what we as parents are able to provide. Giving them the awareness and permission to just be themselves. Right. And I think that there's always this very linear kind of path and, you know, North American like parenting and success or whatever that looks like. You know, it's like, oh, you're going to go to college and you're going to do this and you're going to get a good job. 

Audra: And then and then. Right.

Lucky: But the problem with that is we all know is that it's a never-ending cycle. And then people find themselves like around our age or my age and being like, what did I do with my whole life? You know, like what, right?

Audra: Trying to find themselves. Right.

Lucky: So I think it's like for us and for me, I think like trying to just set an example of being like, hey, you can create whatever life you want, just as long as you're finding joy and hopefully providing joy for other people or your community, that I think it's a win. Right? It's a success, you know, and finding whatever it is that they're great at or impassioned about, that's the path I think that, I think in this lesson. 

You know, Alisha and I have faced many obstacles and I've had many opportunities, but I also feel that there is a certain kind of courage that we both have, like had to give to one another and to each have within ourselves to do it. So like, you know, there's been many times where I'm like, “I can't go on.” Alisha's like, “you got to keep going.” And then Alisha’s like, “I can't go on.” I'm like, “you got to keep going.” 

And it's like because at the end of day, you know, like I always used this idea, like, you know, I always wanted to go to Tokyo. Right. And so Alisha and I were like, I don't remember what year it was, but we were living in those fields in Los Angeles. And I was, you know, still she had just kind of started going back to her other family's house to spend some time. And I remember waking up one day thinking like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Tokyo and I was, I've been waiting for an opportunity for like life to be like, hey, you're going to go to Japan. Right. 

And it just hadn't showed up yet. I'm like, how much room I got on this credit card. I was just thinking, literally, I was like, how much room I got on that. Ok, cool. I'm going to go on Delta.com. What if I had tickets to go and I'm going to try to figure out like when we can go for how long. Because my thought, like you're never going to remember the money it didn't have. But I can tell you what it felt like to see Japan, just the coast of Japan as you're flying into Japan. And what we had for dinner that very first night, I can oh, I can tell you that I think that that's how I want to live life. And just even having this conversation reminds me. Yes, yes, yes. Keep going down this route because you're not going to, because you know who's going to remember. And I can't tell you how much money we didn't have. I can't tell you any of those things. But I can tell you that it was something that was so meaningful. 

And I know it's, I'm not trying to be hedonistic. And I know that you both can speak to this in ways that I can't imagine where it's like this is this. It is this. This is the moment. Right. So let's make something happen. And if you don't, then you may regret it. Just do this, right? Just honor it. Honor this moment. Honor this relationship. Honor this family. Honor this existence. Because, you know, so often in the last, like especially the last 20 months, we've lost a lot of friends. Like lost. They're gone now. And so it's kind of like this is all we got right now, that I can speak to. But if you can lead by example for our own kids anyways, I think that that's the best thing to do, and our daughters have really benefited from that kind of thought.

Audra: It sounds like I mean, it sounds like a real powerful perspective on, to me, an abundance mindset and not taking things for granted in life like. Really, really focusing on trying to be present and treasuring our time together and treasuring our relationships and our family like some of the most powerful things that we can do together with our time on this earth. Right.


55:56 

Alisha: So I'm trying to learn as a parent that my way isn't the way for her, which we you know, I was younger when I was parenting Ella, and coming in as a step-parent. So I didn't get the chance to fully use all the tactics I had and am able to now. But I think like with Indiana, you know, it's just an interesting, it's interesting when you notice your kids are different than you and they're teaching you and you're trying to gather with passion, with grace.

Audra: That's a powerful observation. And I think something that is amazing that you're honoring in your children and so beautiful. Like that's something that has been a real revelation to me as well. 

And I look at my kids instead of as mini me’s, which is kind of how I thought I was going to think when we had kids, you know, like there are going to be like some, you know, equation of us. Right. And then to see you are your own human being, like this is mind-blowing. Right. And so beautiful. And it's for me to work on kind of myself and my reactions and my issues and the things that I bring to this so that I can support you in being you.

Alisha: Yes. And speaking to that, it's like, you know, some of the things we were taught as kids that what are, what we're bringing into it that we think is right. One of the things that I try to do a lot is I'll start I'll start saying something like she'll be doing something, say, jumping on our couch. And I was absolutely not allowed to jump on a couch. And I and this was maybe last year I started to say, “stop jumping on the couch.” And then I'm like, wait, do I actually feel that way? Do I? Pause. Pause. Why am I telling her to stop?

Lucky: Only you can do this. I mean, it's amazing.

Audra: Getting curious about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. In the moment, creating the truth of what our familial dynamic is. Like, I know she's not going to go to somebody else's house and jump on a couch. I know she can go to the Louvre and not touch a statue or run. I know. I know who my child is. So she wants to jump on a couch and not knock something down, like what? Like, I don't. It's ok.And I bring that up is like a micro thing to a macro situation of who we are and also being open to evolving to what we really want to be in our relationships. Right. Like learning from each other. So I'm trying. I have no idea.

Justin: So I've heard a lot of or what I'm hearing is how your art and your work has affected your parenting and the lessons that you're taking into parenting. And I'm wondering if there's anything moving the other way of like parenting affecting art. And what has that been like?

Lucky: I mean, I think that it's a profound experience to be a parent, because I always think that you get optics from your children that you didn't have before. 

You know, and I remember like Indiana being small and just looking, she's like look at, look at the, we were on a walk just her and I and she's like, look at the trees, look at and she has this like what kind of magic she has this magic that Alisha has, that she's able to see things in different ways. And not that I don't just see a tree, but she's looking up. And I thought to myself, we'd been on this walk, you know, a dozen times or something, right, in that month and I had not even looked up. And I nodded and taken the opportunity to actually see what was happening from our own perspective. And I was like, whoa, this is really cool. Wow. This is really beautiful. 

This is the way she sees the world. I didn't see that. And I think it's been a huge gift for me to be able to see things through her optics, through her eyes, literally and figuratively, because she's also she comes up with like all these amazing ideas and all that similar things. And it's kind of like, whoa, like I never really thought about that. But it opens up these opportunities. 

And Alisha is a little, she's better at being there for that, being present anyways. And so, like my daily struggle is being more aware and present in that but it also gives me the ability of the show. I had mentioned earlier just to play. I love playing. I love making up things. You know, if we even, if we were adults without any children, imagine it like, ok, for the next 10 minutes, you're going to take figurines and you're going to make a dialog. Right. 

And people were like, this is insane. That's crazy. How much better would we all be if we had that opportunity just to play with figurines, right. And just be right and just have that dramatic therapy of just being like, I had a bad day at work, man, I'm going to eat your face off, you know, like, you know, just even working through that.

Audra: Oh, it's such a good point. Such a good point. That's authentic relating.


1:07:21 

Lucky: I mean, I've seen my parents maybe in that way, but I know for a fact that my girls have seen me in like ways that's like, wow, that's really who you are. And that is like that kind of gift is profound because it's like this is who I am. I think like, you know, Micah and I know you know who a player is who illustrates a lot of our projects and stuff. 

And Micah and I were always talking about as fathers, like leaving something to our kids. Right. What's the legacy that we're leaving? And I think that that's part of the game, too, for us, is just having this legacy left, right, of like honesty and bravery and and just total, just I don't know, just transparency in the sense that like I know my dad, like I know that my girls can be like I know my dad, I know who he is. And I think that that's such a rare opportunity, you know, because we're also protecting ourselves, too, right. And there's a vulnerability that… 

Alisha: I think you hit on something of like parents and talking about parenting and what we want to give to our kids, letting our kids see us be vulnerable. Like the other day, I was crying because I was like I mentioned, I had this peak of like it was all too much again, you know, sending her to for saying in Indiana. 

So she hugged me and she kind of started laughing. She was like, “Are you crying for real mama or are you...?” And I said, “no, I'm crying because I'm feeling my big feelings right now and I'm going to move through them and it'll be ok. But I'm feeling really sad right now, and that's ok.” Then it was ok. Then we played again. Right. But like, I think letting your kids see your passion, like your true passion, unbridled passion. 

Like you said, our kids see us like live in these huge ways and huge stages for a lot of people. But then they see us in our own home with that same passion that's just for them and that same vulnerability that we can share collectively. And I think that you're right, that also shapes their emotional landscape, something I hope our daughter carries forward.

 Audra: Sharing your true joys and pain, processing your emotions together, sharing in your art, your creativity, your energetic work, all of that stuff. It's so counter to how so many of us were raised, which was in a performance, a performance of parenting. What are you supposed to do as a parent? I'm supposed to do what my parents did. There's a role, right? Just a role is not who we thought about, who we really are. And I think that we are seeing parenting together. And I don’t speak for all of us. But it sounds like we're seeing parenting in a different way.

Lucky: I would agree. I think generationally it's different for sure. And I think that the conversations as like fathers, like I again, I mentioned Micah because he's a creative partner and a man that I work with and have these conversations with about what that's like being of this time and another time that didn't exist and being a product of another time and going into another time. Right. And evolving together and the evolution of what that looks like and yeah, for sure. 

And then and then trying to figure out what fathering means, what parenting means out being a man is supposed to look like to you know, and I think that like hanging up, like it's an everyday process of being like, wait, you know, ok, so what? It's like what are gender roles like? Oh, I didn't mean to be like that about it. Like, you know, I you know, I recently said and I really regret it, like, you know, I just felt really badly about it. Like we had some friends over and they have two boys. And I was like, oh, and they were like creating a ruckus or something. I'm like, oh, they're just boys, you know, they're just being boys or whatever it was. It was a passing statement because it was the energy. It was just not it was, it was not thought through. Right. 

And I felt really badly about it. But these are the kinds of events like situations and experiences that I think dads and people, men of this generation or my generation are experiencing. Right. Because it's so ingrained about like I don't have any, you know, Alisha, I don't have any gender, you know, assignments to anything. Right. Whether they're colors. And in fact, we're always fighting against gender norms. But I think I always have those conversations of being you know, that's like saying like, hey, guys, how you doing, guys?

Audra: I'm unlearning that hardcore.

Justin: I think we're all of the generation. We grew up like kids. Like “guys.” “What's up, guys?” Oh, so right. As a college instructor it's, over the past several years has been so difficult because all it just slips out. 

Lucky: It does, and that's…

Justin: Guys, can you check out this? And then. So the last year, I just made a point. I was like, I'm just going to apologize every time I do that, and I'm going to continue and I'll try to do better.

Alisha: But that's a credible evolution, like the fact that these you know, it's the unlearning. And I think that's the, I think even letting people see that we acknowledge that we are unlearning by new learning. Because I'll do the same thing is as you all, I'll be like, oh, I'm I'm really sorry. I'm going to restart like, hey, all I know that sounds stupid. I'm trying not to say this. And even like letting our children see that, too. 

Audra: Absolutely. 

Alisha: That's a big deal. Like Indiana came back from her second day of kindergarten and she was a little bit upset. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know how to address it. She said Indiana or she said, “Mama, like there's a boys bathroom and a girl's bathroom and there's not a them bathroom.” And this is something I speak to her a lot about, like she'll be well, she'll say, oh, they're that and then let's not assign them pronouns, you know, unless we know. Unless like because we have a lot of friends who are children, who are they/them and because that's the world. And for the first time, I was taken aback about what my answer should be, because I didn't expect that to be like the thing she took from kindergarten day two. Right. 

I was like, well, you know…I like she'd asked me this real hurtful thing that was valid, like I've said. And this I think I said something. I bumbled through it and I said, you know, someone, “one of your friends or you or someone needs to, comes up and it doesn't feel comfortable going into either the bathrooms. Let them know that we are safe people to talk to.” And I asked her if she went to the school requesting the gender neutral bathroom, and she was like, no, it's ok for now. I just really didn't know why they made that choice. And then she turned around. 

Audra: Were you so proud of her?



1:23:12 

Alisha: Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like we're trying consciously and subconsciously in our house. I can't speak for the world, but when we create art, we are very mindful, almost kind of too mindful. Sometimes we can't. But the outcome is positive.



1:27:28 

Justin: We don't want to use up your entire day, and so I kind of...

Audra: I know we could.

Justin: So I would love to have you back on and we could talk more about this. But as we sort of land this plane, I just want to be sure to ask. We've heard about books. You have a new, you have at least one new... Can you just give us a lay of the land? What is out right now and where can listeners find out more about you?

Lucky: We have a new album that came out June.

Alisha: I don't even know what day it is.

 Lucky: It's called Crayon Kids, and it's available where all music is streaming. 

Justin: Yes, it's fantastic. I mean, it's so great.

Alisha: It is relevant, it’s powerful. 

Justin: So I just wanted to ask about Generation C. So, I mean, the album starts. It's such an amazing song because it, I’ve listened to it now a bunch of times because it's like, how does this song make me feel so sad and happy at the same time? And so I just wanted to ask you about writing this song that feels really emotionally complex.

Lucky: It's a really great question. So basically, it's the last song that we wrote for that EP, that album. The project started out as like three songs, and then it turned into nine songs. 

My writing partner in it, Michael Farkas, who I wrote it with, and Kenny Siegel, who's the other writer on that particular song, it’s the only song on our album that has all three of us writing together. 

Because some of them I kind of write by myself, but ultimately Michael and I split the writing credit and then, you know, like I'll pass something through Alisha where she's like, “Oh, I like this, I like that there, move that there.” So she's like really involved in that process. But in that song, like Kenny had sent a text message and he's like, “Oh, you guys like I'm seeing all these songs, we need like a song.” 

He's got this like, he's like a real New York guy. “I guess I, you know, doonas. I feel it's really that song, put with the whole thing together, you know, like it’s strong.” And so he's like, “yeah, we got to write something about a Generation C. See, you know, have you heard about this?” And I was like, “I hadn't heard about it.” And I'm like, “what is this?” And he's like, you know, and so we're talking having this dialogue as dads, as fathers. And then also talking about what our kids are going through. And then I'm like talking to Alisha. Michael's talking to his wife and partner…

Alisha: Who's my best friend.

Justin: Oh, perfect. Perfect. 

Lucky: Yeah. So my writing partner is Alisha's best friends husband from college. 

Alisha: My roommate from college, who's a therapist. And our husbands now are creative writing partners.

Justin: So cool. That's awesome.

Lucky: So we are very, we have a very tight relationship, Michael and I. And I just kind of thought like, and I had written this little thing and Kenny's like this really big deal producer. He works with like Langhorne Slim and, you know, Sean Lennon and all these like really important people. And I'm like, oh. And he's like, yeah, you got to go write this thing. You call me tomorrow with a song and I'm like, Oh, my god. Can't talk right now because I want to show up. You know, I don't want to be like, okay, I don't know, Kenny. I was like, so I'm like, you know, like go in my room, like toiling away, trying to come up with something and so I got this little thing. And I said and I start kind of just we start kind of text messaging it back and forth.

Alisha: And Michael.

Lucky: And Michael, Michael and I, and Kenny is like, “this is great, you know!” So that we like kind of, and I just and it's all pulled from real life experiences, like it felt that. Yeah, you know, like the first lines that “there's a life that happened yesterday, I don't remember much, but I know that I can play outside.” Right. That's all I know about it, because our kids have such a short, at least our young children don't have a memory that's that long. 

Justin: And then like, yeah, shortly after that it was like in the song I remember like canceled birthday parties. It was like the first part was like, oh yeah.

Lucky: Right. And so like and then, you know, I just love pop music. So I think my most favorite song is like, Weezer has a new song called like All My Favorite Songs Make Me Sad. 

And so, like all my favorite songs make me sad.

Alisha: Oh god, they're the worst.

Lucky: It's like they give me the moany, groanys. I mean it's, I want to listen to like, you know, the Pixies or the Cure or something. You know, R.E.M.

Audra: Totally.

Justin: But at the same time, this song is really joyful, too. I mean, it's kind of owning this identity and then also owning all the things that, some of the joyful parts like I can still play outside, you know.

Lucky: Yeah. And I think that that's the hope in it, right. Like is just the hope that we all have to have to keep going. And I think that that's what's really represented there in the sense that I don't know how this will identify with our children. I don't know how this time will impact our kids. 

But I know it'll be a monumental time, you know. Like I didn't, wasn't alive during World War II. But I know that so many things were shaped out of the depression and people like I mean, you know what I mean? And as a kid, I was fascinated by WWII history. And so as an adult, I'm fascinated with, you know, everything that happened during the war. But I think at this time we'll have some kind of and a very disposable instant culture we live in. This will have long-lasting repercussions. So it'll remain to be seen how you know, it'll you know…

Alisha: It's interesting. A lot of, you know, Lucky’s book came out like he mentions, and there were creative projects that came out of, you know, obviously of the pandemic like that. And then for me, I voiced a puppet cartoon-type thing on PBS during this time. It's called Pandemic Playhouse.

Audra: It was so incredible.

Alisha: Yeay! So we did all that, Like we had to record, you know, in our little home studio. And there were a lot of difficulties, but it was a really great project. And now it's available on all PBS platforms. I play Facty, which is typecasting, I think; who is like obsessed with actual facts and making sure that everybody knows them.

Justin: That felt true for you.

Alisha: Yeah. I was literally like, I don't need to study this character, like that was really fun to do. I love doing voiceover work. And I, you know, we stayed very busy. 

But personally, I was able to pivot back to writing more intentionally. So my writing partner and I make sort low optioned a movie to Four Leaf Productions. It's an untitled wedding movie. It has a title, but I can't say it. So we optioned a movie and we've been through like three drafts to the producers and hopefully we’re done. And then it'll be out.

Audra: Wow. Is it a comedy?

Alisha: It is. It's a rom-com. It's really funny. I mean, it is really funny. I love it. And I've written like another sitcom and have it with another production company and two shows I wrote for Hallmark. So...

Lucky: She's so busy that like I just feel like ashamed if I'm not doing that. 

Audra: But I hear this. It's quite a list. I mean, this is quite an incredible, you know, pandemic list of things you've been working on. It sounds like you've been going back to your comedic roots.

Alisha: Yeah, I think it's like it's been an opportunity, I mean, I went to New York University, Tisch School of the Arts for acting. So I was like, I got to spend time, you know, on the Sydney Opera House and on Broadway and on television. And then when I met Lucky, like this weird thing happened with kids music. And I loved performing. And then that's why I love the television show most, I guess, in the live shows, whereas I kind of work as the producer of things, as we all know, like now that I'm crazy organized. I don't have a songwriting music background except as a singer. 

So, you know, and I've always when I met him, I was touring as a standup comic. And that's how we met. He saw me on stage at the Comedy Store and stalked me. But it worked out. But, you know, and while I was writing, you know, monologue books and acting. But now it's kind of like my writing partner, Meg and I actually met before Lucky and I met. We've been doing comedy together, live, for about 15 years. 

And it kind of, you know, you hope, I always wanted and hoped and prayed for a writing partner that like Meg and I didn't know we didn't know that we were sitting right in front of each other and something happened where an opportunity came up and someone said, does someone have a pitch for a Christmas movie for this star? The celebrity wants to pitch this movie, and here's what the movie's about. And I said, oh, I do. I had nothing. Like, I literally had nothing. That’s how I do all my, I mean, all of them. I was like, yep, I definitely do that. Like, I just, we almost sold a show to this like other network. And it, because I was like, yep, I've got that, calling all the… And so I called Meg in, because Meg is, was, has been writing. She's more. She has more. She has a lot of accolades. She's won a lot of awards. She's written a lot. She was already a screenplay writer. And I called her and said, do you want to write this pitch with me? And we it's going to be presented with all these. And they're pitches like you send the pitches in and then the person picks like, you know, 50, 100 pitches, the one they want to go forward to script. 

And so we worked and we met with the producers in the thing and they picked our pitch. And then from this was like three years, two and a half years ago. And since then, we've like been kind of, I mean, methodically, diligent and unstoppable. I mean, we just keep, we show up, we keep cranking it out. And I'm talking when I say show up during the pandemic with Indiana,not at school. And he was working in other rooms. Indiana was sitting next to me. Our puppy would be on top of me barking and it would be my coffee was sliding off the bed because I didn't have a desk. I was using a desk on my bed, you know like those collapsible...

Audra: Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Right. Right. A tray.

Alisha: Yeah. He was at the desk, recording the new album and working on his book. And so I had the bed desk. And then it's like my computer stopped working, an external mouse. There's like neighbors upstairs in the apartment in L.A. I mean, it was like the worst working conditions, but it's like eventually you have something, right? Eventually if you show up and go to your practice, whatever…

Audra: Persist.

Alisha: Yeah.

Lucky: Yeah. Alisha definitely puts that ten thousand hours to test.

Alisha: So I'll have something like some movie you'll see when it's like that. In a very short time I've pivoted in a very hard direct— and I'm, like I said, I love classes and workshops. So I also will sign up at night time for classes like actual classes with teachers. And I've been studying again, like it's like my Masters and just like do the homework, a little bit in screenwriting classes and television writing classes, because I'm like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to my top potential.

Lucky: I think that's the thing. Like classes are super important to both of us. So we'll take lessons. I mean, I still take guitar lessons.

Audra: Lifelong learning, it sounds like. 

Lucky: Yeah, I was thinking like. Yeah, Harvard courses. 

Alisha: Yeah, we take Harvard online. 

Justin: Lots of like biochemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, so...

Audra: That's important to me too, though. I just have to say lifelong learning and being around people who haven't thrown in the towel on learning, you know, like that's sort of like a baseline thing of just, you know, I don't know, being with people or generating friendships. Like if somebody is like, yeah, no, I just do what I do now and I don't learn any more than.

Lucky: Yeah, that's definitely will test the relationship. I think that like learning and just like, you know, there's a, I read an article once about how people stop. Many people stop listening to new music when they're like 50 or something like that or even younger. And I was like, wow, what a lost opportunity that is, you know, because it's like, oh, what are you listening to these days? And I mean, like, there's so much good, great, amazing content out there. I mean, there's no time.

Alisha: You know, I was thinking about that in terms of our home decoration. Like I love our home, the home we're in right now. It's very, we've every, there’s art, from all of our travels, I love our furniture every piece. But, you know, I don't want it to be a time capsule. I like, I think about this life learning because I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't want it to be a time capsule of this time of when we thought everything was ok. Like my mom every three months gets a totally new hairstyle and every six months gets a new chair, like a sheet or a new rug or a new throw pillows for every season. 

Lucky: Are we going to get new furniture? 

Alisha: Maybe. But, I'm saying not settling into who you think works for you.

Justin: I have another analogy for this. I just read a review of studies like last year on muscle mass in older people. And so basically everybody thinks like you just get older and your muscles go, and that's part of aging. But actually, this review of all the studies shows that it’s actually because people stop moving and start doing stuff. And that actually, if you take a muscle cell of an 80-year-old and put it under a microscope, the muscle cell looks the same as a 20-year-old. And so it's really about continuing to work out. And in this review, they had pictures of like 80-year-old bodybuilders and they were huge and buff. And so basically the idea is that—don't stop. Listen to new music, get new haircuts.

Audra: And in the brain, too, you know, and that's how he felt about moving to Savannah, too, was it was almost like doing crossword and Sudoku or whatever to keep fresh. It's like moving to a new place. You move out of routine.

Lucky: Really shakes it up. 

Audra: Right? Shakes it up, right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because then you're like, wait, that favorite cafe is, no, that's not what it is now. Let's find another one. Like, I mean, let's find something else. I think Alisha, I know Alisha is really good at this also because I'm more of a homebody. I guess…

Alisha: I don’t think that's true at all.

Lucky: Alisha's always on the go.

Alisha: You’re an adventure like we're both adventures in unique ways. And I think you're right. Like new experiences are so important, whether, and I think, like as we talked about at the very beginning, it's important to have those internally and externally. You know, whether or what's pushing us, if it's reading new articles and new music or new ways of meditation or new things that are helping us, and also going to have those like new cafes, making new friendships, making…

Audra: Things through our kids. That they're showing us.

Alisha: It all becomes how we can be more whole, I think.

Justin: Ok, I love the fact that I tried to land the plane and then it kind of took off. Ok, so I just want to make sure so listeners can just follow you, find out more, where?

Lucky: Ok, so you can go to LuckyDiazmusic.com. You can go to the luckyband_ on Instagram or Lucky_Diaz at Twitter or I think we have a Facebook too. Lucky Diaz Band.

Alisha: Good job. I'm really bad at these kind of things. I'm mostly on Instagram at AlishaGaddishere and on Facebook. I talk too much and write too long to be on Twitter that successfully.

Lucky: I'm not good at tweeting. I’d be like I'm having a ham sandwich right now.

Alisha: But truly, if you message me on Instagram and it's like a question or thought or, I usually try to message everybody back, I like to, you know, new people.

Lucky: Yeah. Your books are at that Applause Books.

Alisha: Oh, we'll just anywhere books are sold. So you can get our books and our music. And those are all on PBS.

Audra: So that is one of the most beautiful things, is that we are able to participate in the energy you bring to the world, the work that you share with the world, and all of these different ways and with our families, with our kids. It's really cool. Maybe we can do a book reading sometime or something like that. So I'm sort of like…

Alisha: That would be fun.

Justin: All right. So we have three final questions that we ask every single guest. These are just the like, really, really quick, succinct boom. Yeah. Okay. And then you both can choose to answer together or separately. But the first one is if you could put a Post-it note on every parent's refrigerator tomorrow morning, just put it right there. What would that Post-it note say?

Alisha: “I see you. I hear you. You're doing a great job.”

Audra: Thank you. Thank you.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky, do you have anything to add to that?

Lucky: I mean, how can you add to that? 

Justin: All right. So the next one. Do either of you have a quote that you can recall that you've read or heard recently that's really moved you or changed the way you think or feel?

Alisha: I have one. I was surprised it was, it's by Harriet Tubman. But if you think about when you hear the quote that this is what Harriet Tubman was thinking, it's really amazing. She said, “Every great dream starts with a dreamer.” I mean, if Harriet Tubman was dreaming and doing at the same time, imagine what we can all do.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky. Do you have one?

Lucky: I have a quote, but I feel I'm going to misquote part of it. It's an Eddie Van Halen quote. “You got to care so much that it looks like you don't give a shit.” I think it was something like that. So…

Alisha: That's our life motto. In our house. No, it really is.

Lucky: Give a shit like you don't give it. That's what it was. Something like that. You have to look it out. But it's, I'm paraphrasing,

Audra: It just means like unabashedly, like openly. Like you don't give a shit about repercussions or whatever the fear-based things that people throw your way. Like if you say this and this will happen.

Lucky: It's like if you got to care enough that you don't care. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to.

Audra: You don't care about what people think.

Lucky: Well, I think yeah. And I think he had referred to it as his guitar playing. I think it was like, how do you, so great? He's like, well, I cared so much that I didn't care, you know.

Audra: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Lucky: You know what I mean? Like, it's so effortless when you play. You know, when he played, it was like. But it sounds like that. So, yeah.

Justin: Yeah. I like become so passionate and absorbed. Yeah.

Lucky: Right. Exactly. That you don't care. Yeah.

Justin: Beautiful. 

Ok, so the third and final question is and I like to preface it by saying, you know, as parents, we have these times when we might think, oh, you know, the kids like they’re, the house is a mess or a lot of work or, you know, whatever the case is. And so we just like to end with this question, what do you love about kids? 

Audra: We want to celebrate them. So this is that question.

Alisha: I love… something, I guess, I hope to seek in myself that I hope to reflect to myself, I love how they're just they're unabashed, you know, speaking that I care so much, I don't give a shit. They're unabashed joy and emotive feeling. 

I love when they dance. They aren't judging their bodies and their movement. And when they don’t see who's seeing them and they're doing it for the feeling and the music. And I think there's, you know, the profoundness in childhood, the magic of it, and I hope to prolong it. You know, I love, I want to live in that.

Lucky: I think I was going to say something the same. Like I would say that I love their ability to accept magic as magical. They just do. And children, it's only that adults we get corrupted into seeing. And there's also that famous Picasso quote, you know, “Are we all unseeing by the time we are adults?” Children really see. 

I think their ability to accept magic as magical is magic. When you see your kid at Disneyland and it's or another place and it's like what they see is magic because they accept it. And I think we can do that. You know, I can definitely do that more so daily. Right. Like, you know, wait a second. The fact that we're even existing is magic.

 Alisha: And there is magic.

Lucky: I know it is. I agree. I'm only trying to remind myself, like, you know, doing your laundry or washing your dishes or just going through a process of being like the way I can feel like this water's cold on my hands and I feel the water is and I like this whole experience is like, not to get existential, but it's like it's so much we take for granted magic every day. 

Alisha: I mean, we're on a ball spinning in the world, hurtling through space.

Justin: Right, hurtling through space.

Alisha: That’s not magic?!

Audra: I mean, it's mind-bending. And for kids to not have to be loaded with stories around, I mean, they have stories, but like not the stories, the norm stories around everything. And to be able to approach that all with that wonderment and that, those open eyes and what we can experience through them, like you were saying at the beginning, Lucky, through their optics like that is…

Lucky: There's no rules to anything there, like if you were to take it like, oh, you can grow back like you can grow back a limb, ok, I'm going to grow back. And I'm like, it's like nothing like extreme about it. But their ability to accept things that are supernatural or what we consider supernatural, is just natural. So like, you know, we can all stand to learn from that. I mean, I can.

Justin: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for joining us. This is such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to do it again.

Audra: I can't wait as well. I mean, just the joy that comes from being with you, the incredible energy, this magic. But then I just really want to thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and the fact that you are really willing to connect with us today. We haven't talked in a while. 

We've stayed in touch, but haven't had the chance to have a conversation like this. And that you opened up to us and also to our audience of parents really, really means so much to us. I feel like it's going to resonate with so many people. That's really what so many of us are looking for today, are real conversations, you know, where folks are really getting vulnerable about all of the different things in life. You know, what we're going through as parents and as makers and entrepreneurs and all of these different things, it's really, really important to share.

So thank you.

Alisha: Thank you. Thanks for having us to come on and having this chat. I mean, and, you know, like magic. I told Indiana, our daughter, yesterday that time was like a made-up construct. She was asking about time zones. And I was like, I don’t know, time, like, you know, so. You profoundly affected our hearts. So the time is irrelevant when you, seeing your faces and hearing your voices like it's still you have a, you are meaningful to us. And so we're so grateful to share this with you. So thank you.

Lucky: Yeah, definitely the feeling is mutual. What we all do is so important and touches so many lives.

Alisha: And now you know how crazy we really are.

Audra: Likewise. We're in good company. I think we all are in such and such a beautiful way. That's like the human spirit, right? Like it's just awe-inspiring to me. 

Lucky: It's awesome to see your faces as well.

Justin: Hey, thanks for listening to The Family Thrive podcast. If you like what you heard, please subscribe, tell two friends and head on over to Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts and give us a review. We're so grateful you've chosen to join us on this Family Thrive journey.

Podcast Ep. 17: The Art of Creative Parenting with Grammy and Emmy Award-Winning Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis

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Podcast Ep. 17: The Art of Creative Parenting with Grammy and Emmy Award-Winning Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis

You're not going to want to miss a second of this episode, so settle in as we discuss becoming better parents through creativity, resilience, and the power of love with the wonderful Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis.

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Reading time:

90 minutes

In this episode

We have an amazing power couple on this episode. Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are the husband and wife duo behind the Grammy Award winning Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band. The Emmy Award-winning PBS kids show “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too,” several records and books which we'll link to in the show notes and several more awards. They are also the parents to two amazing kids. 

We met Lucky and Alisha way back after our son Max was first diagnosed. They were the real deal from the get-go: loving, honest, kind, and amazingly creative. Through MaxLove Project, we were able to get them into children's hospitals to perform for the kids and they just lit up the place.

We've stayed in touch and followed them over the years as they won award after award and branched out to write books, TV shows, and movies. In this interview, we dive deep into what it means to be creative parents and partners, how they take care of themselves so they can show up as their best selves with their kids and in their work, how their art affects their parenting, and parenting affects their art and so much more. 

Listen here

About our guest

Husband and wife team Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are a creative match made in heaven! The two front The Lucky Band (FKA Lucky Diaz and The Family Jam Band) and have garnered a number of awards and accolades for their creative project, including multiple Grammy and Emmy nominations and wins. Want to see Lucky and Alisha live once Covid exits stage left? Keep an eye out on their show calendar or follow them on Instagram.

Show notes


  • 01:23 - Stream episodes of “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too” and learn more about the show’s characters here!
  • 27:55 - “Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.” (Harvard Business Review)
  • 37:34 - Calm is an app that offers meditation audio from gurus and meditation leaders from around the world. Want to give app-led meditation a shot? The Family Thrive app offers recordings from all of our Monday Meditation and Wednesday Wind-Downs!
  • 01:07:34 - Micah Player is an artist and illustrator who teamed up with Lucky and Alisha for numerous projects, including Lucky’s upcoming children’s book, Paletero Man.
  • 01:27:57 - Get ready to dance and press play on The Lucky Band’s lated album, “Crayon Kids” (available where all music is streaming).
  • 01:32:54 - Listen to Alisha’s voice acting chops as puppet Facty and watch episodes of Pandemic Playhouse here.
  • 01:33:50 - We can’t wait for Alisha’s upcoming projects to go live! Stay tuned for news and updates on her Instagram.
  • 01:43:20 - Take a look at Applause Books for Alisha’s screenwriting-related books

In this episode

We have an amazing power couple on this episode. Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are the husband and wife duo behind the Grammy Award winning Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band. The Emmy Award-winning PBS kids show “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too,” several records and books which we'll link to in the show notes and several more awards. They are also the parents to two amazing kids. 

We met Lucky and Alisha way back after our son Max was first diagnosed. They were the real deal from the get-go: loving, honest, kind, and amazingly creative. Through MaxLove Project, we were able to get them into children's hospitals to perform for the kids and they just lit up the place.

We've stayed in touch and followed them over the years as they won award after award and branched out to write books, TV shows, and movies. In this interview, we dive deep into what it means to be creative parents and partners, how they take care of themselves so they can show up as their best selves with their kids and in their work, how their art affects their parenting, and parenting affects their art and so much more. 

Listen here

About our guest

Husband and wife team Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are a creative match made in heaven! The two front The Lucky Band (FKA Lucky Diaz and The Family Jam Band) and have garnered a number of awards and accolades for their creative project, including multiple Grammy and Emmy nominations and wins. Want to see Lucky and Alisha live once Covid exits stage left? Keep an eye out on their show calendar or follow them on Instagram.

Show notes


  • 01:23 - Stream episodes of “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too” and learn more about the show’s characters here!
  • 27:55 - “Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.” (Harvard Business Review)
  • 37:34 - Calm is an app that offers meditation audio from gurus and meditation leaders from around the world. Want to give app-led meditation a shot? The Family Thrive app offers recordings from all of our Monday Meditation and Wednesday Wind-Downs!
  • 01:07:34 - Micah Player is an artist and illustrator who teamed up with Lucky and Alisha for numerous projects, including Lucky’s upcoming children’s book, Paletero Man.
  • 01:27:57 - Get ready to dance and press play on The Lucky Band’s lated album, “Crayon Kids” (available where all music is streaming).
  • 01:32:54 - Listen to Alisha’s voice acting chops as puppet Facty and watch episodes of Pandemic Playhouse here.
  • 01:33:50 - We can’t wait for Alisha’s upcoming projects to go live! Stay tuned for news and updates on her Instagram.
  • 01:43:20 - Take a look at Applause Books for Alisha’s screenwriting-related books

In this episode

We have an amazing power couple on this episode. Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are the husband and wife duo behind the Grammy Award winning Lucky Diaz and the Family Jam Band. The Emmy Award-winning PBS kids show “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too,” several records and books which we'll link to in the show notes and several more awards. They are also the parents to two amazing kids. 

We met Lucky and Alisha way back after our son Max was first diagnosed. They were the real deal from the get-go: loving, honest, kind, and amazingly creative. Through MaxLove Project, we were able to get them into children's hospitals to perform for the kids and they just lit up the place.

We've stayed in touch and followed them over the years as they won award after award and branched out to write books, TV shows, and movies. In this interview, we dive deep into what it means to be creative parents and partners, how they take care of themselves so they can show up as their best selves with their kids and in their work, how their art affects their parenting, and parenting affects their art and so much more. 

Listen here

About our guest

Husband and wife team Lucky Diaz and Alisha Gaddis are a creative match made in heaven! The two front The Lucky Band (FKA Lucky Diaz and The Family Jam Band) and have garnered a number of awards and accolades for their creative project, including multiple Grammy and Emmy nominations and wins. Want to see Lucky and Alisha live once Covid exits stage left? Keep an eye out on their show calendar or follow them on Instagram.

Show notes


  • 01:23 - Stream episodes of “Lishy Lou and Lucky Too” and learn more about the show’s characters here!
  • 27:55 - “Imposter syndrome is loosely defined as doubting your abilities and feeling like a fraud.” (Harvard Business Review)
  • 37:34 - Calm is an app that offers meditation audio from gurus and meditation leaders from around the world. Want to give app-led meditation a shot? The Family Thrive app offers recordings from all of our Monday Meditation and Wednesday Wind-Downs!
  • 01:07:34 - Micah Player is an artist and illustrator who teamed up with Lucky and Alisha for numerous projects, including Lucky’s upcoming children’s book, Paletero Man.
  • 01:27:57 - Get ready to dance and press play on The Lucky Band’s lated album, “Crayon Kids” (available where all music is streaming).
  • 01:32:54 - Listen to Alisha’s voice acting chops as puppet Facty and watch episodes of Pandemic Playhouse here.
  • 01:33:50 - We can’t wait for Alisha’s upcoming projects to go live! Stay tuned for news and updates on her Instagram.
  • 01:43:20 - Take a look at Applause Books for Alisha’s screenwriting-related books

Enjoying this? Subscribe to The Family Thrive for more healthy recipes, video classes, and more.

Transcript highlights


02:36 

Audra: So where are we talking to you from, where are you? Where in the world?

Alisha: Well, right now, we actually just got back from Los Angeles, we’re in our home in the midwest, in Columbus, Indiana.

Audra: Oh, awesome.


04:25 

Audra: So five years ago, you thought, “Let's get a place outside of L.A. and let's be closer to family and just kind of spread out a little bit.”

Alisha: Yeah. Five years ago was like when we had our daughter and she was born in Los Angeles and her name is Indiana. And that was when we found out about her congenital hole in her heart. And I kind of had a panic attack, like just was, you know, freaking out and thought, I can't do this by myself. I want to be closer to family. It was. 

And so we thought we were going to move here full time. And then I've never lived here my life. I wasn't raised here. My parents moved here when I was living in New York. So I don't come back as like knowing people. But so then we came here in the winter and bought this house that wasn't restored at the time. And we were like, what are we doing here? This isn't this is worse than I had imagined. 

So then our goal was to get back to LA but keep this house. And we've juggled it and then we renovated it. And then we also have a rental space that when our back, Lucky totally renovated the garage into being a beautiful studio and in-law suite. So when we're not here, we can rent that out. We like tried to create ways to make it work for our family. So that way now we kind of get best of both worlds.


07:15 

Lucky: I think we have equality in our relationship that speaks to extending that to our daughter, I guess. And I think that's I guess our location jumping speaks to that, because, you know, I really feel that it's important to honor both of our heritages in our kids. And so there's a real culture that Alisha comes from that I think is very important. And there's a culture that I come from, so we're both very...

Alisha: And they don't exist in the same place. 

Lucky: They don't exist in this house.

Audra: I feel that.

Justin: I love this. And I'm sensing that to the home in Indiana and the home in Los Angeles is really the manifestation of a theme in your lives and in your work. That is, there's is this like entertainment, you know, artistic side. See, that is the LA. And then it's like about kids and about family and about, you know, like home. And so you have the Indiana part and the. Yeah, it seems perfect for you.


17:27 

Audra: Sorry. I'm just so curious about the bubble and all of that. And before we get into Justin's questions, which are awesome, And your background and how you met and all these great things. I do want to just check in on Indiana. You mentioned that she has a congenital heart, a hole in her heart. It's a congenital effect, if you will. What, how’s she doing?

Alisha: Thanks for asking, and she's doing great, I mean, great as a like, you know, hitting all the physical markers that she should. You know, it was interesting. She just entered kindergarten. And I mean, talk about the anxiety and the stress.

Audra: Oh, yeah. 

Alisha: I mean, we just didn't know what to do. So we ended up putting her in a small Montessori school, because at the moment it's Covid guidelines.

Audra: Yes. 

Alisha: Yeah. Literally I was like...

Lucky: And they had the smallest population.

Alisha: The smallest population, wonderful, wonderful teachers. 

Lucky: It has a lot of things going for it. 

Alisha: It’s outside. Like, it was like checking the most boxes.

Lucky: I mean, I'm a product of that as a young child.

Alisha: My parents are public school teachers. So it took a lot. My mom was a public school kindergarten teacher for 35 years. 

Audra: Wow. 

Alisha: Yeah, amazing. And my friends are all kindergarten teachers. Like literally they're all teachers in the public school. So anywho I digress. 

But part of it was before we went, that was before we came here. We had to go to her biannual cardiology appointment. And she was supposed to have heart surgery before entering kindergarten. And so it was just like I mean, my tendency when we go to intense doctor's appointments is I start blacking out and like I can't process information. So we've come up with and it was only one person at a time can go into these big things because of Covid. And usually he like, I deal with her and he kind of processes what's being told to us. And this time he couldn't come in. 

So I had to FaceTime the doctor and be like, here, talk just to my husband while I look at all the heart monitors in the dark room. And previously, she had they had there was like a flap of skin that looked like it was kind of like just, kind of flapping over the hole. And it wasn't there this time, which was a huge let down. And there's nothing you can do about that. 

But at the same time, he was like, let's hold off on the heart surgery because she's doing fine. She can literally live with this up until a certain point, and then she may experience all these horrible things. But if she's not at this moment, then it's ok. And she's very aware of her condition. She knows, mask-wearing has been trickier because she has a problem processing oxygen so she can't get enough. It's like her heart works double to get the oxygen. 

Audra: Right. 

Alisha: So it's like intense mask wearers and he hears a lot. And we have her wear a mask outside. So it's a lot when she goes to school and it was 106 and she has a mask on. And so it’s a lot to process. But she knows, she knows what to do. She knows to like hopefully. 

So that's you know, as a mom and dad, I can't speak for you, but I will. But as like a dad, parents letting her off and to not being able to be like, take your mask off, go to the side, take your drink of water, breathe, because she gets, you know. So you have to kind of prep the teachers. And her teachers have been amazing. But she's doing well, like psychologically, she's doing super well physically. I mean, we couldn't ask for more, really. 


24:07 

Justin: All right, so between you both, you have produced over a dozen records, a television show, several books, have won multiple Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards, a Parent's Choice Gold Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, a National Parenting Product Award. And I just want to like, you guys are a big deal. So am I missing anything?

Audra: And the Grammy is also Latin Grammy, right? Like, many, I feel like it was this was more than once. 

Justin: I said awards, plural. 

Audra: This is an incredible list, you two. What did we miss?

Justin: Well, oh, you know, what's coming up for me right away is I have heard that for artists, performers who, you know, achieve the awards, you know, they get this recognition that they can still have a sense of like, “Oh, my God, what's the next thing?” And so is this for you? Like, do you experience that?

Lucky: I just talked about this this morning. That’s our morning conversation.

Alisha: Every morning we're like, we're doing this like…

Justin: Oh, my gosh, that's what I've heard. And so you like you get the awards, like you get the gold star.

Audra: You're some of the most accomplished human beings on this earth. 

Justin: Like you're doing great and then, you know, you wake up the next day and like, ok, what's the next thing?

Audra: It’s not enough.

Alisha: Yeah. I mean… Yes.

Lucky: It's very hard but what you said is 100 percent.

Alisha: And it's hard when you put out things and then they're done, you know, and it's hard to know what the next goal is. And it's you know, it sounds like, wahhh wahhh. But it's like when you accomplish these huge things that you wanted. We're both trying to be like, what is it now that we really do actually? 

What do we want to do, in like our souls and hearts, coupled with like the doubt and the fear and the self-loathing that is in our heads as artists. And we both share that. So it's like thankfully often it's not at the same time. So, yeah.

Justin: So you take turns. Oh, yes. 

Audra: You coach each other. 

Lucky: I think that it's overwhelming. That feeling is overwhelming and creating things. And then sometimes you just don't. I think we all get, me personally. I could only speak for myself in the sense that the reason I make things is because I've always thought it was just so much fun. I've always found so much fulfillment out of creating things. And I feel that it's part of one of life's gifts to be able to have an ability just to create stuff. 

And for a long time, I just thought everybody created things instantly. And I think I was like a teenager or something and, or maybe in college. And I was talking to someone about even writing a song or, you know, if you asked me to write a song about like Mayo and tomato, like, yeah, sure I can do that. I can literally do that. Right. And I was talking to this person and they were like, “Oh, like I could never, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to start with that.” Right. And then it occurred to me that not everyone is like everyone has special abilities, but not everyone has the same ability. And then those abilities are then like in different levels of like depending on how much effort you give them either. 

But I thought like it's a benefit and a detriment to want and have this, right, because like, you know, in your heart, you want to keep making things. And then it's so sometimes such a struggle to make things. And then when you get like this, these huge validations that are like, you're so great at making them, and then you're like, oh, but I'm a fraud because that stuff isn't as good as you think it is. And so like every day, it's like it's a real struggle, I think that sees it...

Alisha: And we're different in that way. He has a very much like we talk about like imposter syndrome.

Audra: Oh, that's what I was just thinking, like creative imposter syndrome or whatever. 

Alisha: Mine's more of like a perfectionist tendency and wanting to just like produce more, better, faster, in a more profound way. Like, hey, you're...

Lucky: Yeah, you're really. Yeah, that's...

Alisha: Like, you like to produce things and then doubt it immediately or like get an award and it's like not good enough. And I'm like, ok, I got this. I have to do better. Very like, I have to make another goal, like quickly. 

Audra: I identify with you, Alisha, for sure. And I think Justin's more on the side of the nagging imposter syndrome, like checking out your work.

Justin:  Actually, I feel like what you both said, like I feel like the above. I feel very doubtful and like an imposter. And I need to produce a bunch more. And I know...

Lucky: Yeah, well, yeah. And you always and you're always like thinking, wow, I have to like, make more. And I think I could work breakfast today. Usually on weekends we do like a brunch, right? We'll do like a family brunch. We all sit down and we have it. That's not to say we don't do it during the week now, but...

Alisha: We usually go to the farmer's market on Saturday, buy all fresh things, and then Lucky and Indiana make a big breakfast.

Audra: Ohhh. Great. 

Lucky: … I am having a dialogue with myself about like, well, maybe I just need to stop making things, maybe just for a second to get myself permission to just break. And I think that a good lesson for creatives that I'm only learning myself is that just because you feel like you achieved this one thing and then like it's done like you're so set, you're going to wake up every day and you're like, well…

Alisha: The world’s gonna be different. 

Lucky: Just like I did this thing and everyone thought it was cool and everything's great. And I know like and I literally told Alisha two days ago, like, “Am I like any good at this? Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.” Like that's a real conversation we're having on the porch as we're sitting, watching, like people walk their dog. 

Alisha: I’m like “You ask me this every day.” That was my answer. He asked me every day, like. Yes, you’re amazing.

Lucky: Yeah. And I mean, I think there's like aspects of like, you know, I'm like, “Oh, well, maybe my studio needs this thing, this microphone or this amplifier, this thing to really make me better, right? Or maybe I'm going to find inspiration in that.” And sometimes, most often I do. I find a little bit of, like a little salt and that'll be like, oh, this little flavor there.

Alisha: That’s important though.

Lucky: And that ignites it, right? Because the gear or the guitars or the stuff for me isn't about the stuff or accumulating it. It's about the inspiration that it brings in the story that it also brings with it, right? Like, who owned this? Like what did they make with this thing? Is it going to give me the permission to make something now? Right. And I think that like but also that's a slippery, dangerous slope, because then you find yourself with like, well, I have this stuff and I still haven't created anything like…

Alisha: Well, that's because you've made something internal external. Right? So like what Lucky’s describing is taking his anxiety and self-doubt manifestations, putting it looking for outward change and not dealing with the voice in his head.

Audra: Oh, that’s powerful…

Justin: Ok, now… I was going to talk about this stuff or find a way to talk about later on, but like this is. Yeah. So this feels like there's a lot of room here for doing some serious inner work. And one thing that I've learned as a parent is that the more inner work that I do, therapy, different... 

Audra: Emotional processing. 

Justin: Yeah. Processing practices and relationship skills and all the stuff, the more work I do on this, the more I can show up for my partner, for my kids. And, but then for you, there's this added thing of like the more you show up in your creativity, in your work. And so I'm curious, like what sort of. I'm not sure exactly the right word to use here. Modalities, therapies, self-work.

Audra: Is there anything that works for you? Was there anything that helps? 

Justin: Yeah. 

Alisha: Oh, my gosh, you all. I have tried everything during this pandemic because I think some of our ways of dealing with things were intake, which were new experience, travel, those kind of things that then we can internalize. But when you're taken, when you're quarantined in a pandemic, you have to take a real good look at yourself and your partner, like what you're saying. And looking about, I have always been big proponents of therapy, and it's been very hard to get a new therapist in this climate. Therapists are booked to the closet.

Audra: Oh, yeah...

Alisha: All my friends who are therapists, all my friends were trying to go to therapists. I mean, everyone is booked. I personally, a big proponent, we both are of journaling every day. We talk a lot. I do a meditation almost every day. I have like, I'm talking crystal, tarot.

Justin: Oh, love it.

Alisha: Breathing workshops. Anything that you can do to center yourself or stoppings. I'm talking like tea at night, wine at night. 

Justin: Wine in the morning.


36:49 

Justin: You're the one who is going to look for different therapeutic approaches. So you mentioned all these different things. So I just have a curiosity. What right now is like really working for you or like what right now seems to be really important?

Alisha: Well, it's 140. Ok, this is like 140. Today's the day I got to sleep in. This morning, I woke up last night. I set my crystals out. This is like last night I set my crystals out for some moonlight energy. I lit candles for release and gratefulness, meditated before I went to bed to “Let's Heal the Shit” by Emily Churchhill. A free thing to do. Then I listen to more, another meditation on Calm and read a mindful magazine with a cup of tea. I woke up this morning. I journaled in bed while cuddling my daughter and dog, and he brought coffee. I then did a tarot card and got up and listened to the music. We listened to Django Reinhardt and danced a little bit. This was like before, like those are the things I do with it in like every like, that's just like a snippet. 

So when I say I'm desperately searching for ways to quell my anxiety because I get not just panic attacks, full-on panic, panic attacks isn’t the right word, anxiety attacks. What's the one that's worse, where you have like total mental breakdowns and like can't breathe?

Audra: Panic attack.

Alisha: Hyperventilating… 

Justin: Yeah, I think so. Panic attacks for sure.

Lucky: That only happens very suddenly though.

Alisha: Yeah, exactly. Like the anxiety and like crying. Like very cathartic. Like I try to let myself feel all this great, you know, because, you know, we cry, cry and journal it. And then, but I have to, I have to stay on top of my anxiety, especially in these times, because I think one of my strengths is controlling things. Lists making, control like I control our, like I'm very organized and very…

Lucky: Yeah, Alisha does all our finances, all, anything that requires smart brains. There's an art.

Alisha: Well, it's an odd thing because I'm a creative, but with a real organized…

Justin: Well, that's the Midwestern part of you right?

Alisha: Yeah, I think so. But in order because there's so many variables right now that I can't change, like yesterday we had this trip planned, that was the redo for my birthday party because of Covid. And now we're not going to take this trip because it's going to be another Covid birthday. And that's these small things that are adding up, that feel like they're breaking me. Like they're like I just feel a heaviness. So I have to be proactive so that I can be, like you said Justin, a present mindful parent.

Lucky: But I think, just from observing Alisha, though, I have to say that I think the number one thing that Alisha does in order for me to, I think as a therapeutic device is talking. Alisha, loves…
Audra: It's so good. 

Justin: It's therapeutic. Yes, it's as you said before, it is bringing what's inside outside. Your processing…

Lucky: And she's so good at it.

Alisha: With our daughter, I process.

Lucky: Processing. That's it, Justin. That's it. That's number one. Right. So it's kind of like, you know, oh, I like I, I like...

Alisha: I reach out to community and process there. I have an amazing support group and other moms and different this mom group. I'm in the pile and they're amazing. And then, but processing with Lucky and processing with our daughter.

Lucky: It's a lot of talking.

Alisha: It’s a lot of talking. 

Lucky: Our eldest daughter is like, I don't... 

Alisha: When she was little. She was like...

Lucky: She was like, I don't want to talk about anything else. And I mean, I think that it's important, though, because, you know, Alisha is really good at identifying like problems, like let's say like, you know, I burn something and I'm like, you know, freak out in the kitchen like, “Oh, man, that was expensive cheese.” And, you know, it's all like, you know what I mean?

Alisha: My new phrase to him is, I say, “Is that a proper emotional response? Let's just take a pause.”

Lucky: You know, it’s not about burning the cheese. It's not about the way you know, that's…

Justin: Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, because the proper emotional, like my response would be like, well, it's my emotional response and it's my emotional truth. Alright, let me stress out about it. But your deeper question is right. Like this isn't about the cheese Lucky. Like, what is this really about? Yeah. Right.

Alisha: Right. So if you said like this is my response, like I would be like, that's valid like that. That is valid that you're having that anger.

Lucky: And unfortunately, I have a lot of like maybe my old man in me that's more like old school, like, you know, you know, rub some dirt on it, you know what I mean? Kind of vibe.

Justin: Well, that's what happens. So that's what I've learned, because practically every boy, at least in America, is raised to repress, you know, like stop the crying. Keep it out. Control, control, control. Yeah. And so I this I don't remember who said this, but yeah, what is not expressed gets repressed. And I feel like that's exactly like men now. They grow up in their like they've repressed all this stuff for their whole life. And then it comes out in explosions. It's like, why did dad just lose his shit like that?


47:55 

Audra: It sounds like to me you both are incredibly self-aware and incredibly open with each other. I'm really just taking it all in. I think it's beautiful. Yeah, it's just really, really beautiful. 

How open you are and how does this translate your processing of your childhoods, of that expression, of for Lucky for you, your inner child maybe getting to express himself in a way that he never could as a child. Right. How your Midwest upbringing in these very pragmatic ways, but then your, for Alisha going to LA and being able to express yourself as an artist and then digging into your inner work and digging in to support yourself. All of the realizations you had around all of this, how has that affected you both as parents? And you have an age spread, too. So I'd love to hear like affected you as parents, like with kids at very different ages.

Alisha: Wow, that’s a lot of thoughts.

Lucky: I think at the end of the day, like for Alisha and I both like, you know, I think we want to lead as examples for our kids to know that being who they are is what's most important, truly. Right. So. And I joke about this, and I just heard this a million times, but, you know, if our daughter wants to be, or any of our girls, if they want to be an electrician, well, then and they love electricity and they love being electrician. I want them to be the like the most passionate electrician ever did ever to live. 

Whatever their passions are. That's really what I want for them. I feel like that's what we as parents are able to provide. Giving them the awareness and permission to just be themselves. Right. And I think that there's always this very linear kind of path and, you know, North American like parenting and success or whatever that looks like. You know, it's like, oh, you're going to go to college and you're going to do this and you're going to get a good job. 

Audra: And then and then. Right.

Lucky: But the problem with that is we all know is that it's a never-ending cycle. And then people find themselves like around our age or my age and being like, what did I do with my whole life? You know, like what, right?

Audra: Trying to find themselves. Right.

Lucky: So I think it's like for us and for me, I think like trying to just set an example of being like, hey, you can create whatever life you want, just as long as you're finding joy and hopefully providing joy for other people or your community, that I think it's a win. Right? It's a success, you know, and finding whatever it is that they're great at or impassioned about, that's the path I think that, I think in this lesson. 

You know, Alisha and I have faced many obstacles and I've had many opportunities, but I also feel that there is a certain kind of courage that we both have, like had to give to one another and to each have within ourselves to do it. So like, you know, there's been many times where I'm like, “I can't go on.” Alisha's like, “you got to keep going.” And then Alisha’s like, “I can't go on.” I'm like, “you got to keep going.” 

And it's like because at the end of day, you know, like I always used this idea, like, you know, I always wanted to go to Tokyo. Right. And so Alisha and I were like, I don't remember what year it was, but we were living in those fields in Los Angeles. And I was, you know, still she had just kind of started going back to her other family's house to spend some time. And I remember waking up one day thinking like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Tokyo and I was, I've been waiting for an opportunity for like life to be like, hey, you're going to go to Japan. Right. 

And it just hadn't showed up yet. I'm like, how much room I got on this credit card. I was just thinking, literally, I was like, how much room I got on that. Ok, cool. I'm going to go on Delta.com. What if I had tickets to go and I'm going to try to figure out like when we can go for how long. Because my thought, like you're never going to remember the money it didn't have. But I can tell you what it felt like to see Japan, just the coast of Japan as you're flying into Japan. And what we had for dinner that very first night, I can oh, I can tell you that I think that that's how I want to live life. And just even having this conversation reminds me. Yes, yes, yes. Keep going down this route because you're not going to, because you know who's going to remember. And I can't tell you how much money we didn't have. I can't tell you any of those things. But I can tell you that it was something that was so meaningful. 

And I know it's, I'm not trying to be hedonistic. And I know that you both can speak to this in ways that I can't imagine where it's like this is this. It is this. This is the moment. Right. So let's make something happen. And if you don't, then you may regret it. Just do this, right? Just honor it. Honor this moment. Honor this relationship. Honor this family. Honor this existence. Because, you know, so often in the last, like especially the last 20 months, we've lost a lot of friends. Like lost. They're gone now. And so it's kind of like this is all we got right now, that I can speak to. But if you can lead by example for our own kids anyways, I think that that's the best thing to do, and our daughters have really benefited from that kind of thought.

Audra: It sounds like I mean, it sounds like a real powerful perspective on, to me, an abundance mindset and not taking things for granted in life like. Really, really focusing on trying to be present and treasuring our time together and treasuring our relationships and our family like some of the most powerful things that we can do together with our time on this earth. Right.


55:56 

Alisha: So I'm trying to learn as a parent that my way isn't the way for her, which we you know, I was younger when I was parenting Ella, and coming in as a step-parent. So I didn't get the chance to fully use all the tactics I had and am able to now. But I think like with Indiana, you know, it's just an interesting, it's interesting when you notice your kids are different than you and they're teaching you and you're trying to gather with passion, with grace.

Audra: That's a powerful observation. And I think something that is amazing that you're honoring in your children and so beautiful. Like that's something that has been a real revelation to me as well. 

And I look at my kids instead of as mini me’s, which is kind of how I thought I was going to think when we had kids, you know, like there are going to be like some, you know, equation of us. Right. And then to see you are your own human being, like this is mind-blowing. Right. And so beautiful. And it's for me to work on kind of myself and my reactions and my issues and the things that I bring to this so that I can support you in being you.

Alisha: Yes. And speaking to that, it's like, you know, some of the things we were taught as kids that what are, what we're bringing into it that we think is right. One of the things that I try to do a lot is I'll start I'll start saying something like she'll be doing something, say, jumping on our couch. And I was absolutely not allowed to jump on a couch. And I and this was maybe last year I started to say, “stop jumping on the couch.” And then I'm like, wait, do I actually feel that way? Do I? Pause. Pause. Why am I telling her to stop?

Lucky: Only you can do this. I mean, it's amazing.

Audra: Getting curious about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. In the moment, creating the truth of what our familial dynamic is. Like, I know she's not going to go to somebody else's house and jump on a couch. I know she can go to the Louvre and not touch a statue or run. I know. I know who my child is. So she wants to jump on a couch and not knock something down, like what? Like, I don't. It's ok.And I bring that up is like a micro thing to a macro situation of who we are and also being open to evolving to what we really want to be in our relationships. Right. Like learning from each other. So I'm trying. I have no idea.

Justin: So I've heard a lot of or what I'm hearing is how your art and your work has affected your parenting and the lessons that you're taking into parenting. And I'm wondering if there's anything moving the other way of like parenting affecting art. And what has that been like?

Lucky: I mean, I think that it's a profound experience to be a parent, because I always think that you get optics from your children that you didn't have before. 

You know, and I remember like Indiana being small and just looking, she's like look at, look at the, we were on a walk just her and I and she's like, look at the trees, look at and she has this like what kind of magic she has this magic that Alisha has, that she's able to see things in different ways. And not that I don't just see a tree, but she's looking up. And I thought to myself, we'd been on this walk, you know, a dozen times or something, right, in that month and I had not even looked up. And I nodded and taken the opportunity to actually see what was happening from our own perspective. And I was like, whoa, this is really cool. Wow. This is really beautiful. 

This is the way she sees the world. I didn't see that. And I think it's been a huge gift for me to be able to see things through her optics, through her eyes, literally and figuratively, because she's also she comes up with like all these amazing ideas and all that similar things. And it's kind of like, whoa, like I never really thought about that. But it opens up these opportunities. 

And Alisha is a little, she's better at being there for that, being present anyways. And so, like my daily struggle is being more aware and present in that but it also gives me the ability of the show. I had mentioned earlier just to play. I love playing. I love making up things. You know, if we even, if we were adults without any children, imagine it like, ok, for the next 10 minutes, you're going to take figurines and you're going to make a dialog. Right. 

And people were like, this is insane. That's crazy. How much better would we all be if we had that opportunity just to play with figurines, right. And just be right and just have that dramatic therapy of just being like, I had a bad day at work, man, I'm going to eat your face off, you know, like, you know, just even working through that.

Audra: Oh, it's such a good point. Such a good point. That's authentic relating.


1:07:21 

Lucky: I mean, I've seen my parents maybe in that way, but I know for a fact that my girls have seen me in like ways that's like, wow, that's really who you are. And that is like that kind of gift is profound because it's like this is who I am. I think like, you know, Micah and I know you know who a player is who illustrates a lot of our projects and stuff. 

And Micah and I were always talking about as fathers, like leaving something to our kids. Right. What's the legacy that we're leaving? And I think that that's part of the game, too, for us, is just having this legacy left, right, of like honesty and bravery and and just total, just I don't know, just transparency in the sense that like I know my dad, like I know that my girls can be like I know my dad, I know who he is. And I think that that's such a rare opportunity, you know, because we're also protecting ourselves, too, right. And there's a vulnerability that… 

Alisha: I think you hit on something of like parents and talking about parenting and what we want to give to our kids, letting our kids see us be vulnerable. Like the other day, I was crying because I was like I mentioned, I had this peak of like it was all too much again, you know, sending her to for saying in Indiana. 

So she hugged me and she kind of started laughing. She was like, “Are you crying for real mama or are you...?” And I said, “no, I'm crying because I'm feeling my big feelings right now and I'm going to move through them and it'll be ok. But I'm feeling really sad right now, and that's ok.” Then it was ok. Then we played again. Right. But like, I think letting your kids see your passion, like your true passion, unbridled passion. 

Like you said, our kids see us like live in these huge ways and huge stages for a lot of people. But then they see us in our own home with that same passion that's just for them and that same vulnerability that we can share collectively. And I think that you're right, that also shapes their emotional landscape, something I hope our daughter carries forward.

 Audra: Sharing your true joys and pain, processing your emotions together, sharing in your art, your creativity, your energetic work, all of that stuff. It's so counter to how so many of us were raised, which was in a performance, a performance of parenting. What are you supposed to do as a parent? I'm supposed to do what my parents did. There's a role, right? Just a role is not who we thought about, who we really are. And I think that we are seeing parenting together. And I don’t speak for all of us. But it sounds like we're seeing parenting in a different way.

Lucky: I would agree. I think generationally it's different for sure. And I think that the conversations as like fathers, like I again, I mentioned Micah because he's a creative partner and a man that I work with and have these conversations with about what that's like being of this time and another time that didn't exist and being a product of another time and going into another time. Right. And evolving together and the evolution of what that looks like and yeah, for sure. 

And then and then trying to figure out what fathering means, what parenting means out being a man is supposed to look like to you know, and I think that like hanging up, like it's an everyday process of being like, wait, you know, ok, so what? It's like what are gender roles like? Oh, I didn't mean to be like that about it. Like, you know, I you know, I recently said and I really regret it, like, you know, I just felt really badly about it. Like we had some friends over and they have two boys. And I was like, oh, and they were like creating a ruckus or something. I'm like, oh, they're just boys, you know, they're just being boys or whatever it was. It was a passing statement because it was the energy. It was just not it was, it was not thought through. Right. 

And I felt really badly about it. But these are the kinds of events like situations and experiences that I think dads and people, men of this generation or my generation are experiencing. Right. Because it's so ingrained about like I don't have any, you know, Alisha, I don't have any gender, you know, assignments to anything. Right. Whether they're colors. And in fact, we're always fighting against gender norms. But I think I always have those conversations of being you know, that's like saying like, hey, guys, how you doing, guys?

Audra: I'm unlearning that hardcore.

Justin: I think we're all of the generation. We grew up like kids. Like “guys.” “What's up, guys?” Oh, so right. As a college instructor it's, over the past several years has been so difficult because all it just slips out. 

Lucky: It does, and that's…

Justin: Guys, can you check out this? And then. So the last year, I just made a point. I was like, I'm just going to apologize every time I do that, and I'm going to continue and I'll try to do better.

Alisha: But that's a credible evolution, like the fact that these you know, it's the unlearning. And I think that's the, I think even letting people see that we acknowledge that we are unlearning by new learning. Because I'll do the same thing is as you all, I'll be like, oh, I'm I'm really sorry. I'm going to restart like, hey, all I know that sounds stupid. I'm trying not to say this. And even like letting our children see that, too. 

Audra: Absolutely. 

Alisha: That's a big deal. Like Indiana came back from her second day of kindergarten and she was a little bit upset. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know how to address it. She said Indiana or she said, “Mama, like there's a boys bathroom and a girl's bathroom and there's not a them bathroom.” And this is something I speak to her a lot about, like she'll be well, she'll say, oh, they're that and then let's not assign them pronouns, you know, unless we know. Unless like because we have a lot of friends who are children, who are they/them and because that's the world. And for the first time, I was taken aback about what my answer should be, because I didn't expect that to be like the thing she took from kindergarten day two. Right. 

I was like, well, you know…I like she'd asked me this real hurtful thing that was valid, like I've said. And this I think I said something. I bumbled through it and I said, you know, someone, “one of your friends or you or someone needs to, comes up and it doesn't feel comfortable going into either the bathrooms. Let them know that we are safe people to talk to.” And I asked her if she went to the school requesting the gender neutral bathroom, and she was like, no, it's ok for now. I just really didn't know why they made that choice. And then she turned around. 

Audra: Were you so proud of her?



1:23:12 

Alisha: Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like we're trying consciously and subconsciously in our house. I can't speak for the world, but when we create art, we are very mindful, almost kind of too mindful. Sometimes we can't. But the outcome is positive.



1:27:28 

Justin: We don't want to use up your entire day, and so I kind of...

Audra: I know we could.

Justin: So I would love to have you back on and we could talk more about this. But as we sort of land this plane, I just want to be sure to ask. We've heard about books. You have a new, you have at least one new... Can you just give us a lay of the land? What is out right now and where can listeners find out more about you?

Lucky: We have a new album that came out June.

Alisha: I don't even know what day it is.

 Lucky: It's called Crayon Kids, and it's available where all music is streaming. 

Justin: Yes, it's fantastic. I mean, it's so great.

Alisha: It is relevant, it’s powerful. 

Justin: So I just wanted to ask about Generation C. So, I mean, the album starts. It's such an amazing song because it, I’ve listened to it now a bunch of times because it's like, how does this song make me feel so sad and happy at the same time? And so I just wanted to ask you about writing this song that feels really emotionally complex.

Lucky: It's a really great question. So basically, it's the last song that we wrote for that EP, that album. The project started out as like three songs, and then it turned into nine songs. 

My writing partner in it, Michael Farkas, who I wrote it with, and Kenny Siegel, who's the other writer on that particular song, it’s the only song on our album that has all three of us writing together. 

Because some of them I kind of write by myself, but ultimately Michael and I split the writing credit and then, you know, like I'll pass something through Alisha where she's like, “Oh, I like this, I like that there, move that there.” So she's like really involved in that process. But in that song, like Kenny had sent a text message and he's like, “Oh, you guys like I'm seeing all these songs, we need like a song.” 

He's got this like, he's like a real New York guy. “I guess I, you know, doonas. I feel it's really that song, put with the whole thing together, you know, like it’s strong.” And so he's like, “yeah, we got to write something about a Generation C. See, you know, have you heard about this?” And I was like, “I hadn't heard about it.” And I'm like, “what is this?” And he's like, you know, and so we're talking having this dialogue as dads, as fathers. And then also talking about what our kids are going through. And then I'm like talking to Alisha. Michael's talking to his wife and partner…

Alisha: Who's my best friend.

Justin: Oh, perfect. Perfect. 

Lucky: Yeah. So my writing partner is Alisha's best friends husband from college. 

Alisha: My roommate from college, who's a therapist. And our husbands now are creative writing partners.

Justin: So cool. That's awesome.

Lucky: So we are very, we have a very tight relationship, Michael and I. And I just kind of thought like, and I had written this little thing and Kenny's like this really big deal producer. He works with like Langhorne Slim and, you know, Sean Lennon and all these like really important people. And I'm like, oh. And he's like, yeah, you got to go write this thing. You call me tomorrow with a song and I'm like, Oh, my god. Can't talk right now because I want to show up. You know, I don't want to be like, okay, I don't know, Kenny. I was like, so I'm like, you know, like go in my room, like toiling away, trying to come up with something and so I got this little thing. And I said and I start kind of just we start kind of text messaging it back and forth.

Alisha: And Michael.

Lucky: And Michael, Michael and I, and Kenny is like, “this is great, you know!” So that we like kind of, and I just and it's all pulled from real life experiences, like it felt that. Yeah, you know, like the first lines that “there's a life that happened yesterday, I don't remember much, but I know that I can play outside.” Right. That's all I know about it, because our kids have such a short, at least our young children don't have a memory that's that long. 

Justin: And then like, yeah, shortly after that it was like in the song I remember like canceled birthday parties. It was like the first part was like, oh yeah.

Lucky: Right. And so like and then, you know, I just love pop music. So I think my most favorite song is like, Weezer has a new song called like All My Favorite Songs Make Me Sad. 

And so, like all my favorite songs make me sad.

Alisha: Oh god, they're the worst.

Lucky: It's like they give me the moany, groanys. I mean it's, I want to listen to like, you know, the Pixies or the Cure or something. You know, R.E.M.

Audra: Totally.

Justin: But at the same time, this song is really joyful, too. I mean, it's kind of owning this identity and then also owning all the things that, some of the joyful parts like I can still play outside, you know.

Lucky: Yeah. And I think that that's the hope in it, right. Like is just the hope that we all have to have to keep going. And I think that that's what's really represented there in the sense that I don't know how this will identify with our children. I don't know how this time will impact our kids. 

But I know it'll be a monumental time, you know. Like I didn't, wasn't alive during World War II. But I know that so many things were shaped out of the depression and people like I mean, you know what I mean? And as a kid, I was fascinated by WWII history. And so as an adult, I'm fascinated with, you know, everything that happened during the war. But I think at this time we'll have some kind of and a very disposable instant culture we live in. This will have long-lasting repercussions. So it'll remain to be seen how you know, it'll you know…

Alisha: It's interesting. A lot of, you know, Lucky’s book came out like he mentions, and there were creative projects that came out of, you know, obviously of the pandemic like that. And then for me, I voiced a puppet cartoon-type thing on PBS during this time. It's called Pandemic Playhouse.

Audra: It was so incredible.

Alisha: Yeay! So we did all that, Like we had to record, you know, in our little home studio. And there were a lot of difficulties, but it was a really great project. And now it's available on all PBS platforms. I play Facty, which is typecasting, I think; who is like obsessed with actual facts and making sure that everybody knows them.

Justin: That felt true for you.

Alisha: Yeah. I was literally like, I don't need to study this character, like that was really fun to do. I love doing voiceover work. And I, you know, we stayed very busy. 

But personally, I was able to pivot back to writing more intentionally. So my writing partner and I make sort low optioned a movie to Four Leaf Productions. It's an untitled wedding movie. It has a title, but I can't say it. So we optioned a movie and we've been through like three drafts to the producers and hopefully we’re done. And then it'll be out.

Audra: Wow. Is it a comedy?

Alisha: It is. It's a rom-com. It's really funny. I mean, it is really funny. I love it. And I've written like another sitcom and have it with another production company and two shows I wrote for Hallmark. So...

Lucky: She's so busy that like I just feel like ashamed if I'm not doing that. 

Audra: But I hear this. It's quite a list. I mean, this is quite an incredible, you know, pandemic list of things you've been working on. It sounds like you've been going back to your comedic roots.

Alisha: Yeah, I think it's like it's been an opportunity, I mean, I went to New York University, Tisch School of the Arts for acting. So I was like, I got to spend time, you know, on the Sydney Opera House and on Broadway and on television. And then when I met Lucky, like this weird thing happened with kids music. And I loved performing. And then that's why I love the television show most, I guess, in the live shows, whereas I kind of work as the producer of things, as we all know, like now that I'm crazy organized. I don't have a songwriting music background except as a singer. 

So, you know, and I've always when I met him, I was touring as a standup comic. And that's how we met. He saw me on stage at the Comedy Store and stalked me. But it worked out. But, you know, and while I was writing, you know, monologue books and acting. But now it's kind of like my writing partner, Meg and I actually met before Lucky and I met. We've been doing comedy together, live, for about 15 years. 

And it kind of, you know, you hope, I always wanted and hoped and prayed for a writing partner that like Meg and I didn't know we didn't know that we were sitting right in front of each other and something happened where an opportunity came up and someone said, does someone have a pitch for a Christmas movie for this star? The celebrity wants to pitch this movie, and here's what the movie's about. And I said, oh, I do. I had nothing. Like, I literally had nothing. That’s how I do all my, I mean, all of them. I was like, yep, I definitely do that. Like, I just, we almost sold a show to this like other network. And it, because I was like, yep, I've got that, calling all the… And so I called Meg in, because Meg is, was, has been writing. She's more. She has more. She has a lot of accolades. She's won a lot of awards. She's written a lot. She was already a screenplay writer. And I called her and said, do you want to write this pitch with me? And we it's going to be presented with all these. And they're pitches like you send the pitches in and then the person picks like, you know, 50, 100 pitches, the one they want to go forward to script. 

And so we worked and we met with the producers in the thing and they picked our pitch. And then from this was like three years, two and a half years ago. And since then, we've like been kind of, I mean, methodically, diligent and unstoppable. I mean, we just keep, we show up, we keep cranking it out. And I'm talking when I say show up during the pandemic with Indiana,not at school. And he was working in other rooms. Indiana was sitting next to me. Our puppy would be on top of me barking and it would be my coffee was sliding off the bed because I didn't have a desk. I was using a desk on my bed, you know like those collapsible...

Audra: Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Right. Right. A tray.

Alisha: Yeah. He was at the desk, recording the new album and working on his book. And so I had the bed desk. And then it's like my computer stopped working, an external mouse. There's like neighbors upstairs in the apartment in L.A. I mean, it was like the worst working conditions, but it's like eventually you have something, right? Eventually if you show up and go to your practice, whatever…

Audra: Persist.

Alisha: Yeah.

Lucky: Yeah. Alisha definitely puts that ten thousand hours to test.

Alisha: So I'll have something like some movie you'll see when it's like that. In a very short time I've pivoted in a very hard direct— and I'm, like I said, I love classes and workshops. So I also will sign up at night time for classes like actual classes with teachers. And I've been studying again, like it's like my Masters and just like do the homework, a little bit in screenwriting classes and television writing classes, because I'm like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to my top potential.

Lucky: I think that's the thing. Like classes are super important to both of us. So we'll take lessons. I mean, I still take guitar lessons.

Audra: Lifelong learning, it sounds like. 

Lucky: Yeah, I was thinking like. Yeah, Harvard courses. 

Alisha: Yeah, we take Harvard online. 

Justin: Lots of like biochemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, so...

Audra: That's important to me too, though. I just have to say lifelong learning and being around people who haven't thrown in the towel on learning, you know, like that's sort of like a baseline thing of just, you know, I don't know, being with people or generating friendships. Like if somebody is like, yeah, no, I just do what I do now and I don't learn any more than.

Lucky: Yeah, that's definitely will test the relationship. I think that like learning and just like, you know, there's a, I read an article once about how people stop. Many people stop listening to new music when they're like 50 or something like that or even younger. And I was like, wow, what a lost opportunity that is, you know, because it's like, oh, what are you listening to these days? And I mean, like, there's so much good, great, amazing content out there. I mean, there's no time.

Alisha: You know, I was thinking about that in terms of our home decoration. Like I love our home, the home we're in right now. It's very, we've every, there’s art, from all of our travels, I love our furniture every piece. But, you know, I don't want it to be a time capsule. I like, I think about this life learning because I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't want it to be a time capsule of this time of when we thought everything was ok. Like my mom every three months gets a totally new hairstyle and every six months gets a new chair, like a sheet or a new rug or a new throw pillows for every season. 

Lucky: Are we going to get new furniture? 

Alisha: Maybe. But, I'm saying not settling into who you think works for you.

Justin: I have another analogy for this. I just read a review of studies like last year on muscle mass in older people. And so basically everybody thinks like you just get older and your muscles go, and that's part of aging. But actually, this review of all the studies shows that it’s actually because people stop moving and start doing stuff. And that actually, if you take a muscle cell of an 80-year-old and put it under a microscope, the muscle cell looks the same as a 20-year-old. And so it's really about continuing to work out. And in this review, they had pictures of like 80-year-old bodybuilders and they were huge and buff. And so basically the idea is that—don't stop. Listen to new music, get new haircuts.

Audra: And in the brain, too, you know, and that's how he felt about moving to Savannah, too, was it was almost like doing crossword and Sudoku or whatever to keep fresh. It's like moving to a new place. You move out of routine.

Lucky: Really shakes it up. 

Audra: Right? Shakes it up, right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because then you're like, wait, that favorite cafe is, no, that's not what it is now. Let's find another one. Like, I mean, let's find something else. I think Alisha, I know Alisha is really good at this also because I'm more of a homebody. I guess…

Alisha: I don’t think that's true at all.

Lucky: Alisha's always on the go.

Alisha: You’re an adventure like we're both adventures in unique ways. And I think you're right. Like new experiences are so important, whether, and I think, like as we talked about at the very beginning, it's important to have those internally and externally. You know, whether or what's pushing us, if it's reading new articles and new music or new ways of meditation or new things that are helping us, and also going to have those like new cafes, making new friendships, making…

Audra: Things through our kids. That they're showing us.

Alisha: It all becomes how we can be more whole, I think.

Justin: Ok, I love the fact that I tried to land the plane and then it kind of took off. Ok, so I just want to make sure so listeners can just follow you, find out more, where?

Lucky: Ok, so you can go to LuckyDiazmusic.com. You can go to the luckyband_ on Instagram or Lucky_Diaz at Twitter or I think we have a Facebook too. Lucky Diaz Band.

Alisha: Good job. I'm really bad at these kind of things. I'm mostly on Instagram at AlishaGaddishere and on Facebook. I talk too much and write too long to be on Twitter that successfully.

Lucky: I'm not good at tweeting. I’d be like I'm having a ham sandwich right now.

Alisha: But truly, if you message me on Instagram and it's like a question or thought or, I usually try to message everybody back, I like to, you know, new people.

Lucky: Yeah. Your books are at that Applause Books.

Alisha: Oh, we'll just anywhere books are sold. So you can get our books and our music. And those are all on PBS.

Audra: So that is one of the most beautiful things, is that we are able to participate in the energy you bring to the world, the work that you share with the world, and all of these different ways and with our families, with our kids. It's really cool. Maybe we can do a book reading sometime or something like that. So I'm sort of like…

Alisha: That would be fun.

Justin: All right. So we have three final questions that we ask every single guest. These are just the like, really, really quick, succinct boom. Yeah. Okay. And then you both can choose to answer together or separately. But the first one is if you could put a Post-it note on every parent's refrigerator tomorrow morning, just put it right there. What would that Post-it note say?

Alisha: “I see you. I hear you. You're doing a great job.”

Audra: Thank you. Thank you.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky, do you have anything to add to that?

Lucky: I mean, how can you add to that? 

Justin: All right. So the next one. Do either of you have a quote that you can recall that you've read or heard recently that's really moved you or changed the way you think or feel?

Alisha: I have one. I was surprised it was, it's by Harriet Tubman. But if you think about when you hear the quote that this is what Harriet Tubman was thinking, it's really amazing. She said, “Every great dream starts with a dreamer.” I mean, if Harriet Tubman was dreaming and doing at the same time, imagine what we can all do.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky. Do you have one?

Lucky: I have a quote, but I feel I'm going to misquote part of it. It's an Eddie Van Halen quote. “You got to care so much that it looks like you don't give a shit.” I think it was something like that. So…

Alisha: That's our life motto. In our house. No, it really is.

Lucky: Give a shit like you don't give it. That's what it was. Something like that. You have to look it out. But it's, I'm paraphrasing,

Audra: It just means like unabashedly, like openly. Like you don't give a shit about repercussions or whatever the fear-based things that people throw your way. Like if you say this and this will happen.

Lucky: It's like if you got to care enough that you don't care. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to.

Audra: You don't care about what people think.

Lucky: Well, I think yeah. And I think he had referred to it as his guitar playing. I think it was like, how do you, so great? He's like, well, I cared so much that I didn't care, you know.

Audra: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Lucky: You know what I mean? Like, it's so effortless when you play. You know, when he played, it was like. But it sounds like that. So, yeah.

Justin: Yeah. I like become so passionate and absorbed. Yeah.

Lucky: Right. Exactly. That you don't care. Yeah.

Justin: Beautiful. 

Ok, so the third and final question is and I like to preface it by saying, you know, as parents, we have these times when we might think, oh, you know, the kids like they’re, the house is a mess or a lot of work or, you know, whatever the case is. And so we just like to end with this question, what do you love about kids? 

Audra: We want to celebrate them. So this is that question.

Alisha: I love… something, I guess, I hope to seek in myself that I hope to reflect to myself, I love how they're just they're unabashed, you know, speaking that I care so much, I don't give a shit. They're unabashed joy and emotive feeling. 

I love when they dance. They aren't judging their bodies and their movement. And when they don’t see who's seeing them and they're doing it for the feeling and the music. And I think there's, you know, the profoundness in childhood, the magic of it, and I hope to prolong it. You know, I love, I want to live in that.

Lucky: I think I was going to say something the same. Like I would say that I love their ability to accept magic as magical. They just do. And children, it's only that adults we get corrupted into seeing. And there's also that famous Picasso quote, you know, “Are we all unseeing by the time we are adults?” Children really see. 

I think their ability to accept magic as magical is magic. When you see your kid at Disneyland and it's or another place and it's like what they see is magic because they accept it. And I think we can do that. You know, I can definitely do that more so daily. Right. Like, you know, wait a second. The fact that we're even existing is magic.

 Alisha: And there is magic.

Lucky: I know it is. I agree. I'm only trying to remind myself, like, you know, doing your laundry or washing your dishes or just going through a process of being like the way I can feel like this water's cold on my hands and I feel the water is and I like this whole experience is like, not to get existential, but it's like it's so much we take for granted magic every day. 

Alisha: I mean, we're on a ball spinning in the world, hurtling through space.

Justin: Right, hurtling through space.

Alisha: That’s not magic?!

Audra: I mean, it's mind-bending. And for kids to not have to be loaded with stories around, I mean, they have stories, but like not the stories, the norm stories around everything. And to be able to approach that all with that wonderment and that, those open eyes and what we can experience through them, like you were saying at the beginning, Lucky, through their optics like that is…

Lucky: There's no rules to anything there, like if you were to take it like, oh, you can grow back like you can grow back a limb, ok, I'm going to grow back. And I'm like, it's like nothing like extreme about it. But their ability to accept things that are supernatural or what we consider supernatural, is just natural. So like, you know, we can all stand to learn from that. I mean, I can.

Justin: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for joining us. This is such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to do it again.

Audra: I can't wait as well. I mean, just the joy that comes from being with you, the incredible energy, this magic. But then I just really want to thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and the fact that you are really willing to connect with us today. We haven't talked in a while. 

We've stayed in touch, but haven't had the chance to have a conversation like this. And that you opened up to us and also to our audience of parents really, really means so much to us. I feel like it's going to resonate with so many people. That's really what so many of us are looking for today, are real conversations, you know, where folks are really getting vulnerable about all of the different things in life. You know, what we're going through as parents and as makers and entrepreneurs and all of these different things, it's really, really important to share.

So thank you.

Alisha: Thank you. Thanks for having us to come on and having this chat. I mean, and, you know, like magic. I told Indiana, our daughter, yesterday that time was like a made-up construct. She was asking about time zones. And I was like, I don’t know, time, like, you know, so. You profoundly affected our hearts. So the time is irrelevant when you, seeing your faces and hearing your voices like it's still you have a, you are meaningful to us. And so we're so grateful to share this with you. So thank you.

Lucky: Yeah, definitely the feeling is mutual. What we all do is so important and touches so many lives.

Alisha: And now you know how crazy we really are.

Audra: Likewise. We're in good company. I think we all are in such and such a beautiful way. That's like the human spirit, right? Like it's just awe-inspiring to me. 

Lucky: It's awesome to see your faces as well.

Justin: Hey, thanks for listening to The Family Thrive podcast. If you like what you heard, please subscribe, tell two friends and head on over to Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts and give us a review. We're so grateful you've chosen to join us on this Family Thrive journey.

Transcript highlights


02:36 

Audra: So where are we talking to you from, where are you? Where in the world?

Alisha: Well, right now, we actually just got back from Los Angeles, we’re in our home in the midwest, in Columbus, Indiana.

Audra: Oh, awesome.


04:25 

Audra: So five years ago, you thought, “Let's get a place outside of L.A. and let's be closer to family and just kind of spread out a little bit.”

Alisha: Yeah. Five years ago was like when we had our daughter and she was born in Los Angeles and her name is Indiana. And that was when we found out about her congenital hole in her heart. And I kind of had a panic attack, like just was, you know, freaking out and thought, I can't do this by myself. I want to be closer to family. It was. 

And so we thought we were going to move here full time. And then I've never lived here my life. I wasn't raised here. My parents moved here when I was living in New York. So I don't come back as like knowing people. But so then we came here in the winter and bought this house that wasn't restored at the time. And we were like, what are we doing here? This isn't this is worse than I had imagined. 

So then our goal was to get back to LA but keep this house. And we've juggled it and then we renovated it. And then we also have a rental space that when our back, Lucky totally renovated the garage into being a beautiful studio and in-law suite. So when we're not here, we can rent that out. We like tried to create ways to make it work for our family. So that way now we kind of get best of both worlds.


07:15 

Lucky: I think we have equality in our relationship that speaks to extending that to our daughter, I guess. And I think that's I guess our location jumping speaks to that, because, you know, I really feel that it's important to honor both of our heritages in our kids. And so there's a real culture that Alisha comes from that I think is very important. And there's a culture that I come from, so we're both very...

Alisha: And they don't exist in the same place. 

Lucky: They don't exist in this house.

Audra: I feel that.

Justin: I love this. And I'm sensing that to the home in Indiana and the home in Los Angeles is really the manifestation of a theme in your lives and in your work. That is, there's is this like entertainment, you know, artistic side. See, that is the LA. And then it's like about kids and about family and about, you know, like home. And so you have the Indiana part and the. Yeah, it seems perfect for you.


17:27 

Audra: Sorry. I'm just so curious about the bubble and all of that. And before we get into Justin's questions, which are awesome, And your background and how you met and all these great things. I do want to just check in on Indiana. You mentioned that she has a congenital heart, a hole in her heart. It's a congenital effect, if you will. What, how’s she doing?

Alisha: Thanks for asking, and she's doing great, I mean, great as a like, you know, hitting all the physical markers that she should. You know, it was interesting. She just entered kindergarten. And I mean, talk about the anxiety and the stress.

Audra: Oh, yeah. 

Alisha: I mean, we just didn't know what to do. So we ended up putting her in a small Montessori school, because at the moment it's Covid guidelines.

Audra: Yes. 

Alisha: Yeah. Literally I was like...

Lucky: And they had the smallest population.

Alisha: The smallest population, wonderful, wonderful teachers. 

Lucky: It has a lot of things going for it. 

Alisha: It’s outside. Like, it was like checking the most boxes.

Lucky: I mean, I'm a product of that as a young child.

Alisha: My parents are public school teachers. So it took a lot. My mom was a public school kindergarten teacher for 35 years. 

Audra: Wow. 

Alisha: Yeah, amazing. And my friends are all kindergarten teachers. Like literally they're all teachers in the public school. So anywho I digress. 

But part of it was before we went, that was before we came here. We had to go to her biannual cardiology appointment. And she was supposed to have heart surgery before entering kindergarten. And so it was just like I mean, my tendency when we go to intense doctor's appointments is I start blacking out and like I can't process information. So we've come up with and it was only one person at a time can go into these big things because of Covid. And usually he like, I deal with her and he kind of processes what's being told to us. And this time he couldn't come in. 

So I had to FaceTime the doctor and be like, here, talk just to my husband while I look at all the heart monitors in the dark room. And previously, she had they had there was like a flap of skin that looked like it was kind of like just, kind of flapping over the hole. And it wasn't there this time, which was a huge let down. And there's nothing you can do about that. 

But at the same time, he was like, let's hold off on the heart surgery because she's doing fine. She can literally live with this up until a certain point, and then she may experience all these horrible things. But if she's not at this moment, then it's ok. And she's very aware of her condition. She knows, mask-wearing has been trickier because she has a problem processing oxygen so she can't get enough. It's like her heart works double to get the oxygen. 

Audra: Right. 

Alisha: So it's like intense mask wearers and he hears a lot. And we have her wear a mask outside. So it's a lot when she goes to school and it was 106 and she has a mask on. And so it’s a lot to process. But she knows, she knows what to do. She knows to like hopefully. 

So that's you know, as a mom and dad, I can't speak for you, but I will. But as like a dad, parents letting her off and to not being able to be like, take your mask off, go to the side, take your drink of water, breathe, because she gets, you know. So you have to kind of prep the teachers. And her teachers have been amazing. But she's doing well, like psychologically, she's doing super well physically. I mean, we couldn't ask for more, really. 


24:07 

Justin: All right, so between you both, you have produced over a dozen records, a television show, several books, have won multiple Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards, a Parent's Choice Gold Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, a National Parenting Product Award. And I just want to like, you guys are a big deal. So am I missing anything?

Audra: And the Grammy is also Latin Grammy, right? Like, many, I feel like it was this was more than once. 

Justin: I said awards, plural. 

Audra: This is an incredible list, you two. What did we miss?

Justin: Well, oh, you know, what's coming up for me right away is I have heard that for artists, performers who, you know, achieve the awards, you know, they get this recognition that they can still have a sense of like, “Oh, my God, what's the next thing?” And so is this for you? Like, do you experience that?

Lucky: I just talked about this this morning. That’s our morning conversation.

Alisha: Every morning we're like, we're doing this like…

Justin: Oh, my gosh, that's what I've heard. And so you like you get the awards, like you get the gold star.

Audra: You're some of the most accomplished human beings on this earth. 

Justin: Like you're doing great and then, you know, you wake up the next day and like, ok, what's the next thing?

Audra: It’s not enough.

Alisha: Yeah. I mean… Yes.

Lucky: It's very hard but what you said is 100 percent.

Alisha: And it's hard when you put out things and then they're done, you know, and it's hard to know what the next goal is. And it's you know, it sounds like, wahhh wahhh. But it's like when you accomplish these huge things that you wanted. We're both trying to be like, what is it now that we really do actually? 

What do we want to do, in like our souls and hearts, coupled with like the doubt and the fear and the self-loathing that is in our heads as artists. And we both share that. So it's like thankfully often it's not at the same time. So, yeah.

Justin: So you take turns. Oh, yes. 

Audra: You coach each other. 

Lucky: I think that it's overwhelming. That feeling is overwhelming and creating things. And then sometimes you just don't. I think we all get, me personally. I could only speak for myself in the sense that the reason I make things is because I've always thought it was just so much fun. I've always found so much fulfillment out of creating things. And I feel that it's part of one of life's gifts to be able to have an ability just to create stuff. 

And for a long time, I just thought everybody created things instantly. And I think I was like a teenager or something and, or maybe in college. And I was talking to someone about even writing a song or, you know, if you asked me to write a song about like Mayo and tomato, like, yeah, sure I can do that. I can literally do that. Right. And I was talking to this person and they were like, “Oh, like I could never, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to start with that.” Right. And then it occurred to me that not everyone is like everyone has special abilities, but not everyone has the same ability. And then those abilities are then like in different levels of like depending on how much effort you give them either. 

But I thought like it's a benefit and a detriment to want and have this, right, because like, you know, in your heart, you want to keep making things. And then it's so sometimes such a struggle to make things. And then when you get like this, these huge validations that are like, you're so great at making them, and then you're like, oh, but I'm a fraud because that stuff isn't as good as you think it is. And so like every day, it's like it's a real struggle, I think that sees it...

Alisha: And we're different in that way. He has a very much like we talk about like imposter syndrome.

Audra: Oh, that's what I was just thinking, like creative imposter syndrome or whatever. 

Alisha: Mine's more of like a perfectionist tendency and wanting to just like produce more, better, faster, in a more profound way. Like, hey, you're...

Lucky: Yeah, you're really. Yeah, that's...

Alisha: Like, you like to produce things and then doubt it immediately or like get an award and it's like not good enough. And I'm like, ok, I got this. I have to do better. Very like, I have to make another goal, like quickly. 

Audra: I identify with you, Alisha, for sure. And I think Justin's more on the side of the nagging imposter syndrome, like checking out your work.

Justin:  Actually, I feel like what you both said, like I feel like the above. I feel very doubtful and like an imposter. And I need to produce a bunch more. And I know...

Lucky: Yeah, well, yeah. And you always and you're always like thinking, wow, I have to like, make more. And I think I could work breakfast today. Usually on weekends we do like a brunch, right? We'll do like a family brunch. We all sit down and we have it. That's not to say we don't do it during the week now, but...

Alisha: We usually go to the farmer's market on Saturday, buy all fresh things, and then Lucky and Indiana make a big breakfast.

Audra: Ohhh. Great. 

Lucky: … I am having a dialogue with myself about like, well, maybe I just need to stop making things, maybe just for a second to get myself permission to just break. And I think that a good lesson for creatives that I'm only learning myself is that just because you feel like you achieved this one thing and then like it's done like you're so set, you're going to wake up every day and you're like, well…

Alisha: The world’s gonna be different. 

Lucky: Just like I did this thing and everyone thought it was cool and everything's great. And I know like and I literally told Alisha two days ago, like, “Am I like any good at this? Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.” Like that's a real conversation we're having on the porch as we're sitting, watching, like people walk their dog. 

Alisha: I’m like “You ask me this every day.” That was my answer. He asked me every day, like. Yes, you’re amazing.

Lucky: Yeah. And I mean, I think there's like aspects of like, you know, I'm like, “Oh, well, maybe my studio needs this thing, this microphone or this amplifier, this thing to really make me better, right? Or maybe I'm going to find inspiration in that.” And sometimes, most often I do. I find a little bit of, like a little salt and that'll be like, oh, this little flavor there.

Alisha: That’s important though.

Lucky: And that ignites it, right? Because the gear or the guitars or the stuff for me isn't about the stuff or accumulating it. It's about the inspiration that it brings in the story that it also brings with it, right? Like, who owned this? Like what did they make with this thing? Is it going to give me the permission to make something now? Right. And I think that like but also that's a slippery, dangerous slope, because then you find yourself with like, well, I have this stuff and I still haven't created anything like…

Alisha: Well, that's because you've made something internal external. Right? So like what Lucky’s describing is taking his anxiety and self-doubt manifestations, putting it looking for outward change and not dealing with the voice in his head.

Audra: Oh, that’s powerful…

Justin: Ok, now… I was going to talk about this stuff or find a way to talk about later on, but like this is. Yeah. So this feels like there's a lot of room here for doing some serious inner work. And one thing that I've learned as a parent is that the more inner work that I do, therapy, different... 

Audra: Emotional processing. 

Justin: Yeah. Processing practices and relationship skills and all the stuff, the more work I do on this, the more I can show up for my partner, for my kids. And, but then for you, there's this added thing of like the more you show up in your creativity, in your work. And so I'm curious, like what sort of. I'm not sure exactly the right word to use here. Modalities, therapies, self-work.

Audra: Is there anything that works for you? Was there anything that helps? 

Justin: Yeah. 

Alisha: Oh, my gosh, you all. I have tried everything during this pandemic because I think some of our ways of dealing with things were intake, which were new experience, travel, those kind of things that then we can internalize. But when you're taken, when you're quarantined in a pandemic, you have to take a real good look at yourself and your partner, like what you're saying. And looking about, I have always been big proponents of therapy, and it's been very hard to get a new therapist in this climate. Therapists are booked to the closet.

Audra: Oh, yeah...

Alisha: All my friends who are therapists, all my friends were trying to go to therapists. I mean, everyone is booked. I personally, a big proponent, we both are of journaling every day. We talk a lot. I do a meditation almost every day. I have like, I'm talking crystal, tarot.

Justin: Oh, love it.

Alisha: Breathing workshops. Anything that you can do to center yourself or stoppings. I'm talking like tea at night, wine at night. 

Justin: Wine in the morning.


36:49 

Justin: You're the one who is going to look for different therapeutic approaches. So you mentioned all these different things. So I just have a curiosity. What right now is like really working for you or like what right now seems to be really important?

Alisha: Well, it's 140. Ok, this is like 140. Today's the day I got to sleep in. This morning, I woke up last night. I set my crystals out. This is like last night I set my crystals out for some moonlight energy. I lit candles for release and gratefulness, meditated before I went to bed to “Let's Heal the Shit” by Emily Churchhill. A free thing to do. Then I listen to more, another meditation on Calm and read a mindful magazine with a cup of tea. I woke up this morning. I journaled in bed while cuddling my daughter and dog, and he brought coffee. I then did a tarot card and got up and listened to the music. We listened to Django Reinhardt and danced a little bit. This was like before, like those are the things I do with it in like every like, that's just like a snippet. 

So when I say I'm desperately searching for ways to quell my anxiety because I get not just panic attacks, full-on panic, panic attacks isn’t the right word, anxiety attacks. What's the one that's worse, where you have like total mental breakdowns and like can't breathe?

Audra: Panic attack.

Alisha: Hyperventilating… 

Justin: Yeah, I think so. Panic attacks for sure.

Lucky: That only happens very suddenly though.

Alisha: Yeah, exactly. Like the anxiety and like crying. Like very cathartic. Like I try to let myself feel all this great, you know, because, you know, we cry, cry and journal it. And then, but I have to, I have to stay on top of my anxiety, especially in these times, because I think one of my strengths is controlling things. Lists making, control like I control our, like I'm very organized and very…

Lucky: Yeah, Alisha does all our finances, all, anything that requires smart brains. There's an art.

Alisha: Well, it's an odd thing because I'm a creative, but with a real organized…

Justin: Well, that's the Midwestern part of you right?

Alisha: Yeah, I think so. But in order because there's so many variables right now that I can't change, like yesterday we had this trip planned, that was the redo for my birthday party because of Covid. And now we're not going to take this trip because it's going to be another Covid birthday. And that's these small things that are adding up, that feel like they're breaking me. Like they're like I just feel a heaviness. So I have to be proactive so that I can be, like you said Justin, a present mindful parent.

Lucky: But I think, just from observing Alisha, though, I have to say that I think the number one thing that Alisha does in order for me to, I think as a therapeutic device is talking. Alisha, loves…
Audra: It's so good. 

Justin: It's therapeutic. Yes, it's as you said before, it is bringing what's inside outside. Your processing…

Lucky: And she's so good at it.

Alisha: With our daughter, I process.

Lucky: Processing. That's it, Justin. That's it. That's number one. Right. So it's kind of like, you know, oh, I like I, I like...

Alisha: I reach out to community and process there. I have an amazing support group and other moms and different this mom group. I'm in the pile and they're amazing. And then, but processing with Lucky and processing with our daughter.

Lucky: It's a lot of talking.

Alisha: It’s a lot of talking. 

Lucky: Our eldest daughter is like, I don't... 

Alisha: When she was little. She was like...

Lucky: She was like, I don't want to talk about anything else. And I mean, I think that it's important, though, because, you know, Alisha is really good at identifying like problems, like let's say like, you know, I burn something and I'm like, you know, freak out in the kitchen like, “Oh, man, that was expensive cheese.” And, you know, it's all like, you know what I mean?

Alisha: My new phrase to him is, I say, “Is that a proper emotional response? Let's just take a pause.”

Lucky: You know, it’s not about burning the cheese. It's not about the way you know, that's…

Justin: Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, because the proper emotional, like my response would be like, well, it's my emotional response and it's my emotional truth. Alright, let me stress out about it. But your deeper question is right. Like this isn't about the cheese Lucky. Like, what is this really about? Yeah. Right.

Alisha: Right. So if you said like this is my response, like I would be like, that's valid like that. That is valid that you're having that anger.

Lucky: And unfortunately, I have a lot of like maybe my old man in me that's more like old school, like, you know, you know, rub some dirt on it, you know what I mean? Kind of vibe.

Justin: Well, that's what happens. So that's what I've learned, because practically every boy, at least in America, is raised to repress, you know, like stop the crying. Keep it out. Control, control, control. Yeah. And so I this I don't remember who said this, but yeah, what is not expressed gets repressed. And I feel like that's exactly like men now. They grow up in their like they've repressed all this stuff for their whole life. And then it comes out in explosions. It's like, why did dad just lose his shit like that?


47:55 

Audra: It sounds like to me you both are incredibly self-aware and incredibly open with each other. I'm really just taking it all in. I think it's beautiful. Yeah, it's just really, really beautiful. 

How open you are and how does this translate your processing of your childhoods, of that expression, of for Lucky for you, your inner child maybe getting to express himself in a way that he never could as a child. Right. How your Midwest upbringing in these very pragmatic ways, but then your, for Alisha going to LA and being able to express yourself as an artist and then digging into your inner work and digging in to support yourself. All of the realizations you had around all of this, how has that affected you both as parents? And you have an age spread, too. So I'd love to hear like affected you as parents, like with kids at very different ages.

Alisha: Wow, that’s a lot of thoughts.

Lucky: I think at the end of the day, like for Alisha and I both like, you know, I think we want to lead as examples for our kids to know that being who they are is what's most important, truly. Right. So. And I joke about this, and I just heard this a million times, but, you know, if our daughter wants to be, or any of our girls, if they want to be an electrician, well, then and they love electricity and they love being electrician. I want them to be the like the most passionate electrician ever did ever to live. 

Whatever their passions are. That's really what I want for them. I feel like that's what we as parents are able to provide. Giving them the awareness and permission to just be themselves. Right. And I think that there's always this very linear kind of path and, you know, North American like parenting and success or whatever that looks like. You know, it's like, oh, you're going to go to college and you're going to do this and you're going to get a good job. 

Audra: And then and then. Right.

Lucky: But the problem with that is we all know is that it's a never-ending cycle. And then people find themselves like around our age or my age and being like, what did I do with my whole life? You know, like what, right?

Audra: Trying to find themselves. Right.

Lucky: So I think it's like for us and for me, I think like trying to just set an example of being like, hey, you can create whatever life you want, just as long as you're finding joy and hopefully providing joy for other people or your community, that I think it's a win. Right? It's a success, you know, and finding whatever it is that they're great at or impassioned about, that's the path I think that, I think in this lesson. 

You know, Alisha and I have faced many obstacles and I've had many opportunities, but I also feel that there is a certain kind of courage that we both have, like had to give to one another and to each have within ourselves to do it. So like, you know, there's been many times where I'm like, “I can't go on.” Alisha's like, “you got to keep going.” And then Alisha’s like, “I can't go on.” I'm like, “you got to keep going.” 

And it's like because at the end of day, you know, like I always used this idea, like, you know, I always wanted to go to Tokyo. Right. And so Alisha and I were like, I don't remember what year it was, but we were living in those fields in Los Angeles. And I was, you know, still she had just kind of started going back to her other family's house to spend some time. And I remember waking up one day thinking like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Tokyo and I was, I've been waiting for an opportunity for like life to be like, hey, you're going to go to Japan. Right. 

And it just hadn't showed up yet. I'm like, how much room I got on this credit card. I was just thinking, literally, I was like, how much room I got on that. Ok, cool. I'm going to go on Delta.com. What if I had tickets to go and I'm going to try to figure out like when we can go for how long. Because my thought, like you're never going to remember the money it didn't have. But I can tell you what it felt like to see Japan, just the coast of Japan as you're flying into Japan. And what we had for dinner that very first night, I can oh, I can tell you that I think that that's how I want to live life. And just even having this conversation reminds me. Yes, yes, yes. Keep going down this route because you're not going to, because you know who's going to remember. And I can't tell you how much money we didn't have. I can't tell you any of those things. But I can tell you that it was something that was so meaningful. 

And I know it's, I'm not trying to be hedonistic. And I know that you both can speak to this in ways that I can't imagine where it's like this is this. It is this. This is the moment. Right. So let's make something happen. And if you don't, then you may regret it. Just do this, right? Just honor it. Honor this moment. Honor this relationship. Honor this family. Honor this existence. Because, you know, so often in the last, like especially the last 20 months, we've lost a lot of friends. Like lost. They're gone now. And so it's kind of like this is all we got right now, that I can speak to. But if you can lead by example for our own kids anyways, I think that that's the best thing to do, and our daughters have really benefited from that kind of thought.

Audra: It sounds like I mean, it sounds like a real powerful perspective on, to me, an abundance mindset and not taking things for granted in life like. Really, really focusing on trying to be present and treasuring our time together and treasuring our relationships and our family like some of the most powerful things that we can do together with our time on this earth. Right.


55:56 

Alisha: So I'm trying to learn as a parent that my way isn't the way for her, which we you know, I was younger when I was parenting Ella, and coming in as a step-parent. So I didn't get the chance to fully use all the tactics I had and am able to now. But I think like with Indiana, you know, it's just an interesting, it's interesting when you notice your kids are different than you and they're teaching you and you're trying to gather with passion, with grace.

Audra: That's a powerful observation. And I think something that is amazing that you're honoring in your children and so beautiful. Like that's something that has been a real revelation to me as well. 

And I look at my kids instead of as mini me’s, which is kind of how I thought I was going to think when we had kids, you know, like there are going to be like some, you know, equation of us. Right. And then to see you are your own human being, like this is mind-blowing. Right. And so beautiful. And it's for me to work on kind of myself and my reactions and my issues and the things that I bring to this so that I can support you in being you.

Alisha: Yes. And speaking to that, it's like, you know, some of the things we were taught as kids that what are, what we're bringing into it that we think is right. One of the things that I try to do a lot is I'll start I'll start saying something like she'll be doing something, say, jumping on our couch. And I was absolutely not allowed to jump on a couch. And I and this was maybe last year I started to say, “stop jumping on the couch.” And then I'm like, wait, do I actually feel that way? Do I? Pause. Pause. Why am I telling her to stop?

Lucky: Only you can do this. I mean, it's amazing.

Audra: Getting curious about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. In the moment, creating the truth of what our familial dynamic is. Like, I know she's not going to go to somebody else's house and jump on a couch. I know she can go to the Louvre and not touch a statue or run. I know. I know who my child is. So she wants to jump on a couch and not knock something down, like what? Like, I don't. It's ok.And I bring that up is like a micro thing to a macro situation of who we are and also being open to evolving to what we really want to be in our relationships. Right. Like learning from each other. So I'm trying. I have no idea.

Justin: So I've heard a lot of or what I'm hearing is how your art and your work has affected your parenting and the lessons that you're taking into parenting. And I'm wondering if there's anything moving the other way of like parenting affecting art. And what has that been like?

Lucky: I mean, I think that it's a profound experience to be a parent, because I always think that you get optics from your children that you didn't have before. 

You know, and I remember like Indiana being small and just looking, she's like look at, look at the, we were on a walk just her and I and she's like, look at the trees, look at and she has this like what kind of magic she has this magic that Alisha has, that she's able to see things in different ways. And not that I don't just see a tree, but she's looking up. And I thought to myself, we'd been on this walk, you know, a dozen times or something, right, in that month and I had not even looked up. And I nodded and taken the opportunity to actually see what was happening from our own perspective. And I was like, whoa, this is really cool. Wow. This is really beautiful. 

This is the way she sees the world. I didn't see that. And I think it's been a huge gift for me to be able to see things through her optics, through her eyes, literally and figuratively, because she's also she comes up with like all these amazing ideas and all that similar things. And it's kind of like, whoa, like I never really thought about that. But it opens up these opportunities. 

And Alisha is a little, she's better at being there for that, being present anyways. And so, like my daily struggle is being more aware and present in that but it also gives me the ability of the show. I had mentioned earlier just to play. I love playing. I love making up things. You know, if we even, if we were adults without any children, imagine it like, ok, for the next 10 minutes, you're going to take figurines and you're going to make a dialog. Right. 

And people were like, this is insane. That's crazy. How much better would we all be if we had that opportunity just to play with figurines, right. And just be right and just have that dramatic therapy of just being like, I had a bad day at work, man, I'm going to eat your face off, you know, like, you know, just even working through that.

Audra: Oh, it's such a good point. Such a good point. That's authentic relating.


1:07:21 

Lucky: I mean, I've seen my parents maybe in that way, but I know for a fact that my girls have seen me in like ways that's like, wow, that's really who you are. And that is like that kind of gift is profound because it's like this is who I am. I think like, you know, Micah and I know you know who a player is who illustrates a lot of our projects and stuff. 

And Micah and I were always talking about as fathers, like leaving something to our kids. Right. What's the legacy that we're leaving? And I think that that's part of the game, too, for us, is just having this legacy left, right, of like honesty and bravery and and just total, just I don't know, just transparency in the sense that like I know my dad, like I know that my girls can be like I know my dad, I know who he is. And I think that that's such a rare opportunity, you know, because we're also protecting ourselves, too, right. And there's a vulnerability that… 

Alisha: I think you hit on something of like parents and talking about parenting and what we want to give to our kids, letting our kids see us be vulnerable. Like the other day, I was crying because I was like I mentioned, I had this peak of like it was all too much again, you know, sending her to for saying in Indiana. 

So she hugged me and she kind of started laughing. She was like, “Are you crying for real mama or are you...?” And I said, “no, I'm crying because I'm feeling my big feelings right now and I'm going to move through them and it'll be ok. But I'm feeling really sad right now, and that's ok.” Then it was ok. Then we played again. Right. But like, I think letting your kids see your passion, like your true passion, unbridled passion. 

Like you said, our kids see us like live in these huge ways and huge stages for a lot of people. But then they see us in our own home with that same passion that's just for them and that same vulnerability that we can share collectively. And I think that you're right, that also shapes their emotional landscape, something I hope our daughter carries forward.

 Audra: Sharing your true joys and pain, processing your emotions together, sharing in your art, your creativity, your energetic work, all of that stuff. It's so counter to how so many of us were raised, which was in a performance, a performance of parenting. What are you supposed to do as a parent? I'm supposed to do what my parents did. There's a role, right? Just a role is not who we thought about, who we really are. And I think that we are seeing parenting together. And I don’t speak for all of us. But it sounds like we're seeing parenting in a different way.

Lucky: I would agree. I think generationally it's different for sure. And I think that the conversations as like fathers, like I again, I mentioned Micah because he's a creative partner and a man that I work with and have these conversations with about what that's like being of this time and another time that didn't exist and being a product of another time and going into another time. Right. And evolving together and the evolution of what that looks like and yeah, for sure. 

And then and then trying to figure out what fathering means, what parenting means out being a man is supposed to look like to you know, and I think that like hanging up, like it's an everyday process of being like, wait, you know, ok, so what? It's like what are gender roles like? Oh, I didn't mean to be like that about it. Like, you know, I you know, I recently said and I really regret it, like, you know, I just felt really badly about it. Like we had some friends over and they have two boys. And I was like, oh, and they were like creating a ruckus or something. I'm like, oh, they're just boys, you know, they're just being boys or whatever it was. It was a passing statement because it was the energy. It was just not it was, it was not thought through. Right. 

And I felt really badly about it. But these are the kinds of events like situations and experiences that I think dads and people, men of this generation or my generation are experiencing. Right. Because it's so ingrained about like I don't have any, you know, Alisha, I don't have any gender, you know, assignments to anything. Right. Whether they're colors. And in fact, we're always fighting against gender norms. But I think I always have those conversations of being you know, that's like saying like, hey, guys, how you doing, guys?

Audra: I'm unlearning that hardcore.

Justin: I think we're all of the generation. We grew up like kids. Like “guys.” “What's up, guys?” Oh, so right. As a college instructor it's, over the past several years has been so difficult because all it just slips out. 

Lucky: It does, and that's…

Justin: Guys, can you check out this? And then. So the last year, I just made a point. I was like, I'm just going to apologize every time I do that, and I'm going to continue and I'll try to do better.

Alisha: But that's a credible evolution, like the fact that these you know, it's the unlearning. And I think that's the, I think even letting people see that we acknowledge that we are unlearning by new learning. Because I'll do the same thing is as you all, I'll be like, oh, I'm I'm really sorry. I'm going to restart like, hey, all I know that sounds stupid. I'm trying not to say this. And even like letting our children see that, too. 

Audra: Absolutely. 

Alisha: That's a big deal. Like Indiana came back from her second day of kindergarten and she was a little bit upset. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know how to address it. She said Indiana or she said, “Mama, like there's a boys bathroom and a girl's bathroom and there's not a them bathroom.” And this is something I speak to her a lot about, like she'll be well, she'll say, oh, they're that and then let's not assign them pronouns, you know, unless we know. Unless like because we have a lot of friends who are children, who are they/them and because that's the world. And for the first time, I was taken aback about what my answer should be, because I didn't expect that to be like the thing she took from kindergarten day two. Right. 

I was like, well, you know…I like she'd asked me this real hurtful thing that was valid, like I've said. And this I think I said something. I bumbled through it and I said, you know, someone, “one of your friends or you or someone needs to, comes up and it doesn't feel comfortable going into either the bathrooms. Let them know that we are safe people to talk to.” And I asked her if she went to the school requesting the gender neutral bathroom, and she was like, no, it's ok for now. I just really didn't know why they made that choice. And then she turned around. 

Audra: Were you so proud of her?



1:23:12 

Alisha: Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like we're trying consciously and subconsciously in our house. I can't speak for the world, but when we create art, we are very mindful, almost kind of too mindful. Sometimes we can't. But the outcome is positive.



1:27:28 

Justin: We don't want to use up your entire day, and so I kind of...

Audra: I know we could.

Justin: So I would love to have you back on and we could talk more about this. But as we sort of land this plane, I just want to be sure to ask. We've heard about books. You have a new, you have at least one new... Can you just give us a lay of the land? What is out right now and where can listeners find out more about you?

Lucky: We have a new album that came out June.

Alisha: I don't even know what day it is.

 Lucky: It's called Crayon Kids, and it's available where all music is streaming. 

Justin: Yes, it's fantastic. I mean, it's so great.

Alisha: It is relevant, it’s powerful. 

Justin: So I just wanted to ask about Generation C. So, I mean, the album starts. It's such an amazing song because it, I’ve listened to it now a bunch of times because it's like, how does this song make me feel so sad and happy at the same time? And so I just wanted to ask you about writing this song that feels really emotionally complex.

Lucky: It's a really great question. So basically, it's the last song that we wrote for that EP, that album. The project started out as like three songs, and then it turned into nine songs. 

My writing partner in it, Michael Farkas, who I wrote it with, and Kenny Siegel, who's the other writer on that particular song, it’s the only song on our album that has all three of us writing together. 

Because some of them I kind of write by myself, but ultimately Michael and I split the writing credit and then, you know, like I'll pass something through Alisha where she's like, “Oh, I like this, I like that there, move that there.” So she's like really involved in that process. But in that song, like Kenny had sent a text message and he's like, “Oh, you guys like I'm seeing all these songs, we need like a song.” 

He's got this like, he's like a real New York guy. “I guess I, you know, doonas. I feel it's really that song, put with the whole thing together, you know, like it’s strong.” And so he's like, “yeah, we got to write something about a Generation C. See, you know, have you heard about this?” And I was like, “I hadn't heard about it.” And I'm like, “what is this?” And he's like, you know, and so we're talking having this dialogue as dads, as fathers. And then also talking about what our kids are going through. And then I'm like talking to Alisha. Michael's talking to his wife and partner…

Alisha: Who's my best friend.

Justin: Oh, perfect. Perfect. 

Lucky: Yeah. So my writing partner is Alisha's best friends husband from college. 

Alisha: My roommate from college, who's a therapist. And our husbands now are creative writing partners.

Justin: So cool. That's awesome.

Lucky: So we are very, we have a very tight relationship, Michael and I. And I just kind of thought like, and I had written this little thing and Kenny's like this really big deal producer. He works with like Langhorne Slim and, you know, Sean Lennon and all these like really important people. And I'm like, oh. And he's like, yeah, you got to go write this thing. You call me tomorrow with a song and I'm like, Oh, my god. Can't talk right now because I want to show up. You know, I don't want to be like, okay, I don't know, Kenny. I was like, so I'm like, you know, like go in my room, like toiling away, trying to come up with something and so I got this little thing. And I said and I start kind of just we start kind of text messaging it back and forth.

Alisha: And Michael.

Lucky: And Michael, Michael and I, and Kenny is like, “this is great, you know!” So that we like kind of, and I just and it's all pulled from real life experiences, like it felt that. Yeah, you know, like the first lines that “there's a life that happened yesterday, I don't remember much, but I know that I can play outside.” Right. That's all I know about it, because our kids have such a short, at least our young children don't have a memory that's that long. 

Justin: And then like, yeah, shortly after that it was like in the song I remember like canceled birthday parties. It was like the first part was like, oh yeah.

Lucky: Right. And so like and then, you know, I just love pop music. So I think my most favorite song is like, Weezer has a new song called like All My Favorite Songs Make Me Sad. 

And so, like all my favorite songs make me sad.

Alisha: Oh god, they're the worst.

Lucky: It's like they give me the moany, groanys. I mean it's, I want to listen to like, you know, the Pixies or the Cure or something. You know, R.E.M.

Audra: Totally.

Justin: But at the same time, this song is really joyful, too. I mean, it's kind of owning this identity and then also owning all the things that, some of the joyful parts like I can still play outside, you know.

Lucky: Yeah. And I think that that's the hope in it, right. Like is just the hope that we all have to have to keep going. And I think that that's what's really represented there in the sense that I don't know how this will identify with our children. I don't know how this time will impact our kids. 

But I know it'll be a monumental time, you know. Like I didn't, wasn't alive during World War II. But I know that so many things were shaped out of the depression and people like I mean, you know what I mean? And as a kid, I was fascinated by WWII history. And so as an adult, I'm fascinated with, you know, everything that happened during the war. But I think at this time we'll have some kind of and a very disposable instant culture we live in. This will have long-lasting repercussions. So it'll remain to be seen how you know, it'll you know…

Alisha: It's interesting. A lot of, you know, Lucky’s book came out like he mentions, and there were creative projects that came out of, you know, obviously of the pandemic like that. And then for me, I voiced a puppet cartoon-type thing on PBS during this time. It's called Pandemic Playhouse.

Audra: It was so incredible.

Alisha: Yeay! So we did all that, Like we had to record, you know, in our little home studio. And there were a lot of difficulties, but it was a really great project. And now it's available on all PBS platforms. I play Facty, which is typecasting, I think; who is like obsessed with actual facts and making sure that everybody knows them.

Justin: That felt true for you.

Alisha: Yeah. I was literally like, I don't need to study this character, like that was really fun to do. I love doing voiceover work. And I, you know, we stayed very busy. 

But personally, I was able to pivot back to writing more intentionally. So my writing partner and I make sort low optioned a movie to Four Leaf Productions. It's an untitled wedding movie. It has a title, but I can't say it. So we optioned a movie and we've been through like three drafts to the producers and hopefully we’re done. And then it'll be out.

Audra: Wow. Is it a comedy?

Alisha: It is. It's a rom-com. It's really funny. I mean, it is really funny. I love it. And I've written like another sitcom and have it with another production company and two shows I wrote for Hallmark. So...

Lucky: She's so busy that like I just feel like ashamed if I'm not doing that. 

Audra: But I hear this. It's quite a list. I mean, this is quite an incredible, you know, pandemic list of things you've been working on. It sounds like you've been going back to your comedic roots.

Alisha: Yeah, I think it's like it's been an opportunity, I mean, I went to New York University, Tisch School of the Arts for acting. So I was like, I got to spend time, you know, on the Sydney Opera House and on Broadway and on television. And then when I met Lucky, like this weird thing happened with kids music. And I loved performing. And then that's why I love the television show most, I guess, in the live shows, whereas I kind of work as the producer of things, as we all know, like now that I'm crazy organized. I don't have a songwriting music background except as a singer. 

So, you know, and I've always when I met him, I was touring as a standup comic. And that's how we met. He saw me on stage at the Comedy Store and stalked me. But it worked out. But, you know, and while I was writing, you know, monologue books and acting. But now it's kind of like my writing partner, Meg and I actually met before Lucky and I met. We've been doing comedy together, live, for about 15 years. 

And it kind of, you know, you hope, I always wanted and hoped and prayed for a writing partner that like Meg and I didn't know we didn't know that we were sitting right in front of each other and something happened where an opportunity came up and someone said, does someone have a pitch for a Christmas movie for this star? The celebrity wants to pitch this movie, and here's what the movie's about. And I said, oh, I do. I had nothing. Like, I literally had nothing. That’s how I do all my, I mean, all of them. I was like, yep, I definitely do that. Like, I just, we almost sold a show to this like other network. And it, because I was like, yep, I've got that, calling all the… And so I called Meg in, because Meg is, was, has been writing. She's more. She has more. She has a lot of accolades. She's won a lot of awards. She's written a lot. She was already a screenplay writer. And I called her and said, do you want to write this pitch with me? And we it's going to be presented with all these. And they're pitches like you send the pitches in and then the person picks like, you know, 50, 100 pitches, the one they want to go forward to script. 

And so we worked and we met with the producers in the thing and they picked our pitch. And then from this was like three years, two and a half years ago. And since then, we've like been kind of, I mean, methodically, diligent and unstoppable. I mean, we just keep, we show up, we keep cranking it out. And I'm talking when I say show up during the pandemic with Indiana,not at school. And he was working in other rooms. Indiana was sitting next to me. Our puppy would be on top of me barking and it would be my coffee was sliding off the bed because I didn't have a desk. I was using a desk on my bed, you know like those collapsible...

Audra: Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Right. Right. A tray.

Alisha: Yeah. He was at the desk, recording the new album and working on his book. And so I had the bed desk. And then it's like my computer stopped working, an external mouse. There's like neighbors upstairs in the apartment in L.A. I mean, it was like the worst working conditions, but it's like eventually you have something, right? Eventually if you show up and go to your practice, whatever…

Audra: Persist.

Alisha: Yeah.

Lucky: Yeah. Alisha definitely puts that ten thousand hours to test.

Alisha: So I'll have something like some movie you'll see when it's like that. In a very short time I've pivoted in a very hard direct— and I'm, like I said, I love classes and workshops. So I also will sign up at night time for classes like actual classes with teachers. And I've been studying again, like it's like my Masters and just like do the homework, a little bit in screenwriting classes and television writing classes, because I'm like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to my top potential.

Lucky: I think that's the thing. Like classes are super important to both of us. So we'll take lessons. I mean, I still take guitar lessons.

Audra: Lifelong learning, it sounds like. 

Lucky: Yeah, I was thinking like. Yeah, Harvard courses. 

Alisha: Yeah, we take Harvard online. 

Justin: Lots of like biochemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, so...

Audra: That's important to me too, though. I just have to say lifelong learning and being around people who haven't thrown in the towel on learning, you know, like that's sort of like a baseline thing of just, you know, I don't know, being with people or generating friendships. Like if somebody is like, yeah, no, I just do what I do now and I don't learn any more than.

Lucky: Yeah, that's definitely will test the relationship. I think that like learning and just like, you know, there's a, I read an article once about how people stop. Many people stop listening to new music when they're like 50 or something like that or even younger. And I was like, wow, what a lost opportunity that is, you know, because it's like, oh, what are you listening to these days? And I mean, like, there's so much good, great, amazing content out there. I mean, there's no time.

Alisha: You know, I was thinking about that in terms of our home decoration. Like I love our home, the home we're in right now. It's very, we've every, there’s art, from all of our travels, I love our furniture every piece. But, you know, I don't want it to be a time capsule. I like, I think about this life learning because I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't want it to be a time capsule of this time of when we thought everything was ok. Like my mom every three months gets a totally new hairstyle and every six months gets a new chair, like a sheet or a new rug or a new throw pillows for every season. 

Lucky: Are we going to get new furniture? 

Alisha: Maybe. But, I'm saying not settling into who you think works for you.

Justin: I have another analogy for this. I just read a review of studies like last year on muscle mass in older people. And so basically everybody thinks like you just get older and your muscles go, and that's part of aging. But actually, this review of all the studies shows that it’s actually because people stop moving and start doing stuff. And that actually, if you take a muscle cell of an 80-year-old and put it under a microscope, the muscle cell looks the same as a 20-year-old. And so it's really about continuing to work out. And in this review, they had pictures of like 80-year-old bodybuilders and they were huge and buff. And so basically the idea is that—don't stop. Listen to new music, get new haircuts.

Audra: And in the brain, too, you know, and that's how he felt about moving to Savannah, too, was it was almost like doing crossword and Sudoku or whatever to keep fresh. It's like moving to a new place. You move out of routine.

Lucky: Really shakes it up. 

Audra: Right? Shakes it up, right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because then you're like, wait, that favorite cafe is, no, that's not what it is now. Let's find another one. Like, I mean, let's find something else. I think Alisha, I know Alisha is really good at this also because I'm more of a homebody. I guess…

Alisha: I don’t think that's true at all.

Lucky: Alisha's always on the go.

Alisha: You’re an adventure like we're both adventures in unique ways. And I think you're right. Like new experiences are so important, whether, and I think, like as we talked about at the very beginning, it's important to have those internally and externally. You know, whether or what's pushing us, if it's reading new articles and new music or new ways of meditation or new things that are helping us, and also going to have those like new cafes, making new friendships, making…

Audra: Things through our kids. That they're showing us.

Alisha: It all becomes how we can be more whole, I think.

Justin: Ok, I love the fact that I tried to land the plane and then it kind of took off. Ok, so I just want to make sure so listeners can just follow you, find out more, where?

Lucky: Ok, so you can go to LuckyDiazmusic.com. You can go to the luckyband_ on Instagram or Lucky_Diaz at Twitter or I think we have a Facebook too. Lucky Diaz Band.

Alisha: Good job. I'm really bad at these kind of things. I'm mostly on Instagram at AlishaGaddishere and on Facebook. I talk too much and write too long to be on Twitter that successfully.

Lucky: I'm not good at tweeting. I’d be like I'm having a ham sandwich right now.

Alisha: But truly, if you message me on Instagram and it's like a question or thought or, I usually try to message everybody back, I like to, you know, new people.

Lucky: Yeah. Your books are at that Applause Books.

Alisha: Oh, we'll just anywhere books are sold. So you can get our books and our music. And those are all on PBS.

Audra: So that is one of the most beautiful things, is that we are able to participate in the energy you bring to the world, the work that you share with the world, and all of these different ways and with our families, with our kids. It's really cool. Maybe we can do a book reading sometime or something like that. So I'm sort of like…

Alisha: That would be fun.

Justin: All right. So we have three final questions that we ask every single guest. These are just the like, really, really quick, succinct boom. Yeah. Okay. And then you both can choose to answer together or separately. But the first one is if you could put a Post-it note on every parent's refrigerator tomorrow morning, just put it right there. What would that Post-it note say?

Alisha: “I see you. I hear you. You're doing a great job.”

Audra: Thank you. Thank you.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky, do you have anything to add to that?

Lucky: I mean, how can you add to that? 

Justin: All right. So the next one. Do either of you have a quote that you can recall that you've read or heard recently that's really moved you or changed the way you think or feel?

Alisha: I have one. I was surprised it was, it's by Harriet Tubman. But if you think about when you hear the quote that this is what Harriet Tubman was thinking, it's really amazing. She said, “Every great dream starts with a dreamer.” I mean, if Harriet Tubman was dreaming and doing at the same time, imagine what we can all do.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky. Do you have one?

Lucky: I have a quote, but I feel I'm going to misquote part of it. It's an Eddie Van Halen quote. “You got to care so much that it looks like you don't give a shit.” I think it was something like that. So…

Alisha: That's our life motto. In our house. No, it really is.

Lucky: Give a shit like you don't give it. That's what it was. Something like that. You have to look it out. But it's, I'm paraphrasing,

Audra: It just means like unabashedly, like openly. Like you don't give a shit about repercussions or whatever the fear-based things that people throw your way. Like if you say this and this will happen.

Lucky: It's like if you got to care enough that you don't care. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to.

Audra: You don't care about what people think.

Lucky: Well, I think yeah. And I think he had referred to it as his guitar playing. I think it was like, how do you, so great? He's like, well, I cared so much that I didn't care, you know.

Audra: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Lucky: You know what I mean? Like, it's so effortless when you play. You know, when he played, it was like. But it sounds like that. So, yeah.

Justin: Yeah. I like become so passionate and absorbed. Yeah.

Lucky: Right. Exactly. That you don't care. Yeah.

Justin: Beautiful. 

Ok, so the third and final question is and I like to preface it by saying, you know, as parents, we have these times when we might think, oh, you know, the kids like they’re, the house is a mess or a lot of work or, you know, whatever the case is. And so we just like to end with this question, what do you love about kids? 

Audra: We want to celebrate them. So this is that question.

Alisha: I love… something, I guess, I hope to seek in myself that I hope to reflect to myself, I love how they're just they're unabashed, you know, speaking that I care so much, I don't give a shit. They're unabashed joy and emotive feeling. 

I love when they dance. They aren't judging their bodies and their movement. And when they don’t see who's seeing them and they're doing it for the feeling and the music. And I think there's, you know, the profoundness in childhood, the magic of it, and I hope to prolong it. You know, I love, I want to live in that.

Lucky: I think I was going to say something the same. Like I would say that I love their ability to accept magic as magical. They just do. And children, it's only that adults we get corrupted into seeing. And there's also that famous Picasso quote, you know, “Are we all unseeing by the time we are adults?” Children really see. 

I think their ability to accept magic as magical is magic. When you see your kid at Disneyland and it's or another place and it's like what they see is magic because they accept it. And I think we can do that. You know, I can definitely do that more so daily. Right. Like, you know, wait a second. The fact that we're even existing is magic.

 Alisha: And there is magic.

Lucky: I know it is. I agree. I'm only trying to remind myself, like, you know, doing your laundry or washing your dishes or just going through a process of being like the way I can feel like this water's cold on my hands and I feel the water is and I like this whole experience is like, not to get existential, but it's like it's so much we take for granted magic every day. 

Alisha: I mean, we're on a ball spinning in the world, hurtling through space.

Justin: Right, hurtling through space.

Alisha: That’s not magic?!

Audra: I mean, it's mind-bending. And for kids to not have to be loaded with stories around, I mean, they have stories, but like not the stories, the norm stories around everything. And to be able to approach that all with that wonderment and that, those open eyes and what we can experience through them, like you were saying at the beginning, Lucky, through their optics like that is…

Lucky: There's no rules to anything there, like if you were to take it like, oh, you can grow back like you can grow back a limb, ok, I'm going to grow back. And I'm like, it's like nothing like extreme about it. But their ability to accept things that are supernatural or what we consider supernatural, is just natural. So like, you know, we can all stand to learn from that. I mean, I can.

Justin: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for joining us. This is such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to do it again.

Audra: I can't wait as well. I mean, just the joy that comes from being with you, the incredible energy, this magic. But then I just really want to thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and the fact that you are really willing to connect with us today. We haven't talked in a while. 

We've stayed in touch, but haven't had the chance to have a conversation like this. And that you opened up to us and also to our audience of parents really, really means so much to us. I feel like it's going to resonate with so many people. That's really what so many of us are looking for today, are real conversations, you know, where folks are really getting vulnerable about all of the different things in life. You know, what we're going through as parents and as makers and entrepreneurs and all of these different things, it's really, really important to share.

So thank you.

Alisha: Thank you. Thanks for having us to come on and having this chat. I mean, and, you know, like magic. I told Indiana, our daughter, yesterday that time was like a made-up construct. She was asking about time zones. And I was like, I don’t know, time, like, you know, so. You profoundly affected our hearts. So the time is irrelevant when you, seeing your faces and hearing your voices like it's still you have a, you are meaningful to us. And so we're so grateful to share this with you. So thank you.

Lucky: Yeah, definitely the feeling is mutual. What we all do is so important and touches so many lives.

Alisha: And now you know how crazy we really are.

Audra: Likewise. We're in good company. I think we all are in such and such a beautiful way. That's like the human spirit, right? Like it's just awe-inspiring to me. 

Lucky: It's awesome to see your faces as well.

Justin: Hey, thanks for listening to The Family Thrive podcast. If you like what you heard, please subscribe, tell two friends and head on over to Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts and give us a review. We're so grateful you've chosen to join us on this Family Thrive journey.

Transcript highlights


02:36 

Audra: So where are we talking to you from, where are you? Where in the world?

Alisha: Well, right now, we actually just got back from Los Angeles, we’re in our home in the midwest, in Columbus, Indiana.

Audra: Oh, awesome.


04:25 

Audra: So five years ago, you thought, “Let's get a place outside of L.A. and let's be closer to family and just kind of spread out a little bit.”

Alisha: Yeah. Five years ago was like when we had our daughter and she was born in Los Angeles and her name is Indiana. And that was when we found out about her congenital hole in her heart. And I kind of had a panic attack, like just was, you know, freaking out and thought, I can't do this by myself. I want to be closer to family. It was. 

And so we thought we were going to move here full time. And then I've never lived here my life. I wasn't raised here. My parents moved here when I was living in New York. So I don't come back as like knowing people. But so then we came here in the winter and bought this house that wasn't restored at the time. And we were like, what are we doing here? This isn't this is worse than I had imagined. 

So then our goal was to get back to LA but keep this house. And we've juggled it and then we renovated it. And then we also have a rental space that when our back, Lucky totally renovated the garage into being a beautiful studio and in-law suite. So when we're not here, we can rent that out. We like tried to create ways to make it work for our family. So that way now we kind of get best of both worlds.


07:15 

Lucky: I think we have equality in our relationship that speaks to extending that to our daughter, I guess. And I think that's I guess our location jumping speaks to that, because, you know, I really feel that it's important to honor both of our heritages in our kids. And so there's a real culture that Alisha comes from that I think is very important. And there's a culture that I come from, so we're both very...

Alisha: And they don't exist in the same place. 

Lucky: They don't exist in this house.

Audra: I feel that.

Justin: I love this. And I'm sensing that to the home in Indiana and the home in Los Angeles is really the manifestation of a theme in your lives and in your work. That is, there's is this like entertainment, you know, artistic side. See, that is the LA. And then it's like about kids and about family and about, you know, like home. And so you have the Indiana part and the. Yeah, it seems perfect for you.


17:27 

Audra: Sorry. I'm just so curious about the bubble and all of that. And before we get into Justin's questions, which are awesome, And your background and how you met and all these great things. I do want to just check in on Indiana. You mentioned that she has a congenital heart, a hole in her heart. It's a congenital effect, if you will. What, how’s she doing?

Alisha: Thanks for asking, and she's doing great, I mean, great as a like, you know, hitting all the physical markers that she should. You know, it was interesting. She just entered kindergarten. And I mean, talk about the anxiety and the stress.

Audra: Oh, yeah. 

Alisha: I mean, we just didn't know what to do. So we ended up putting her in a small Montessori school, because at the moment it's Covid guidelines.

Audra: Yes. 

Alisha: Yeah. Literally I was like...

Lucky: And they had the smallest population.

Alisha: The smallest population, wonderful, wonderful teachers. 

Lucky: It has a lot of things going for it. 

Alisha: It’s outside. Like, it was like checking the most boxes.

Lucky: I mean, I'm a product of that as a young child.

Alisha: My parents are public school teachers. So it took a lot. My mom was a public school kindergarten teacher for 35 years. 

Audra: Wow. 

Alisha: Yeah, amazing. And my friends are all kindergarten teachers. Like literally they're all teachers in the public school. So anywho I digress. 

But part of it was before we went, that was before we came here. We had to go to her biannual cardiology appointment. And she was supposed to have heart surgery before entering kindergarten. And so it was just like I mean, my tendency when we go to intense doctor's appointments is I start blacking out and like I can't process information. So we've come up with and it was only one person at a time can go into these big things because of Covid. And usually he like, I deal with her and he kind of processes what's being told to us. And this time he couldn't come in. 

So I had to FaceTime the doctor and be like, here, talk just to my husband while I look at all the heart monitors in the dark room. And previously, she had they had there was like a flap of skin that looked like it was kind of like just, kind of flapping over the hole. And it wasn't there this time, which was a huge let down. And there's nothing you can do about that. 

But at the same time, he was like, let's hold off on the heart surgery because she's doing fine. She can literally live with this up until a certain point, and then she may experience all these horrible things. But if she's not at this moment, then it's ok. And she's very aware of her condition. She knows, mask-wearing has been trickier because she has a problem processing oxygen so she can't get enough. It's like her heart works double to get the oxygen. 

Audra: Right. 

Alisha: So it's like intense mask wearers and he hears a lot. And we have her wear a mask outside. So it's a lot when she goes to school and it was 106 and she has a mask on. And so it’s a lot to process. But she knows, she knows what to do. She knows to like hopefully. 

So that's you know, as a mom and dad, I can't speak for you, but I will. But as like a dad, parents letting her off and to not being able to be like, take your mask off, go to the side, take your drink of water, breathe, because she gets, you know. So you have to kind of prep the teachers. And her teachers have been amazing. But she's doing well, like psychologically, she's doing super well physically. I mean, we couldn't ask for more, really. 


24:07 

Justin: All right, so between you both, you have produced over a dozen records, a television show, several books, have won multiple Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards, a Parent's Choice Gold Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, a National Parenting Product Award. And I just want to like, you guys are a big deal. So am I missing anything?

Audra: And the Grammy is also Latin Grammy, right? Like, many, I feel like it was this was more than once. 

Justin: I said awards, plural. 

Audra: This is an incredible list, you two. What did we miss?

Justin: Well, oh, you know, what's coming up for me right away is I have heard that for artists, performers who, you know, achieve the awards, you know, they get this recognition that they can still have a sense of like, “Oh, my God, what's the next thing?” And so is this for you? Like, do you experience that?

Lucky: I just talked about this this morning. That’s our morning conversation.

Alisha: Every morning we're like, we're doing this like…

Justin: Oh, my gosh, that's what I've heard. And so you like you get the awards, like you get the gold star.

Audra: You're some of the most accomplished human beings on this earth. 

Justin: Like you're doing great and then, you know, you wake up the next day and like, ok, what's the next thing?

Audra: It’s not enough.

Alisha: Yeah. I mean… Yes.

Lucky: It's very hard but what you said is 100 percent.

Alisha: And it's hard when you put out things and then they're done, you know, and it's hard to know what the next goal is. And it's you know, it sounds like, wahhh wahhh. But it's like when you accomplish these huge things that you wanted. We're both trying to be like, what is it now that we really do actually? 

What do we want to do, in like our souls and hearts, coupled with like the doubt and the fear and the self-loathing that is in our heads as artists. And we both share that. So it's like thankfully often it's not at the same time. So, yeah.

Justin: So you take turns. Oh, yes. 

Audra: You coach each other. 

Lucky: I think that it's overwhelming. That feeling is overwhelming and creating things. And then sometimes you just don't. I think we all get, me personally. I could only speak for myself in the sense that the reason I make things is because I've always thought it was just so much fun. I've always found so much fulfillment out of creating things. And I feel that it's part of one of life's gifts to be able to have an ability just to create stuff. 

And for a long time, I just thought everybody created things instantly. And I think I was like a teenager or something and, or maybe in college. And I was talking to someone about even writing a song or, you know, if you asked me to write a song about like Mayo and tomato, like, yeah, sure I can do that. I can literally do that. Right. And I was talking to this person and they were like, “Oh, like I could never, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to start with that.” Right. And then it occurred to me that not everyone is like everyone has special abilities, but not everyone has the same ability. And then those abilities are then like in different levels of like depending on how much effort you give them either. 

But I thought like it's a benefit and a detriment to want and have this, right, because like, you know, in your heart, you want to keep making things. And then it's so sometimes such a struggle to make things. And then when you get like this, these huge validations that are like, you're so great at making them, and then you're like, oh, but I'm a fraud because that stuff isn't as good as you think it is. And so like every day, it's like it's a real struggle, I think that sees it...

Alisha: And we're different in that way. He has a very much like we talk about like imposter syndrome.

Audra: Oh, that's what I was just thinking, like creative imposter syndrome or whatever. 

Alisha: Mine's more of like a perfectionist tendency and wanting to just like produce more, better, faster, in a more profound way. Like, hey, you're...

Lucky: Yeah, you're really. Yeah, that's...

Alisha: Like, you like to produce things and then doubt it immediately or like get an award and it's like not good enough. And I'm like, ok, I got this. I have to do better. Very like, I have to make another goal, like quickly. 

Audra: I identify with you, Alisha, for sure. And I think Justin's more on the side of the nagging imposter syndrome, like checking out your work.

Justin:  Actually, I feel like what you both said, like I feel like the above. I feel very doubtful and like an imposter. And I need to produce a bunch more. And I know...

Lucky: Yeah, well, yeah. And you always and you're always like thinking, wow, I have to like, make more. And I think I could work breakfast today. Usually on weekends we do like a brunch, right? We'll do like a family brunch. We all sit down and we have it. That's not to say we don't do it during the week now, but...

Alisha: We usually go to the farmer's market on Saturday, buy all fresh things, and then Lucky and Indiana make a big breakfast.

Audra: Ohhh. Great. 

Lucky: … I am having a dialogue with myself about like, well, maybe I just need to stop making things, maybe just for a second to get myself permission to just break. And I think that a good lesson for creatives that I'm only learning myself is that just because you feel like you achieved this one thing and then like it's done like you're so set, you're going to wake up every day and you're like, well…

Alisha: The world’s gonna be different. 

Lucky: Just like I did this thing and everyone thought it was cool and everything's great. And I know like and I literally told Alisha two days ago, like, “Am I like any good at this? Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.” Like that's a real conversation we're having on the porch as we're sitting, watching, like people walk their dog. 

Alisha: I’m like “You ask me this every day.” That was my answer. He asked me every day, like. Yes, you’re amazing.

Lucky: Yeah. And I mean, I think there's like aspects of like, you know, I'm like, “Oh, well, maybe my studio needs this thing, this microphone or this amplifier, this thing to really make me better, right? Or maybe I'm going to find inspiration in that.” And sometimes, most often I do. I find a little bit of, like a little salt and that'll be like, oh, this little flavor there.

Alisha: That’s important though.

Lucky: And that ignites it, right? Because the gear or the guitars or the stuff for me isn't about the stuff or accumulating it. It's about the inspiration that it brings in the story that it also brings with it, right? Like, who owned this? Like what did they make with this thing? Is it going to give me the permission to make something now? Right. And I think that like but also that's a slippery, dangerous slope, because then you find yourself with like, well, I have this stuff and I still haven't created anything like…

Alisha: Well, that's because you've made something internal external. Right? So like what Lucky’s describing is taking his anxiety and self-doubt manifestations, putting it looking for outward change and not dealing with the voice in his head.

Audra: Oh, that’s powerful…

Justin: Ok, now… I was going to talk about this stuff or find a way to talk about later on, but like this is. Yeah. So this feels like there's a lot of room here for doing some serious inner work. And one thing that I've learned as a parent is that the more inner work that I do, therapy, different... 

Audra: Emotional processing. 

Justin: Yeah. Processing practices and relationship skills and all the stuff, the more work I do on this, the more I can show up for my partner, for my kids. And, but then for you, there's this added thing of like the more you show up in your creativity, in your work. And so I'm curious, like what sort of. I'm not sure exactly the right word to use here. Modalities, therapies, self-work.

Audra: Is there anything that works for you? Was there anything that helps? 

Justin: Yeah. 

Alisha: Oh, my gosh, you all. I have tried everything during this pandemic because I think some of our ways of dealing with things were intake, which were new experience, travel, those kind of things that then we can internalize. But when you're taken, when you're quarantined in a pandemic, you have to take a real good look at yourself and your partner, like what you're saying. And looking about, I have always been big proponents of therapy, and it's been very hard to get a new therapist in this climate. Therapists are booked to the closet.

Audra: Oh, yeah...

Alisha: All my friends who are therapists, all my friends were trying to go to therapists. I mean, everyone is booked. I personally, a big proponent, we both are of journaling every day. We talk a lot. I do a meditation almost every day. I have like, I'm talking crystal, tarot.

Justin: Oh, love it.

Alisha: Breathing workshops. Anything that you can do to center yourself or stoppings. I'm talking like tea at night, wine at night. 

Justin: Wine in the morning.


36:49 

Justin: You're the one who is going to look for different therapeutic approaches. So you mentioned all these different things. So I just have a curiosity. What right now is like really working for you or like what right now seems to be really important?

Alisha: Well, it's 140. Ok, this is like 140. Today's the day I got to sleep in. This morning, I woke up last night. I set my crystals out. This is like last night I set my crystals out for some moonlight energy. I lit candles for release and gratefulness, meditated before I went to bed to “Let's Heal the Shit” by Emily Churchhill. A free thing to do. Then I listen to more, another meditation on Calm and read a mindful magazine with a cup of tea. I woke up this morning. I journaled in bed while cuddling my daughter and dog, and he brought coffee. I then did a tarot card and got up and listened to the music. We listened to Django Reinhardt and danced a little bit. This was like before, like those are the things I do with it in like every like, that's just like a snippet. 

So when I say I'm desperately searching for ways to quell my anxiety because I get not just panic attacks, full-on panic, panic attacks isn’t the right word, anxiety attacks. What's the one that's worse, where you have like total mental breakdowns and like can't breathe?

Audra: Panic attack.

Alisha: Hyperventilating… 

Justin: Yeah, I think so. Panic attacks for sure.

Lucky: That only happens very suddenly though.

Alisha: Yeah, exactly. Like the anxiety and like crying. Like very cathartic. Like I try to let myself feel all this great, you know, because, you know, we cry, cry and journal it. And then, but I have to, I have to stay on top of my anxiety, especially in these times, because I think one of my strengths is controlling things. Lists making, control like I control our, like I'm very organized and very…

Lucky: Yeah, Alisha does all our finances, all, anything that requires smart brains. There's an art.

Alisha: Well, it's an odd thing because I'm a creative, but with a real organized…

Justin: Well, that's the Midwestern part of you right?

Alisha: Yeah, I think so. But in order because there's so many variables right now that I can't change, like yesterday we had this trip planned, that was the redo for my birthday party because of Covid. And now we're not going to take this trip because it's going to be another Covid birthday. And that's these small things that are adding up, that feel like they're breaking me. Like they're like I just feel a heaviness. So I have to be proactive so that I can be, like you said Justin, a present mindful parent.

Lucky: But I think, just from observing Alisha, though, I have to say that I think the number one thing that Alisha does in order for me to, I think as a therapeutic device is talking. Alisha, loves…
Audra: It's so good. 

Justin: It's therapeutic. Yes, it's as you said before, it is bringing what's inside outside. Your processing…

Lucky: And she's so good at it.

Alisha: With our daughter, I process.

Lucky: Processing. That's it, Justin. That's it. That's number one. Right. So it's kind of like, you know, oh, I like I, I like...

Alisha: I reach out to community and process there. I have an amazing support group and other moms and different this mom group. I'm in the pile and they're amazing. And then, but processing with Lucky and processing with our daughter.

Lucky: It's a lot of talking.

Alisha: It’s a lot of talking. 

Lucky: Our eldest daughter is like, I don't... 

Alisha: When she was little. She was like...

Lucky: She was like, I don't want to talk about anything else. And I mean, I think that it's important, though, because, you know, Alisha is really good at identifying like problems, like let's say like, you know, I burn something and I'm like, you know, freak out in the kitchen like, “Oh, man, that was expensive cheese.” And, you know, it's all like, you know what I mean?

Alisha: My new phrase to him is, I say, “Is that a proper emotional response? Let's just take a pause.”

Lucky: You know, it’s not about burning the cheese. It's not about the way you know, that's…

Justin: Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, because the proper emotional, like my response would be like, well, it's my emotional response and it's my emotional truth. Alright, let me stress out about it. But your deeper question is right. Like this isn't about the cheese Lucky. Like, what is this really about? Yeah. Right.

Alisha: Right. So if you said like this is my response, like I would be like, that's valid like that. That is valid that you're having that anger.

Lucky: And unfortunately, I have a lot of like maybe my old man in me that's more like old school, like, you know, you know, rub some dirt on it, you know what I mean? Kind of vibe.

Justin: Well, that's what happens. So that's what I've learned, because practically every boy, at least in America, is raised to repress, you know, like stop the crying. Keep it out. Control, control, control. Yeah. And so I this I don't remember who said this, but yeah, what is not expressed gets repressed. And I feel like that's exactly like men now. They grow up in their like they've repressed all this stuff for their whole life. And then it comes out in explosions. It's like, why did dad just lose his shit like that?


47:55 

Audra: It sounds like to me you both are incredibly self-aware and incredibly open with each other. I'm really just taking it all in. I think it's beautiful. Yeah, it's just really, really beautiful. 

How open you are and how does this translate your processing of your childhoods, of that expression, of for Lucky for you, your inner child maybe getting to express himself in a way that he never could as a child. Right. How your Midwest upbringing in these very pragmatic ways, but then your, for Alisha going to LA and being able to express yourself as an artist and then digging into your inner work and digging in to support yourself. All of the realizations you had around all of this, how has that affected you both as parents? And you have an age spread, too. So I'd love to hear like affected you as parents, like with kids at very different ages.

Alisha: Wow, that’s a lot of thoughts.

Lucky: I think at the end of the day, like for Alisha and I both like, you know, I think we want to lead as examples for our kids to know that being who they are is what's most important, truly. Right. So. And I joke about this, and I just heard this a million times, but, you know, if our daughter wants to be, or any of our girls, if they want to be an electrician, well, then and they love electricity and they love being electrician. I want them to be the like the most passionate electrician ever did ever to live. 

Whatever their passions are. That's really what I want for them. I feel like that's what we as parents are able to provide. Giving them the awareness and permission to just be themselves. Right. And I think that there's always this very linear kind of path and, you know, North American like parenting and success or whatever that looks like. You know, it's like, oh, you're going to go to college and you're going to do this and you're going to get a good job. 

Audra: And then and then. Right.

Lucky: But the problem with that is we all know is that it's a never-ending cycle. And then people find themselves like around our age or my age and being like, what did I do with my whole life? You know, like what, right?

Audra: Trying to find themselves. Right.

Lucky: So I think it's like for us and for me, I think like trying to just set an example of being like, hey, you can create whatever life you want, just as long as you're finding joy and hopefully providing joy for other people or your community, that I think it's a win. Right? It's a success, you know, and finding whatever it is that they're great at or impassioned about, that's the path I think that, I think in this lesson. 

You know, Alisha and I have faced many obstacles and I've had many opportunities, but I also feel that there is a certain kind of courage that we both have, like had to give to one another and to each have within ourselves to do it. So like, you know, there's been many times where I'm like, “I can't go on.” Alisha's like, “you got to keep going.” And then Alisha’s like, “I can't go on.” I'm like, “you got to keep going.” 

And it's like because at the end of day, you know, like I always used this idea, like, you know, I always wanted to go to Tokyo. Right. And so Alisha and I were like, I don't remember what year it was, but we were living in those fields in Los Angeles. And I was, you know, still she had just kind of started going back to her other family's house to spend some time. And I remember waking up one day thinking like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Tokyo and I was, I've been waiting for an opportunity for like life to be like, hey, you're going to go to Japan. Right. 

And it just hadn't showed up yet. I'm like, how much room I got on this credit card. I was just thinking, literally, I was like, how much room I got on that. Ok, cool. I'm going to go on Delta.com. What if I had tickets to go and I'm going to try to figure out like when we can go for how long. Because my thought, like you're never going to remember the money it didn't have. But I can tell you what it felt like to see Japan, just the coast of Japan as you're flying into Japan. And what we had for dinner that very first night, I can oh, I can tell you that I think that that's how I want to live life. And just even having this conversation reminds me. Yes, yes, yes. Keep going down this route because you're not going to, because you know who's going to remember. And I can't tell you how much money we didn't have. I can't tell you any of those things. But I can tell you that it was something that was so meaningful. 

And I know it's, I'm not trying to be hedonistic. And I know that you both can speak to this in ways that I can't imagine where it's like this is this. It is this. This is the moment. Right. So let's make something happen. And if you don't, then you may regret it. Just do this, right? Just honor it. Honor this moment. Honor this relationship. Honor this family. Honor this existence. Because, you know, so often in the last, like especially the last 20 months, we've lost a lot of friends. Like lost. They're gone now. And so it's kind of like this is all we got right now, that I can speak to. But if you can lead by example for our own kids anyways, I think that that's the best thing to do, and our daughters have really benefited from that kind of thought.

Audra: It sounds like I mean, it sounds like a real powerful perspective on, to me, an abundance mindset and not taking things for granted in life like. Really, really focusing on trying to be present and treasuring our time together and treasuring our relationships and our family like some of the most powerful things that we can do together with our time on this earth. Right.


55:56 

Alisha: So I'm trying to learn as a parent that my way isn't the way for her, which we you know, I was younger when I was parenting Ella, and coming in as a step-parent. So I didn't get the chance to fully use all the tactics I had and am able to now. But I think like with Indiana, you know, it's just an interesting, it's interesting when you notice your kids are different than you and they're teaching you and you're trying to gather with passion, with grace.

Audra: That's a powerful observation. And I think something that is amazing that you're honoring in your children and so beautiful. Like that's something that has been a real revelation to me as well. 

And I look at my kids instead of as mini me’s, which is kind of how I thought I was going to think when we had kids, you know, like there are going to be like some, you know, equation of us. Right. And then to see you are your own human being, like this is mind-blowing. Right. And so beautiful. And it's for me to work on kind of myself and my reactions and my issues and the things that I bring to this so that I can support you in being you.

Alisha: Yes. And speaking to that, it's like, you know, some of the things we were taught as kids that what are, what we're bringing into it that we think is right. One of the things that I try to do a lot is I'll start I'll start saying something like she'll be doing something, say, jumping on our couch. And I was absolutely not allowed to jump on a couch. And I and this was maybe last year I started to say, “stop jumping on the couch.” And then I'm like, wait, do I actually feel that way? Do I? Pause. Pause. Why am I telling her to stop?

Lucky: Only you can do this. I mean, it's amazing.

Audra: Getting curious about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. In the moment, creating the truth of what our familial dynamic is. Like, I know she's not going to go to somebody else's house and jump on a couch. I know she can go to the Louvre and not touch a statue or run. I know. I know who my child is. So she wants to jump on a couch and not knock something down, like what? Like, I don't. It's ok.And I bring that up is like a micro thing to a macro situation of who we are and also being open to evolving to what we really want to be in our relationships. Right. Like learning from each other. So I'm trying. I have no idea.

Justin: So I've heard a lot of or what I'm hearing is how your art and your work has affected your parenting and the lessons that you're taking into parenting. And I'm wondering if there's anything moving the other way of like parenting affecting art. And what has that been like?

Lucky: I mean, I think that it's a profound experience to be a parent, because I always think that you get optics from your children that you didn't have before. 

You know, and I remember like Indiana being small and just looking, she's like look at, look at the, we were on a walk just her and I and she's like, look at the trees, look at and she has this like what kind of magic she has this magic that Alisha has, that she's able to see things in different ways. And not that I don't just see a tree, but she's looking up. And I thought to myself, we'd been on this walk, you know, a dozen times or something, right, in that month and I had not even looked up. And I nodded and taken the opportunity to actually see what was happening from our own perspective. And I was like, whoa, this is really cool. Wow. This is really beautiful. 

This is the way she sees the world. I didn't see that. And I think it's been a huge gift for me to be able to see things through her optics, through her eyes, literally and figuratively, because she's also she comes up with like all these amazing ideas and all that similar things. And it's kind of like, whoa, like I never really thought about that. But it opens up these opportunities. 

And Alisha is a little, she's better at being there for that, being present anyways. And so, like my daily struggle is being more aware and present in that but it also gives me the ability of the show. I had mentioned earlier just to play. I love playing. I love making up things. You know, if we even, if we were adults without any children, imagine it like, ok, for the next 10 minutes, you're going to take figurines and you're going to make a dialog. Right. 

And people were like, this is insane. That's crazy. How much better would we all be if we had that opportunity just to play with figurines, right. And just be right and just have that dramatic therapy of just being like, I had a bad day at work, man, I'm going to eat your face off, you know, like, you know, just even working through that.

Audra: Oh, it's such a good point. Such a good point. That's authentic relating.


1:07:21 

Lucky: I mean, I've seen my parents maybe in that way, but I know for a fact that my girls have seen me in like ways that's like, wow, that's really who you are. And that is like that kind of gift is profound because it's like this is who I am. I think like, you know, Micah and I know you know who a player is who illustrates a lot of our projects and stuff. 

And Micah and I were always talking about as fathers, like leaving something to our kids. Right. What's the legacy that we're leaving? And I think that that's part of the game, too, for us, is just having this legacy left, right, of like honesty and bravery and and just total, just I don't know, just transparency in the sense that like I know my dad, like I know that my girls can be like I know my dad, I know who he is. And I think that that's such a rare opportunity, you know, because we're also protecting ourselves, too, right. And there's a vulnerability that… 

Alisha: I think you hit on something of like parents and talking about parenting and what we want to give to our kids, letting our kids see us be vulnerable. Like the other day, I was crying because I was like I mentioned, I had this peak of like it was all too much again, you know, sending her to for saying in Indiana. 

So she hugged me and she kind of started laughing. She was like, “Are you crying for real mama or are you...?” And I said, “no, I'm crying because I'm feeling my big feelings right now and I'm going to move through them and it'll be ok. But I'm feeling really sad right now, and that's ok.” Then it was ok. Then we played again. Right. But like, I think letting your kids see your passion, like your true passion, unbridled passion. 

Like you said, our kids see us like live in these huge ways and huge stages for a lot of people. But then they see us in our own home with that same passion that's just for them and that same vulnerability that we can share collectively. And I think that you're right, that also shapes their emotional landscape, something I hope our daughter carries forward.

 Audra: Sharing your true joys and pain, processing your emotions together, sharing in your art, your creativity, your energetic work, all of that stuff. It's so counter to how so many of us were raised, which was in a performance, a performance of parenting. What are you supposed to do as a parent? I'm supposed to do what my parents did. There's a role, right? Just a role is not who we thought about, who we really are. And I think that we are seeing parenting together. And I don’t speak for all of us. But it sounds like we're seeing parenting in a different way.

Lucky: I would agree. I think generationally it's different for sure. And I think that the conversations as like fathers, like I again, I mentioned Micah because he's a creative partner and a man that I work with and have these conversations with about what that's like being of this time and another time that didn't exist and being a product of another time and going into another time. Right. And evolving together and the evolution of what that looks like and yeah, for sure. 

And then and then trying to figure out what fathering means, what parenting means out being a man is supposed to look like to you know, and I think that like hanging up, like it's an everyday process of being like, wait, you know, ok, so what? It's like what are gender roles like? Oh, I didn't mean to be like that about it. Like, you know, I you know, I recently said and I really regret it, like, you know, I just felt really badly about it. Like we had some friends over and they have two boys. And I was like, oh, and they were like creating a ruckus or something. I'm like, oh, they're just boys, you know, they're just being boys or whatever it was. It was a passing statement because it was the energy. It was just not it was, it was not thought through. Right. 

And I felt really badly about it. But these are the kinds of events like situations and experiences that I think dads and people, men of this generation or my generation are experiencing. Right. Because it's so ingrained about like I don't have any, you know, Alisha, I don't have any gender, you know, assignments to anything. Right. Whether they're colors. And in fact, we're always fighting against gender norms. But I think I always have those conversations of being you know, that's like saying like, hey, guys, how you doing, guys?

Audra: I'm unlearning that hardcore.

Justin: I think we're all of the generation. We grew up like kids. Like “guys.” “What's up, guys?” Oh, so right. As a college instructor it's, over the past several years has been so difficult because all it just slips out. 

Lucky: It does, and that's…

Justin: Guys, can you check out this? And then. So the last year, I just made a point. I was like, I'm just going to apologize every time I do that, and I'm going to continue and I'll try to do better.

Alisha: But that's a credible evolution, like the fact that these you know, it's the unlearning. And I think that's the, I think even letting people see that we acknowledge that we are unlearning by new learning. Because I'll do the same thing is as you all, I'll be like, oh, I'm I'm really sorry. I'm going to restart like, hey, all I know that sounds stupid. I'm trying not to say this. And even like letting our children see that, too. 

Audra: Absolutely. 

Alisha: That's a big deal. Like Indiana came back from her second day of kindergarten and she was a little bit upset. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know how to address it. She said Indiana or she said, “Mama, like there's a boys bathroom and a girl's bathroom and there's not a them bathroom.” And this is something I speak to her a lot about, like she'll be well, she'll say, oh, they're that and then let's not assign them pronouns, you know, unless we know. Unless like because we have a lot of friends who are children, who are they/them and because that's the world. And for the first time, I was taken aback about what my answer should be, because I didn't expect that to be like the thing she took from kindergarten day two. Right. 

I was like, well, you know…I like she'd asked me this real hurtful thing that was valid, like I've said. And this I think I said something. I bumbled through it and I said, you know, someone, “one of your friends or you or someone needs to, comes up and it doesn't feel comfortable going into either the bathrooms. Let them know that we are safe people to talk to.” And I asked her if she went to the school requesting the gender neutral bathroom, and she was like, no, it's ok for now. I just really didn't know why they made that choice. And then she turned around. 

Audra: Were you so proud of her?



1:23:12 

Alisha: Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like we're trying consciously and subconsciously in our house. I can't speak for the world, but when we create art, we are very mindful, almost kind of too mindful. Sometimes we can't. But the outcome is positive.



1:27:28 

Justin: We don't want to use up your entire day, and so I kind of...

Audra: I know we could.

Justin: So I would love to have you back on and we could talk more about this. But as we sort of land this plane, I just want to be sure to ask. We've heard about books. You have a new, you have at least one new... Can you just give us a lay of the land? What is out right now and where can listeners find out more about you?

Lucky: We have a new album that came out June.

Alisha: I don't even know what day it is.

 Lucky: It's called Crayon Kids, and it's available where all music is streaming. 

Justin: Yes, it's fantastic. I mean, it's so great.

Alisha: It is relevant, it’s powerful. 

Justin: So I just wanted to ask about Generation C. So, I mean, the album starts. It's such an amazing song because it, I’ve listened to it now a bunch of times because it's like, how does this song make me feel so sad and happy at the same time? And so I just wanted to ask you about writing this song that feels really emotionally complex.

Lucky: It's a really great question. So basically, it's the last song that we wrote for that EP, that album. The project started out as like three songs, and then it turned into nine songs. 

My writing partner in it, Michael Farkas, who I wrote it with, and Kenny Siegel, who's the other writer on that particular song, it’s the only song on our album that has all three of us writing together. 

Because some of them I kind of write by myself, but ultimately Michael and I split the writing credit and then, you know, like I'll pass something through Alisha where she's like, “Oh, I like this, I like that there, move that there.” So she's like really involved in that process. But in that song, like Kenny had sent a text message and he's like, “Oh, you guys like I'm seeing all these songs, we need like a song.” 

He's got this like, he's like a real New York guy. “I guess I, you know, doonas. I feel it's really that song, put with the whole thing together, you know, like it’s strong.” And so he's like, “yeah, we got to write something about a Generation C. See, you know, have you heard about this?” And I was like, “I hadn't heard about it.” And I'm like, “what is this?” And he's like, you know, and so we're talking having this dialogue as dads, as fathers. And then also talking about what our kids are going through. And then I'm like talking to Alisha. Michael's talking to his wife and partner…

Alisha: Who's my best friend.

Justin: Oh, perfect. Perfect. 

Lucky: Yeah. So my writing partner is Alisha's best friends husband from college. 

Alisha: My roommate from college, who's a therapist. And our husbands now are creative writing partners.

Justin: So cool. That's awesome.

Lucky: So we are very, we have a very tight relationship, Michael and I. And I just kind of thought like, and I had written this little thing and Kenny's like this really big deal producer. He works with like Langhorne Slim and, you know, Sean Lennon and all these like really important people. And I'm like, oh. And he's like, yeah, you got to go write this thing. You call me tomorrow with a song and I'm like, Oh, my god. Can't talk right now because I want to show up. You know, I don't want to be like, okay, I don't know, Kenny. I was like, so I'm like, you know, like go in my room, like toiling away, trying to come up with something and so I got this little thing. And I said and I start kind of just we start kind of text messaging it back and forth.

Alisha: And Michael.

Lucky: And Michael, Michael and I, and Kenny is like, “this is great, you know!” So that we like kind of, and I just and it's all pulled from real life experiences, like it felt that. Yeah, you know, like the first lines that “there's a life that happened yesterday, I don't remember much, but I know that I can play outside.” Right. That's all I know about it, because our kids have such a short, at least our young children don't have a memory that's that long. 

Justin: And then like, yeah, shortly after that it was like in the song I remember like canceled birthday parties. It was like the first part was like, oh yeah.

Lucky: Right. And so like and then, you know, I just love pop music. So I think my most favorite song is like, Weezer has a new song called like All My Favorite Songs Make Me Sad. 

And so, like all my favorite songs make me sad.

Alisha: Oh god, they're the worst.

Lucky: It's like they give me the moany, groanys. I mean it's, I want to listen to like, you know, the Pixies or the Cure or something. You know, R.E.M.

Audra: Totally.

Justin: But at the same time, this song is really joyful, too. I mean, it's kind of owning this identity and then also owning all the things that, some of the joyful parts like I can still play outside, you know.

Lucky: Yeah. And I think that that's the hope in it, right. Like is just the hope that we all have to have to keep going. And I think that that's what's really represented there in the sense that I don't know how this will identify with our children. I don't know how this time will impact our kids. 

But I know it'll be a monumental time, you know. Like I didn't, wasn't alive during World War II. But I know that so many things were shaped out of the depression and people like I mean, you know what I mean? And as a kid, I was fascinated by WWII history. And so as an adult, I'm fascinated with, you know, everything that happened during the war. But I think at this time we'll have some kind of and a very disposable instant culture we live in. This will have long-lasting repercussions. So it'll remain to be seen how you know, it'll you know…

Alisha: It's interesting. A lot of, you know, Lucky’s book came out like he mentions, and there were creative projects that came out of, you know, obviously of the pandemic like that. And then for me, I voiced a puppet cartoon-type thing on PBS during this time. It's called Pandemic Playhouse.

Audra: It was so incredible.

Alisha: Yeay! So we did all that, Like we had to record, you know, in our little home studio. And there were a lot of difficulties, but it was a really great project. And now it's available on all PBS platforms. I play Facty, which is typecasting, I think; who is like obsessed with actual facts and making sure that everybody knows them.

Justin: That felt true for you.

Alisha: Yeah. I was literally like, I don't need to study this character, like that was really fun to do. I love doing voiceover work. And I, you know, we stayed very busy. 

But personally, I was able to pivot back to writing more intentionally. So my writing partner and I make sort low optioned a movie to Four Leaf Productions. It's an untitled wedding movie. It has a title, but I can't say it. So we optioned a movie and we've been through like three drafts to the producers and hopefully we’re done. And then it'll be out.

Audra: Wow. Is it a comedy?

Alisha: It is. It's a rom-com. It's really funny. I mean, it is really funny. I love it. And I've written like another sitcom and have it with another production company and two shows I wrote for Hallmark. So...

Lucky: She's so busy that like I just feel like ashamed if I'm not doing that. 

Audra: But I hear this. It's quite a list. I mean, this is quite an incredible, you know, pandemic list of things you've been working on. It sounds like you've been going back to your comedic roots.

Alisha: Yeah, I think it's like it's been an opportunity, I mean, I went to New York University, Tisch School of the Arts for acting. So I was like, I got to spend time, you know, on the Sydney Opera House and on Broadway and on television. And then when I met Lucky, like this weird thing happened with kids music. And I loved performing. And then that's why I love the television show most, I guess, in the live shows, whereas I kind of work as the producer of things, as we all know, like now that I'm crazy organized. I don't have a songwriting music background except as a singer. 

So, you know, and I've always when I met him, I was touring as a standup comic. And that's how we met. He saw me on stage at the Comedy Store and stalked me. But it worked out. But, you know, and while I was writing, you know, monologue books and acting. But now it's kind of like my writing partner, Meg and I actually met before Lucky and I met. We've been doing comedy together, live, for about 15 years. 

And it kind of, you know, you hope, I always wanted and hoped and prayed for a writing partner that like Meg and I didn't know we didn't know that we were sitting right in front of each other and something happened where an opportunity came up and someone said, does someone have a pitch for a Christmas movie for this star? The celebrity wants to pitch this movie, and here's what the movie's about. And I said, oh, I do. I had nothing. Like, I literally had nothing. That’s how I do all my, I mean, all of them. I was like, yep, I definitely do that. Like, I just, we almost sold a show to this like other network. And it, because I was like, yep, I've got that, calling all the… And so I called Meg in, because Meg is, was, has been writing. She's more. She has more. She has a lot of accolades. She's won a lot of awards. She's written a lot. She was already a screenplay writer. And I called her and said, do you want to write this pitch with me? And we it's going to be presented with all these. And they're pitches like you send the pitches in and then the person picks like, you know, 50, 100 pitches, the one they want to go forward to script. 

And so we worked and we met with the producers in the thing and they picked our pitch. And then from this was like three years, two and a half years ago. And since then, we've like been kind of, I mean, methodically, diligent and unstoppable. I mean, we just keep, we show up, we keep cranking it out. And I'm talking when I say show up during the pandemic with Indiana,not at school. And he was working in other rooms. Indiana was sitting next to me. Our puppy would be on top of me barking and it would be my coffee was sliding off the bed because I didn't have a desk. I was using a desk on my bed, you know like those collapsible...

Audra: Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Right. Right. A tray.

Alisha: Yeah. He was at the desk, recording the new album and working on his book. And so I had the bed desk. And then it's like my computer stopped working, an external mouse. There's like neighbors upstairs in the apartment in L.A. I mean, it was like the worst working conditions, but it's like eventually you have something, right? Eventually if you show up and go to your practice, whatever…

Audra: Persist.

Alisha: Yeah.

Lucky: Yeah. Alisha definitely puts that ten thousand hours to test.

Alisha: So I'll have something like some movie you'll see when it's like that. In a very short time I've pivoted in a very hard direct— and I'm, like I said, I love classes and workshops. So I also will sign up at night time for classes like actual classes with teachers. And I've been studying again, like it's like my Masters and just like do the homework, a little bit in screenwriting classes and television writing classes, because I'm like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to my top potential.

Lucky: I think that's the thing. Like classes are super important to both of us. So we'll take lessons. I mean, I still take guitar lessons.

Audra: Lifelong learning, it sounds like. 

Lucky: Yeah, I was thinking like. Yeah, Harvard courses. 

Alisha: Yeah, we take Harvard online. 

Justin: Lots of like biochemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, so...

Audra: That's important to me too, though. I just have to say lifelong learning and being around people who haven't thrown in the towel on learning, you know, like that's sort of like a baseline thing of just, you know, I don't know, being with people or generating friendships. Like if somebody is like, yeah, no, I just do what I do now and I don't learn any more than.

Lucky: Yeah, that's definitely will test the relationship. I think that like learning and just like, you know, there's a, I read an article once about how people stop. Many people stop listening to new music when they're like 50 or something like that or even younger. And I was like, wow, what a lost opportunity that is, you know, because it's like, oh, what are you listening to these days? And I mean, like, there's so much good, great, amazing content out there. I mean, there's no time.

Alisha: You know, I was thinking about that in terms of our home decoration. Like I love our home, the home we're in right now. It's very, we've every, there’s art, from all of our travels, I love our furniture every piece. But, you know, I don't want it to be a time capsule. I like, I think about this life learning because I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't want it to be a time capsule of this time of when we thought everything was ok. Like my mom every three months gets a totally new hairstyle and every six months gets a new chair, like a sheet or a new rug or a new throw pillows for every season. 

Lucky: Are we going to get new furniture? 

Alisha: Maybe. But, I'm saying not settling into who you think works for you.

Justin: I have another analogy for this. I just read a review of studies like last year on muscle mass in older people. And so basically everybody thinks like you just get older and your muscles go, and that's part of aging. But actually, this review of all the studies shows that it’s actually because people stop moving and start doing stuff. And that actually, if you take a muscle cell of an 80-year-old and put it under a microscope, the muscle cell looks the same as a 20-year-old. And so it's really about continuing to work out. And in this review, they had pictures of like 80-year-old bodybuilders and they were huge and buff. And so basically the idea is that—don't stop. Listen to new music, get new haircuts.

Audra: And in the brain, too, you know, and that's how he felt about moving to Savannah, too, was it was almost like doing crossword and Sudoku or whatever to keep fresh. It's like moving to a new place. You move out of routine.

Lucky: Really shakes it up. 

Audra: Right? Shakes it up, right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because then you're like, wait, that favorite cafe is, no, that's not what it is now. Let's find another one. Like, I mean, let's find something else. I think Alisha, I know Alisha is really good at this also because I'm more of a homebody. I guess…

Alisha: I don’t think that's true at all.

Lucky: Alisha's always on the go.

Alisha: You’re an adventure like we're both adventures in unique ways. And I think you're right. Like new experiences are so important, whether, and I think, like as we talked about at the very beginning, it's important to have those internally and externally. You know, whether or what's pushing us, if it's reading new articles and new music or new ways of meditation or new things that are helping us, and also going to have those like new cafes, making new friendships, making…

Audra: Things through our kids. That they're showing us.

Alisha: It all becomes how we can be more whole, I think.

Justin: Ok, I love the fact that I tried to land the plane and then it kind of took off. Ok, so I just want to make sure so listeners can just follow you, find out more, where?

Lucky: Ok, so you can go to LuckyDiazmusic.com. You can go to the luckyband_ on Instagram or Lucky_Diaz at Twitter or I think we have a Facebook too. Lucky Diaz Band.

Alisha: Good job. I'm really bad at these kind of things. I'm mostly on Instagram at AlishaGaddishere and on Facebook. I talk too much and write too long to be on Twitter that successfully.

Lucky: I'm not good at tweeting. I’d be like I'm having a ham sandwich right now.

Alisha: But truly, if you message me on Instagram and it's like a question or thought or, I usually try to message everybody back, I like to, you know, new people.

Lucky: Yeah. Your books are at that Applause Books.

Alisha: Oh, we'll just anywhere books are sold. So you can get our books and our music. And those are all on PBS.

Audra: So that is one of the most beautiful things, is that we are able to participate in the energy you bring to the world, the work that you share with the world, and all of these different ways and with our families, with our kids. It's really cool. Maybe we can do a book reading sometime or something like that. So I'm sort of like…

Alisha: That would be fun.

Justin: All right. So we have three final questions that we ask every single guest. These are just the like, really, really quick, succinct boom. Yeah. Okay. And then you both can choose to answer together or separately. But the first one is if you could put a Post-it note on every parent's refrigerator tomorrow morning, just put it right there. What would that Post-it note say?

Alisha: “I see you. I hear you. You're doing a great job.”

Audra: Thank you. Thank you.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky, do you have anything to add to that?

Lucky: I mean, how can you add to that? 

Justin: All right. So the next one. Do either of you have a quote that you can recall that you've read or heard recently that's really moved you or changed the way you think or feel?

Alisha: I have one. I was surprised it was, it's by Harriet Tubman. But if you think about when you hear the quote that this is what Harriet Tubman was thinking, it's really amazing. She said, “Every great dream starts with a dreamer.” I mean, if Harriet Tubman was dreaming and doing at the same time, imagine what we can all do.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky. Do you have one?

Lucky: I have a quote, but I feel I'm going to misquote part of it. It's an Eddie Van Halen quote. “You got to care so much that it looks like you don't give a shit.” I think it was something like that. So…

Alisha: That's our life motto. In our house. No, it really is.

Lucky: Give a shit like you don't give it. That's what it was. Something like that. You have to look it out. But it's, I'm paraphrasing,

Audra: It just means like unabashedly, like openly. Like you don't give a shit about repercussions or whatever the fear-based things that people throw your way. Like if you say this and this will happen.

Lucky: It's like if you got to care enough that you don't care. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to.

Audra: You don't care about what people think.

Lucky: Well, I think yeah. And I think he had referred to it as his guitar playing. I think it was like, how do you, so great? He's like, well, I cared so much that I didn't care, you know.

Audra: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Lucky: You know what I mean? Like, it's so effortless when you play. You know, when he played, it was like. But it sounds like that. So, yeah.

Justin: Yeah. I like become so passionate and absorbed. Yeah.

Lucky: Right. Exactly. That you don't care. Yeah.

Justin: Beautiful. 

Ok, so the third and final question is and I like to preface it by saying, you know, as parents, we have these times when we might think, oh, you know, the kids like they’re, the house is a mess or a lot of work or, you know, whatever the case is. And so we just like to end with this question, what do you love about kids? 

Audra: We want to celebrate them. So this is that question.

Alisha: I love… something, I guess, I hope to seek in myself that I hope to reflect to myself, I love how they're just they're unabashed, you know, speaking that I care so much, I don't give a shit. They're unabashed joy and emotive feeling. 

I love when they dance. They aren't judging their bodies and their movement. And when they don’t see who's seeing them and they're doing it for the feeling and the music. And I think there's, you know, the profoundness in childhood, the magic of it, and I hope to prolong it. You know, I love, I want to live in that.

Lucky: I think I was going to say something the same. Like I would say that I love their ability to accept magic as magical. They just do. And children, it's only that adults we get corrupted into seeing. And there's also that famous Picasso quote, you know, “Are we all unseeing by the time we are adults?” Children really see. 

I think their ability to accept magic as magical is magic. When you see your kid at Disneyland and it's or another place and it's like what they see is magic because they accept it. And I think we can do that. You know, I can definitely do that more so daily. Right. Like, you know, wait a second. The fact that we're even existing is magic.

 Alisha: And there is magic.

Lucky: I know it is. I agree. I'm only trying to remind myself, like, you know, doing your laundry or washing your dishes or just going through a process of being like the way I can feel like this water's cold on my hands and I feel the water is and I like this whole experience is like, not to get existential, but it's like it's so much we take for granted magic every day. 

Alisha: I mean, we're on a ball spinning in the world, hurtling through space.

Justin: Right, hurtling through space.

Alisha: That’s not magic?!

Audra: I mean, it's mind-bending. And for kids to not have to be loaded with stories around, I mean, they have stories, but like not the stories, the norm stories around everything. And to be able to approach that all with that wonderment and that, those open eyes and what we can experience through them, like you were saying at the beginning, Lucky, through their optics like that is…

Lucky: There's no rules to anything there, like if you were to take it like, oh, you can grow back like you can grow back a limb, ok, I'm going to grow back. And I'm like, it's like nothing like extreme about it. But their ability to accept things that are supernatural or what we consider supernatural, is just natural. So like, you know, we can all stand to learn from that. I mean, I can.

Justin: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for joining us. This is such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to do it again.

Audra: I can't wait as well. I mean, just the joy that comes from being with you, the incredible energy, this magic. But then I just really want to thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and the fact that you are really willing to connect with us today. We haven't talked in a while. 

We've stayed in touch, but haven't had the chance to have a conversation like this. And that you opened up to us and also to our audience of parents really, really means so much to us. I feel like it's going to resonate with so many people. That's really what so many of us are looking for today, are real conversations, you know, where folks are really getting vulnerable about all of the different things in life. You know, what we're going through as parents and as makers and entrepreneurs and all of these different things, it's really, really important to share.

So thank you.

Alisha: Thank you. Thanks for having us to come on and having this chat. I mean, and, you know, like magic. I told Indiana, our daughter, yesterday that time was like a made-up construct. She was asking about time zones. And I was like, I don’t know, time, like, you know, so. You profoundly affected our hearts. So the time is irrelevant when you, seeing your faces and hearing your voices like it's still you have a, you are meaningful to us. And so we're so grateful to share this with you. So thank you.

Lucky: Yeah, definitely the feeling is mutual. What we all do is so important and touches so many lives.

Alisha: And now you know how crazy we really are.

Audra: Likewise. We're in good company. I think we all are in such and such a beautiful way. That's like the human spirit, right? Like it's just awe-inspiring to me. 

Lucky: It's awesome to see your faces as well.

Justin: Hey, thanks for listening to The Family Thrive podcast. If you like what you heard, please subscribe, tell two friends and head on over to Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts and give us a review. We're so grateful you've chosen to join us on this Family Thrive journey.

Transcript highlights


02:36 

Audra: So where are we talking to you from, where are you? Where in the world?

Alisha: Well, right now, we actually just got back from Los Angeles, we’re in our home in the midwest, in Columbus, Indiana.

Audra: Oh, awesome.


04:25 

Audra: So five years ago, you thought, “Let's get a place outside of L.A. and let's be closer to family and just kind of spread out a little bit.”

Alisha: Yeah. Five years ago was like when we had our daughter and she was born in Los Angeles and her name is Indiana. And that was when we found out about her congenital hole in her heart. And I kind of had a panic attack, like just was, you know, freaking out and thought, I can't do this by myself. I want to be closer to family. It was. 

And so we thought we were going to move here full time. And then I've never lived here my life. I wasn't raised here. My parents moved here when I was living in New York. So I don't come back as like knowing people. But so then we came here in the winter and bought this house that wasn't restored at the time. And we were like, what are we doing here? This isn't this is worse than I had imagined. 

So then our goal was to get back to LA but keep this house. And we've juggled it and then we renovated it. And then we also have a rental space that when our back, Lucky totally renovated the garage into being a beautiful studio and in-law suite. So when we're not here, we can rent that out. We like tried to create ways to make it work for our family. So that way now we kind of get best of both worlds.


07:15 

Lucky: I think we have equality in our relationship that speaks to extending that to our daughter, I guess. And I think that's I guess our location jumping speaks to that, because, you know, I really feel that it's important to honor both of our heritages in our kids. And so there's a real culture that Alisha comes from that I think is very important. And there's a culture that I come from, so we're both very...

Alisha: And they don't exist in the same place. 

Lucky: They don't exist in this house.

Audra: I feel that.

Justin: I love this. And I'm sensing that to the home in Indiana and the home in Los Angeles is really the manifestation of a theme in your lives and in your work. That is, there's is this like entertainment, you know, artistic side. See, that is the LA. And then it's like about kids and about family and about, you know, like home. And so you have the Indiana part and the. Yeah, it seems perfect for you.


17:27 

Audra: Sorry. I'm just so curious about the bubble and all of that. And before we get into Justin's questions, which are awesome, And your background and how you met and all these great things. I do want to just check in on Indiana. You mentioned that she has a congenital heart, a hole in her heart. It's a congenital effect, if you will. What, how’s she doing?

Alisha: Thanks for asking, and she's doing great, I mean, great as a like, you know, hitting all the physical markers that she should. You know, it was interesting. She just entered kindergarten. And I mean, talk about the anxiety and the stress.

Audra: Oh, yeah. 

Alisha: I mean, we just didn't know what to do. So we ended up putting her in a small Montessori school, because at the moment it's Covid guidelines.

Audra: Yes. 

Alisha: Yeah. Literally I was like...

Lucky: And they had the smallest population.

Alisha: The smallest population, wonderful, wonderful teachers. 

Lucky: It has a lot of things going for it. 

Alisha: It’s outside. Like, it was like checking the most boxes.

Lucky: I mean, I'm a product of that as a young child.

Alisha: My parents are public school teachers. So it took a lot. My mom was a public school kindergarten teacher for 35 years. 

Audra: Wow. 

Alisha: Yeah, amazing. And my friends are all kindergarten teachers. Like literally they're all teachers in the public school. So anywho I digress. 

But part of it was before we went, that was before we came here. We had to go to her biannual cardiology appointment. And she was supposed to have heart surgery before entering kindergarten. And so it was just like I mean, my tendency when we go to intense doctor's appointments is I start blacking out and like I can't process information. So we've come up with and it was only one person at a time can go into these big things because of Covid. And usually he like, I deal with her and he kind of processes what's being told to us. And this time he couldn't come in. 

So I had to FaceTime the doctor and be like, here, talk just to my husband while I look at all the heart monitors in the dark room. And previously, she had they had there was like a flap of skin that looked like it was kind of like just, kind of flapping over the hole. And it wasn't there this time, which was a huge let down. And there's nothing you can do about that. 

But at the same time, he was like, let's hold off on the heart surgery because she's doing fine. She can literally live with this up until a certain point, and then she may experience all these horrible things. But if she's not at this moment, then it's ok. And she's very aware of her condition. She knows, mask-wearing has been trickier because she has a problem processing oxygen so she can't get enough. It's like her heart works double to get the oxygen. 

Audra: Right. 

Alisha: So it's like intense mask wearers and he hears a lot. And we have her wear a mask outside. So it's a lot when she goes to school and it was 106 and she has a mask on. And so it’s a lot to process. But she knows, she knows what to do. She knows to like hopefully. 

So that's you know, as a mom and dad, I can't speak for you, but I will. But as like a dad, parents letting her off and to not being able to be like, take your mask off, go to the side, take your drink of water, breathe, because she gets, you know. So you have to kind of prep the teachers. And her teachers have been amazing. But she's doing well, like psychologically, she's doing super well physically. I mean, we couldn't ask for more, really. 


24:07 

Justin: All right, so between you both, you have produced over a dozen records, a television show, several books, have won multiple Emmy Awards, Grammy Awards, a Parent's Choice Gold Award from the Parents Choice Foundation, a National Parenting Product Award. And I just want to like, you guys are a big deal. So am I missing anything?

Audra: And the Grammy is also Latin Grammy, right? Like, many, I feel like it was this was more than once. 

Justin: I said awards, plural. 

Audra: This is an incredible list, you two. What did we miss?

Justin: Well, oh, you know, what's coming up for me right away is I have heard that for artists, performers who, you know, achieve the awards, you know, they get this recognition that they can still have a sense of like, “Oh, my God, what's the next thing?” And so is this for you? Like, do you experience that?

Lucky: I just talked about this this morning. That’s our morning conversation.

Alisha: Every morning we're like, we're doing this like…

Justin: Oh, my gosh, that's what I've heard. And so you like you get the awards, like you get the gold star.

Audra: You're some of the most accomplished human beings on this earth. 

Justin: Like you're doing great and then, you know, you wake up the next day and like, ok, what's the next thing?

Audra: It’s not enough.

Alisha: Yeah. I mean… Yes.

Lucky: It's very hard but what you said is 100 percent.

Alisha: And it's hard when you put out things and then they're done, you know, and it's hard to know what the next goal is. And it's you know, it sounds like, wahhh wahhh. But it's like when you accomplish these huge things that you wanted. We're both trying to be like, what is it now that we really do actually? 

What do we want to do, in like our souls and hearts, coupled with like the doubt and the fear and the self-loathing that is in our heads as artists. And we both share that. So it's like thankfully often it's not at the same time. So, yeah.

Justin: So you take turns. Oh, yes. 

Audra: You coach each other. 

Lucky: I think that it's overwhelming. That feeling is overwhelming and creating things. And then sometimes you just don't. I think we all get, me personally. I could only speak for myself in the sense that the reason I make things is because I've always thought it was just so much fun. I've always found so much fulfillment out of creating things. And I feel that it's part of one of life's gifts to be able to have an ability just to create stuff. 

And for a long time, I just thought everybody created things instantly. And I think I was like a teenager or something and, or maybe in college. And I was talking to someone about even writing a song or, you know, if you asked me to write a song about like Mayo and tomato, like, yeah, sure I can do that. I can literally do that. Right. And I was talking to this person and they were like, “Oh, like I could never, I don't even know. I wouldn't even know where to start with that.” Right. And then it occurred to me that not everyone is like everyone has special abilities, but not everyone has the same ability. And then those abilities are then like in different levels of like depending on how much effort you give them either. 

But I thought like it's a benefit and a detriment to want and have this, right, because like, you know, in your heart, you want to keep making things. And then it's so sometimes such a struggle to make things. And then when you get like this, these huge validations that are like, you're so great at making them, and then you're like, oh, but I'm a fraud because that stuff isn't as good as you think it is. And so like every day, it's like it's a real struggle, I think that sees it...

Alisha: And we're different in that way. He has a very much like we talk about like imposter syndrome.

Audra: Oh, that's what I was just thinking, like creative imposter syndrome or whatever. 

Alisha: Mine's more of like a perfectionist tendency and wanting to just like produce more, better, faster, in a more profound way. Like, hey, you're...

Lucky: Yeah, you're really. Yeah, that's...

Alisha: Like, you like to produce things and then doubt it immediately or like get an award and it's like not good enough. And I'm like, ok, I got this. I have to do better. Very like, I have to make another goal, like quickly. 

Audra: I identify with you, Alisha, for sure. And I think Justin's more on the side of the nagging imposter syndrome, like checking out your work.

Justin:  Actually, I feel like what you both said, like I feel like the above. I feel very doubtful and like an imposter. And I need to produce a bunch more. And I know...

Lucky: Yeah, well, yeah. And you always and you're always like thinking, wow, I have to like, make more. And I think I could work breakfast today. Usually on weekends we do like a brunch, right? We'll do like a family brunch. We all sit down and we have it. That's not to say we don't do it during the week now, but...

Alisha: We usually go to the farmer's market on Saturday, buy all fresh things, and then Lucky and Indiana make a big breakfast.

Audra: Ohhh. Great. 

Lucky: … I am having a dialogue with myself about like, well, maybe I just need to stop making things, maybe just for a second to get myself permission to just break. And I think that a good lesson for creatives that I'm only learning myself is that just because you feel like you achieved this one thing and then like it's done like you're so set, you're going to wake up every day and you're like, well…

Alisha: The world’s gonna be different. 

Lucky: Just like I did this thing and everyone thought it was cool and everything's great. And I know like and I literally told Alisha two days ago, like, “Am I like any good at this? Like, I don't even know what I'm doing.” Like that's a real conversation we're having on the porch as we're sitting, watching, like people walk their dog. 

Alisha: I’m like “You ask me this every day.” That was my answer. He asked me every day, like. Yes, you’re amazing.

Lucky: Yeah. And I mean, I think there's like aspects of like, you know, I'm like, “Oh, well, maybe my studio needs this thing, this microphone or this amplifier, this thing to really make me better, right? Or maybe I'm going to find inspiration in that.” And sometimes, most often I do. I find a little bit of, like a little salt and that'll be like, oh, this little flavor there.

Alisha: That’s important though.

Lucky: And that ignites it, right? Because the gear or the guitars or the stuff for me isn't about the stuff or accumulating it. It's about the inspiration that it brings in the story that it also brings with it, right? Like, who owned this? Like what did they make with this thing? Is it going to give me the permission to make something now? Right. And I think that like but also that's a slippery, dangerous slope, because then you find yourself with like, well, I have this stuff and I still haven't created anything like…

Alisha: Well, that's because you've made something internal external. Right? So like what Lucky’s describing is taking his anxiety and self-doubt manifestations, putting it looking for outward change and not dealing with the voice in his head.

Audra: Oh, that’s powerful…

Justin: Ok, now… I was going to talk about this stuff or find a way to talk about later on, but like this is. Yeah. So this feels like there's a lot of room here for doing some serious inner work. And one thing that I've learned as a parent is that the more inner work that I do, therapy, different... 

Audra: Emotional processing. 

Justin: Yeah. Processing practices and relationship skills and all the stuff, the more work I do on this, the more I can show up for my partner, for my kids. And, but then for you, there's this added thing of like the more you show up in your creativity, in your work. And so I'm curious, like what sort of. I'm not sure exactly the right word to use here. Modalities, therapies, self-work.

Audra: Is there anything that works for you? Was there anything that helps? 

Justin: Yeah. 

Alisha: Oh, my gosh, you all. I have tried everything during this pandemic because I think some of our ways of dealing with things were intake, which were new experience, travel, those kind of things that then we can internalize. But when you're taken, when you're quarantined in a pandemic, you have to take a real good look at yourself and your partner, like what you're saying. And looking about, I have always been big proponents of therapy, and it's been very hard to get a new therapist in this climate. Therapists are booked to the closet.

Audra: Oh, yeah...

Alisha: All my friends who are therapists, all my friends were trying to go to therapists. I mean, everyone is booked. I personally, a big proponent, we both are of journaling every day. We talk a lot. I do a meditation almost every day. I have like, I'm talking crystal, tarot.

Justin: Oh, love it.

Alisha: Breathing workshops. Anything that you can do to center yourself or stoppings. I'm talking like tea at night, wine at night. 

Justin: Wine in the morning.


36:49 

Justin: You're the one who is going to look for different therapeutic approaches. So you mentioned all these different things. So I just have a curiosity. What right now is like really working for you or like what right now seems to be really important?

Alisha: Well, it's 140. Ok, this is like 140. Today's the day I got to sleep in. This morning, I woke up last night. I set my crystals out. This is like last night I set my crystals out for some moonlight energy. I lit candles for release and gratefulness, meditated before I went to bed to “Let's Heal the Shit” by Emily Churchhill. A free thing to do. Then I listen to more, another meditation on Calm and read a mindful magazine with a cup of tea. I woke up this morning. I journaled in bed while cuddling my daughter and dog, and he brought coffee. I then did a tarot card and got up and listened to the music. We listened to Django Reinhardt and danced a little bit. This was like before, like those are the things I do with it in like every like, that's just like a snippet. 

So when I say I'm desperately searching for ways to quell my anxiety because I get not just panic attacks, full-on panic, panic attacks isn’t the right word, anxiety attacks. What's the one that's worse, where you have like total mental breakdowns and like can't breathe?

Audra: Panic attack.

Alisha: Hyperventilating… 

Justin: Yeah, I think so. Panic attacks for sure.

Lucky: That only happens very suddenly though.

Alisha: Yeah, exactly. Like the anxiety and like crying. Like very cathartic. Like I try to let myself feel all this great, you know, because, you know, we cry, cry and journal it. And then, but I have to, I have to stay on top of my anxiety, especially in these times, because I think one of my strengths is controlling things. Lists making, control like I control our, like I'm very organized and very…

Lucky: Yeah, Alisha does all our finances, all, anything that requires smart brains. There's an art.

Alisha: Well, it's an odd thing because I'm a creative, but with a real organized…

Justin: Well, that's the Midwestern part of you right?

Alisha: Yeah, I think so. But in order because there's so many variables right now that I can't change, like yesterday we had this trip planned, that was the redo for my birthday party because of Covid. And now we're not going to take this trip because it's going to be another Covid birthday. And that's these small things that are adding up, that feel like they're breaking me. Like they're like I just feel a heaviness. So I have to be proactive so that I can be, like you said Justin, a present mindful parent.

Lucky: But I think, just from observing Alisha, though, I have to say that I think the number one thing that Alisha does in order for me to, I think as a therapeutic device is talking. Alisha, loves…
Audra: It's so good. 

Justin: It's therapeutic. Yes, it's as you said before, it is bringing what's inside outside. Your processing…

Lucky: And she's so good at it.

Alisha: With our daughter, I process.

Lucky: Processing. That's it, Justin. That's it. That's number one. Right. So it's kind of like, you know, oh, I like I, I like...

Alisha: I reach out to community and process there. I have an amazing support group and other moms and different this mom group. I'm in the pile and they're amazing. And then, but processing with Lucky and processing with our daughter.

Lucky: It's a lot of talking.

Alisha: It’s a lot of talking. 

Lucky: Our eldest daughter is like, I don't... 

Alisha: When she was little. She was like...

Lucky: She was like, I don't want to talk about anything else. And I mean, I think that it's important, though, because, you know, Alisha is really good at identifying like problems, like let's say like, you know, I burn something and I'm like, you know, freak out in the kitchen like, “Oh, man, that was expensive cheese.” And, you know, it's all like, you know what I mean?

Alisha: My new phrase to him is, I say, “Is that a proper emotional response? Let's just take a pause.”

Lucky: You know, it’s not about burning the cheese. It's not about the way you know, that's…

Justin: Yeah. Yeah, right. Right. Yeah, because the proper emotional, like my response would be like, well, it's my emotional response and it's my emotional truth. Alright, let me stress out about it. But your deeper question is right. Like this isn't about the cheese Lucky. Like, what is this really about? Yeah. Right.

Alisha: Right. So if you said like this is my response, like I would be like, that's valid like that. That is valid that you're having that anger.

Lucky: And unfortunately, I have a lot of like maybe my old man in me that's more like old school, like, you know, you know, rub some dirt on it, you know what I mean? Kind of vibe.

Justin: Well, that's what happens. So that's what I've learned, because practically every boy, at least in America, is raised to repress, you know, like stop the crying. Keep it out. Control, control, control. Yeah. And so I this I don't remember who said this, but yeah, what is not expressed gets repressed. And I feel like that's exactly like men now. They grow up in their like they've repressed all this stuff for their whole life. And then it comes out in explosions. It's like, why did dad just lose his shit like that?


47:55 

Audra: It sounds like to me you both are incredibly self-aware and incredibly open with each other. I'm really just taking it all in. I think it's beautiful. Yeah, it's just really, really beautiful. 

How open you are and how does this translate your processing of your childhoods, of that expression, of for Lucky for you, your inner child maybe getting to express himself in a way that he never could as a child. Right. How your Midwest upbringing in these very pragmatic ways, but then your, for Alisha going to LA and being able to express yourself as an artist and then digging into your inner work and digging in to support yourself. All of the realizations you had around all of this, how has that affected you both as parents? And you have an age spread, too. So I'd love to hear like affected you as parents, like with kids at very different ages.

Alisha: Wow, that’s a lot of thoughts.

Lucky: I think at the end of the day, like for Alisha and I both like, you know, I think we want to lead as examples for our kids to know that being who they are is what's most important, truly. Right. So. And I joke about this, and I just heard this a million times, but, you know, if our daughter wants to be, or any of our girls, if they want to be an electrician, well, then and they love electricity and they love being electrician. I want them to be the like the most passionate electrician ever did ever to live. 

Whatever their passions are. That's really what I want for them. I feel like that's what we as parents are able to provide. Giving them the awareness and permission to just be themselves. Right. And I think that there's always this very linear kind of path and, you know, North American like parenting and success or whatever that looks like. You know, it's like, oh, you're going to go to college and you're going to do this and you're going to get a good job. 

Audra: And then and then. Right.

Lucky: But the problem with that is we all know is that it's a never-ending cycle. And then people find themselves like around our age or my age and being like, what did I do with my whole life? You know, like what, right?

Audra: Trying to find themselves. Right.

Lucky: So I think it's like for us and for me, I think like trying to just set an example of being like, hey, you can create whatever life you want, just as long as you're finding joy and hopefully providing joy for other people or your community, that I think it's a win. Right? It's a success, you know, and finding whatever it is that they're great at or impassioned about, that's the path I think that, I think in this lesson. 

You know, Alisha and I have faced many obstacles and I've had many opportunities, but I also feel that there is a certain kind of courage that we both have, like had to give to one another and to each have within ourselves to do it. So like, you know, there's been many times where I'm like, “I can't go on.” Alisha's like, “you got to keep going.” And then Alisha’s like, “I can't go on.” I'm like, “you got to keep going.” 

And it's like because at the end of day, you know, like I always used this idea, like, you know, I always wanted to go to Tokyo. Right. And so Alisha and I were like, I don't remember what year it was, but we were living in those fields in Los Angeles. And I was, you know, still she had just kind of started going back to her other family's house to spend some time. And I remember waking up one day thinking like, you know, I've always wanted to go to Tokyo and I was, I've been waiting for an opportunity for like life to be like, hey, you're going to go to Japan. Right. 

And it just hadn't showed up yet. I'm like, how much room I got on this credit card. I was just thinking, literally, I was like, how much room I got on that. Ok, cool. I'm going to go on Delta.com. What if I had tickets to go and I'm going to try to figure out like when we can go for how long. Because my thought, like you're never going to remember the money it didn't have. But I can tell you what it felt like to see Japan, just the coast of Japan as you're flying into Japan. And what we had for dinner that very first night, I can oh, I can tell you that I think that that's how I want to live life. And just even having this conversation reminds me. Yes, yes, yes. Keep going down this route because you're not going to, because you know who's going to remember. And I can't tell you how much money we didn't have. I can't tell you any of those things. But I can tell you that it was something that was so meaningful. 

And I know it's, I'm not trying to be hedonistic. And I know that you both can speak to this in ways that I can't imagine where it's like this is this. It is this. This is the moment. Right. So let's make something happen. And if you don't, then you may regret it. Just do this, right? Just honor it. Honor this moment. Honor this relationship. Honor this family. Honor this existence. Because, you know, so often in the last, like especially the last 20 months, we've lost a lot of friends. Like lost. They're gone now. And so it's kind of like this is all we got right now, that I can speak to. But if you can lead by example for our own kids anyways, I think that that's the best thing to do, and our daughters have really benefited from that kind of thought.

Audra: It sounds like I mean, it sounds like a real powerful perspective on, to me, an abundance mindset and not taking things for granted in life like. Really, really focusing on trying to be present and treasuring our time together and treasuring our relationships and our family like some of the most powerful things that we can do together with our time on this earth. Right.


55:56 

Alisha: So I'm trying to learn as a parent that my way isn't the way for her, which we you know, I was younger when I was parenting Ella, and coming in as a step-parent. So I didn't get the chance to fully use all the tactics I had and am able to now. But I think like with Indiana, you know, it's just an interesting, it's interesting when you notice your kids are different than you and they're teaching you and you're trying to gather with passion, with grace.

Audra: That's a powerful observation. And I think something that is amazing that you're honoring in your children and so beautiful. Like that's something that has been a real revelation to me as well. 

And I look at my kids instead of as mini me’s, which is kind of how I thought I was going to think when we had kids, you know, like there are going to be like some, you know, equation of us. Right. And then to see you are your own human being, like this is mind-blowing. Right. And so beautiful. And it's for me to work on kind of myself and my reactions and my issues and the things that I bring to this so that I can support you in being you.

Alisha: Yes. And speaking to that, it's like, you know, some of the things we were taught as kids that what are, what we're bringing into it that we think is right. One of the things that I try to do a lot is I'll start I'll start saying something like she'll be doing something, say, jumping on our couch. And I was absolutely not allowed to jump on a couch. And I and this was maybe last year I started to say, “stop jumping on the couch.” And then I'm like, wait, do I actually feel that way? Do I? Pause. Pause. Why am I telling her to stop?

Lucky: Only you can do this. I mean, it's amazing.

Audra: Getting curious about yourself.

Alisha: Yeah. In the moment, creating the truth of what our familial dynamic is. Like, I know she's not going to go to somebody else's house and jump on a couch. I know she can go to the Louvre and not touch a statue or run. I know. I know who my child is. So she wants to jump on a couch and not knock something down, like what? Like, I don't. It's ok.And I bring that up is like a micro thing to a macro situation of who we are and also being open to evolving to what we really want to be in our relationships. Right. Like learning from each other. So I'm trying. I have no idea.

Justin: So I've heard a lot of or what I'm hearing is how your art and your work has affected your parenting and the lessons that you're taking into parenting. And I'm wondering if there's anything moving the other way of like parenting affecting art. And what has that been like?

Lucky: I mean, I think that it's a profound experience to be a parent, because I always think that you get optics from your children that you didn't have before. 

You know, and I remember like Indiana being small and just looking, she's like look at, look at the, we were on a walk just her and I and she's like, look at the trees, look at and she has this like what kind of magic she has this magic that Alisha has, that she's able to see things in different ways. And not that I don't just see a tree, but she's looking up. And I thought to myself, we'd been on this walk, you know, a dozen times or something, right, in that month and I had not even looked up. And I nodded and taken the opportunity to actually see what was happening from our own perspective. And I was like, whoa, this is really cool. Wow. This is really beautiful. 

This is the way she sees the world. I didn't see that. And I think it's been a huge gift for me to be able to see things through her optics, through her eyes, literally and figuratively, because she's also she comes up with like all these amazing ideas and all that similar things. And it's kind of like, whoa, like I never really thought about that. But it opens up these opportunities. 

And Alisha is a little, she's better at being there for that, being present anyways. And so, like my daily struggle is being more aware and present in that but it also gives me the ability of the show. I had mentioned earlier just to play. I love playing. I love making up things. You know, if we even, if we were adults without any children, imagine it like, ok, for the next 10 minutes, you're going to take figurines and you're going to make a dialog. Right. 

And people were like, this is insane. That's crazy. How much better would we all be if we had that opportunity just to play with figurines, right. And just be right and just have that dramatic therapy of just being like, I had a bad day at work, man, I'm going to eat your face off, you know, like, you know, just even working through that.

Audra: Oh, it's such a good point. Such a good point. That's authentic relating.


1:07:21 

Lucky: I mean, I've seen my parents maybe in that way, but I know for a fact that my girls have seen me in like ways that's like, wow, that's really who you are. And that is like that kind of gift is profound because it's like this is who I am. I think like, you know, Micah and I know you know who a player is who illustrates a lot of our projects and stuff. 

And Micah and I were always talking about as fathers, like leaving something to our kids. Right. What's the legacy that we're leaving? And I think that that's part of the game, too, for us, is just having this legacy left, right, of like honesty and bravery and and just total, just I don't know, just transparency in the sense that like I know my dad, like I know that my girls can be like I know my dad, I know who he is. And I think that that's such a rare opportunity, you know, because we're also protecting ourselves, too, right. And there's a vulnerability that… 

Alisha: I think you hit on something of like parents and talking about parenting and what we want to give to our kids, letting our kids see us be vulnerable. Like the other day, I was crying because I was like I mentioned, I had this peak of like it was all too much again, you know, sending her to for saying in Indiana. 

So she hugged me and she kind of started laughing. She was like, “Are you crying for real mama or are you...?” And I said, “no, I'm crying because I'm feeling my big feelings right now and I'm going to move through them and it'll be ok. But I'm feeling really sad right now, and that's ok.” Then it was ok. Then we played again. Right. But like, I think letting your kids see your passion, like your true passion, unbridled passion. 

Like you said, our kids see us like live in these huge ways and huge stages for a lot of people. But then they see us in our own home with that same passion that's just for them and that same vulnerability that we can share collectively. And I think that you're right, that also shapes their emotional landscape, something I hope our daughter carries forward.

 Audra: Sharing your true joys and pain, processing your emotions together, sharing in your art, your creativity, your energetic work, all of that stuff. It's so counter to how so many of us were raised, which was in a performance, a performance of parenting. What are you supposed to do as a parent? I'm supposed to do what my parents did. There's a role, right? Just a role is not who we thought about, who we really are. And I think that we are seeing parenting together. And I don’t speak for all of us. But it sounds like we're seeing parenting in a different way.

Lucky: I would agree. I think generationally it's different for sure. And I think that the conversations as like fathers, like I again, I mentioned Micah because he's a creative partner and a man that I work with and have these conversations with about what that's like being of this time and another time that didn't exist and being a product of another time and going into another time. Right. And evolving together and the evolution of what that looks like and yeah, for sure. 

And then and then trying to figure out what fathering means, what parenting means out being a man is supposed to look like to you know, and I think that like hanging up, like it's an everyday process of being like, wait, you know, ok, so what? It's like what are gender roles like? Oh, I didn't mean to be like that about it. Like, you know, I you know, I recently said and I really regret it, like, you know, I just felt really badly about it. Like we had some friends over and they have two boys. And I was like, oh, and they were like creating a ruckus or something. I'm like, oh, they're just boys, you know, they're just being boys or whatever it was. It was a passing statement because it was the energy. It was just not it was, it was not thought through. Right. 

And I felt really badly about it. But these are the kinds of events like situations and experiences that I think dads and people, men of this generation or my generation are experiencing. Right. Because it's so ingrained about like I don't have any, you know, Alisha, I don't have any gender, you know, assignments to anything. Right. Whether they're colors. And in fact, we're always fighting against gender norms. But I think I always have those conversations of being you know, that's like saying like, hey, guys, how you doing, guys?

Audra: I'm unlearning that hardcore.

Justin: I think we're all of the generation. We grew up like kids. Like “guys.” “What's up, guys?” Oh, so right. As a college instructor it's, over the past several years has been so difficult because all it just slips out. 

Lucky: It does, and that's…

Justin: Guys, can you check out this? And then. So the last year, I just made a point. I was like, I'm just going to apologize every time I do that, and I'm going to continue and I'll try to do better.

Alisha: But that's a credible evolution, like the fact that these you know, it's the unlearning. And I think that's the, I think even letting people see that we acknowledge that we are unlearning by new learning. Because I'll do the same thing is as you all, I'll be like, oh, I'm I'm really sorry. I'm going to restart like, hey, all I know that sounds stupid. I'm trying not to say this. And even like letting our children see that, too. 

Audra: Absolutely. 

Alisha: That's a big deal. Like Indiana came back from her second day of kindergarten and she was a little bit upset. And I didn't, I honestly didn't know how to address it. She said Indiana or she said, “Mama, like there's a boys bathroom and a girl's bathroom and there's not a them bathroom.” And this is something I speak to her a lot about, like she'll be well, she'll say, oh, they're that and then let's not assign them pronouns, you know, unless we know. Unless like because we have a lot of friends who are children, who are they/them and because that's the world. And for the first time, I was taken aback about what my answer should be, because I didn't expect that to be like the thing she took from kindergarten day two. Right. 

I was like, well, you know…I like she'd asked me this real hurtful thing that was valid, like I've said. And this I think I said something. I bumbled through it and I said, you know, someone, “one of your friends or you or someone needs to, comes up and it doesn't feel comfortable going into either the bathrooms. Let them know that we are safe people to talk to.” And I asked her if she went to the school requesting the gender neutral bathroom, and she was like, no, it's ok for now. I just really didn't know why they made that choice. And then she turned around. 

Audra: Were you so proud of her?



1:23:12 

Alisha: Like, you know what I'm saying? Like it's like we're trying consciously and subconsciously in our house. I can't speak for the world, but when we create art, we are very mindful, almost kind of too mindful. Sometimes we can't. But the outcome is positive.



1:27:28 

Justin: We don't want to use up your entire day, and so I kind of...

Audra: I know we could.

Justin: So I would love to have you back on and we could talk more about this. But as we sort of land this plane, I just want to be sure to ask. We've heard about books. You have a new, you have at least one new... Can you just give us a lay of the land? What is out right now and where can listeners find out more about you?

Lucky: We have a new album that came out June.

Alisha: I don't even know what day it is.

 Lucky: It's called Crayon Kids, and it's available where all music is streaming. 

Justin: Yes, it's fantastic. I mean, it's so great.

Alisha: It is relevant, it’s powerful. 

Justin: So I just wanted to ask about Generation C. So, I mean, the album starts. It's such an amazing song because it, I’ve listened to it now a bunch of times because it's like, how does this song make me feel so sad and happy at the same time? And so I just wanted to ask you about writing this song that feels really emotionally complex.

Lucky: It's a really great question. So basically, it's the last song that we wrote for that EP, that album. The project started out as like three songs, and then it turned into nine songs. 

My writing partner in it, Michael Farkas, who I wrote it with, and Kenny Siegel, who's the other writer on that particular song, it’s the only song on our album that has all three of us writing together. 

Because some of them I kind of write by myself, but ultimately Michael and I split the writing credit and then, you know, like I'll pass something through Alisha where she's like, “Oh, I like this, I like that there, move that there.” So she's like really involved in that process. But in that song, like Kenny had sent a text message and he's like, “Oh, you guys like I'm seeing all these songs, we need like a song.” 

He's got this like, he's like a real New York guy. “I guess I, you know, doonas. I feel it's really that song, put with the whole thing together, you know, like it’s strong.” And so he's like, “yeah, we got to write something about a Generation C. See, you know, have you heard about this?” And I was like, “I hadn't heard about it.” And I'm like, “what is this?” And he's like, you know, and so we're talking having this dialogue as dads, as fathers. And then also talking about what our kids are going through. And then I'm like talking to Alisha. Michael's talking to his wife and partner…

Alisha: Who's my best friend.

Justin: Oh, perfect. Perfect. 

Lucky: Yeah. So my writing partner is Alisha's best friends husband from college. 

Alisha: My roommate from college, who's a therapist. And our husbands now are creative writing partners.

Justin: So cool. That's awesome.

Lucky: So we are very, we have a very tight relationship, Michael and I. And I just kind of thought like, and I had written this little thing and Kenny's like this really big deal producer. He works with like Langhorne Slim and, you know, Sean Lennon and all these like really important people. And I'm like, oh. And he's like, yeah, you got to go write this thing. You call me tomorrow with a song and I'm like, Oh, my god. Can't talk right now because I want to show up. You know, I don't want to be like, okay, I don't know, Kenny. I was like, so I'm like, you know, like go in my room, like toiling away, trying to come up with something and so I got this little thing. And I said and I start kind of just we start kind of text messaging it back and forth.

Alisha: And Michael.

Lucky: And Michael, Michael and I, and Kenny is like, “this is great, you know!” So that we like kind of, and I just and it's all pulled from real life experiences, like it felt that. Yeah, you know, like the first lines that “there's a life that happened yesterday, I don't remember much, but I know that I can play outside.” Right. That's all I know about it, because our kids have such a short, at least our young children don't have a memory that's that long. 

Justin: And then like, yeah, shortly after that it was like in the song I remember like canceled birthday parties. It was like the first part was like, oh yeah.

Lucky: Right. And so like and then, you know, I just love pop music. So I think my most favorite song is like, Weezer has a new song called like All My Favorite Songs Make Me Sad. 

And so, like all my favorite songs make me sad.

Alisha: Oh god, they're the worst.

Lucky: It's like they give me the moany, groanys. I mean it's, I want to listen to like, you know, the Pixies or the Cure or something. You know, R.E.M.

Audra: Totally.

Justin: But at the same time, this song is really joyful, too. I mean, it's kind of owning this identity and then also owning all the things that, some of the joyful parts like I can still play outside, you know.

Lucky: Yeah. And I think that that's the hope in it, right. Like is just the hope that we all have to have to keep going. And I think that that's what's really represented there in the sense that I don't know how this will identify with our children. I don't know how this time will impact our kids. 

But I know it'll be a monumental time, you know. Like I didn't, wasn't alive during World War II. But I know that so many things were shaped out of the depression and people like I mean, you know what I mean? And as a kid, I was fascinated by WWII history. And so as an adult, I'm fascinated with, you know, everything that happened during the war. But I think at this time we'll have some kind of and a very disposable instant culture we live in. This will have long-lasting repercussions. So it'll remain to be seen how you know, it'll you know…

Alisha: It's interesting. A lot of, you know, Lucky’s book came out like he mentions, and there were creative projects that came out of, you know, obviously of the pandemic like that. And then for me, I voiced a puppet cartoon-type thing on PBS during this time. It's called Pandemic Playhouse.

Audra: It was so incredible.

Alisha: Yeay! So we did all that, Like we had to record, you know, in our little home studio. And there were a lot of difficulties, but it was a really great project. And now it's available on all PBS platforms. I play Facty, which is typecasting, I think; who is like obsessed with actual facts and making sure that everybody knows them.

Justin: That felt true for you.

Alisha: Yeah. I was literally like, I don't need to study this character, like that was really fun to do. I love doing voiceover work. And I, you know, we stayed very busy. 

But personally, I was able to pivot back to writing more intentionally. So my writing partner and I make sort low optioned a movie to Four Leaf Productions. It's an untitled wedding movie. It has a title, but I can't say it. So we optioned a movie and we've been through like three drafts to the producers and hopefully we’re done. And then it'll be out.

Audra: Wow. Is it a comedy?

Alisha: It is. It's a rom-com. It's really funny. I mean, it is really funny. I love it. And I've written like another sitcom and have it with another production company and two shows I wrote for Hallmark. So...

Lucky: She's so busy that like I just feel like ashamed if I'm not doing that. 

Audra: But I hear this. It's quite a list. I mean, this is quite an incredible, you know, pandemic list of things you've been working on. It sounds like you've been going back to your comedic roots.

Alisha: Yeah, I think it's like it's been an opportunity, I mean, I went to New York University, Tisch School of the Arts for acting. So I was like, I got to spend time, you know, on the Sydney Opera House and on Broadway and on television. And then when I met Lucky, like this weird thing happened with kids music. And I loved performing. And then that's why I love the television show most, I guess, in the live shows, whereas I kind of work as the producer of things, as we all know, like now that I'm crazy organized. I don't have a songwriting music background except as a singer. 

So, you know, and I've always when I met him, I was touring as a standup comic. And that's how we met. He saw me on stage at the Comedy Store and stalked me. But it worked out. But, you know, and while I was writing, you know, monologue books and acting. But now it's kind of like my writing partner, Meg and I actually met before Lucky and I met. We've been doing comedy together, live, for about 15 years. 

And it kind of, you know, you hope, I always wanted and hoped and prayed for a writing partner that like Meg and I didn't know we didn't know that we were sitting right in front of each other and something happened where an opportunity came up and someone said, does someone have a pitch for a Christmas movie for this star? The celebrity wants to pitch this movie, and here's what the movie's about. And I said, oh, I do. I had nothing. Like, I literally had nothing. That’s how I do all my, I mean, all of them. I was like, yep, I definitely do that. Like, I just, we almost sold a show to this like other network. And it, because I was like, yep, I've got that, calling all the… And so I called Meg in, because Meg is, was, has been writing. She's more. She has more. She has a lot of accolades. She's won a lot of awards. She's written a lot. She was already a screenplay writer. And I called her and said, do you want to write this pitch with me? And we it's going to be presented with all these. And they're pitches like you send the pitches in and then the person picks like, you know, 50, 100 pitches, the one they want to go forward to script. 

And so we worked and we met with the producers in the thing and they picked our pitch. And then from this was like three years, two and a half years ago. And since then, we've like been kind of, I mean, methodically, diligent and unstoppable. I mean, we just keep, we show up, we keep cranking it out. And I'm talking when I say show up during the pandemic with Indiana,not at school. And he was working in other rooms. Indiana was sitting next to me. Our puppy would be on top of me barking and it would be my coffee was sliding off the bed because I didn't have a desk. I was using a desk on my bed, you know like those collapsible...

Audra: Oh, yeah. Like, yeah. Right. Right. A tray.

Alisha: Yeah. He was at the desk, recording the new album and working on his book. And so I had the bed desk. And then it's like my computer stopped working, an external mouse. There's like neighbors upstairs in the apartment in L.A. I mean, it was like the worst working conditions, but it's like eventually you have something, right? Eventually if you show up and go to your practice, whatever…

Audra: Persist.

Alisha: Yeah.

Lucky: Yeah. Alisha definitely puts that ten thousand hours to test.

Alisha: So I'll have something like some movie you'll see when it's like that. In a very short time I've pivoted in a very hard direct— and I'm, like I said, I love classes and workshops. So I also will sign up at night time for classes like actual classes with teachers. And I've been studying again, like it's like my Masters and just like do the homework, a little bit in screenwriting classes and television writing classes, because I'm like, if I'm going to do something, I'm going to do it to my top potential.

Lucky: I think that's the thing. Like classes are super important to both of us. So we'll take lessons. I mean, I still take guitar lessons.

Audra: Lifelong learning, it sounds like. 

Lucky: Yeah, I was thinking like. Yeah, Harvard courses. 

Alisha: Yeah, we take Harvard online. 

Justin: Lots of like biochemistry. Yeah. Yeah. Ok, so...

Audra: That's important to me too, though. I just have to say lifelong learning and being around people who haven't thrown in the towel on learning, you know, like that's sort of like a baseline thing of just, you know, I don't know, being with people or generating friendships. Like if somebody is like, yeah, no, I just do what I do now and I don't learn any more than.

Lucky: Yeah, that's definitely will test the relationship. I think that like learning and just like, you know, there's a, I read an article once about how people stop. Many people stop listening to new music when they're like 50 or something like that or even younger. And I was like, wow, what a lost opportunity that is, you know, because it's like, oh, what are you listening to these days? And I mean, like, there's so much good, great, amazing content out there. I mean, there's no time.

Alisha: You know, I was thinking about that in terms of our home decoration. Like I love our home, the home we're in right now. It's very, we've every, there’s art, from all of our travels, I love our furniture every piece. But, you know, I don't want it to be a time capsule. I like, I think about this life learning because I was thinking about this yesterday. I don't want it to be a time capsule of this time of when we thought everything was ok. Like my mom every three months gets a totally new hairstyle and every six months gets a new chair, like a sheet or a new rug or a new throw pillows for every season. 

Lucky: Are we going to get new furniture? 

Alisha: Maybe. But, I'm saying not settling into who you think works for you.

Justin: I have another analogy for this. I just read a review of studies like last year on muscle mass in older people. And so basically everybody thinks like you just get older and your muscles go, and that's part of aging. But actually, this review of all the studies shows that it’s actually because people stop moving and start doing stuff. And that actually, if you take a muscle cell of an 80-year-old and put it under a microscope, the muscle cell looks the same as a 20-year-old. And so it's really about continuing to work out. And in this review, they had pictures of like 80-year-old bodybuilders and they were huge and buff. And so basically the idea is that—don't stop. Listen to new music, get new haircuts.

Audra: And in the brain, too, you know, and that's how he felt about moving to Savannah, too, was it was almost like doing crossword and Sudoku or whatever to keep fresh. It's like moving to a new place. You move out of routine.

Lucky: Really shakes it up. 

Audra: Right? Shakes it up, right. Oh, yeah, for sure. Because then you're like, wait, that favorite cafe is, no, that's not what it is now. Let's find another one. Like, I mean, let's find something else. I think Alisha, I know Alisha is really good at this also because I'm more of a homebody. I guess…

Alisha: I don’t think that's true at all.

Lucky: Alisha's always on the go.

Alisha: You’re an adventure like we're both adventures in unique ways. And I think you're right. Like new experiences are so important, whether, and I think, like as we talked about at the very beginning, it's important to have those internally and externally. You know, whether or what's pushing us, if it's reading new articles and new music or new ways of meditation or new things that are helping us, and also going to have those like new cafes, making new friendships, making…

Audra: Things through our kids. That they're showing us.

Alisha: It all becomes how we can be more whole, I think.

Justin: Ok, I love the fact that I tried to land the plane and then it kind of took off. Ok, so I just want to make sure so listeners can just follow you, find out more, where?

Lucky: Ok, so you can go to LuckyDiazmusic.com. You can go to the luckyband_ on Instagram or Lucky_Diaz at Twitter or I think we have a Facebook too. Lucky Diaz Band.

Alisha: Good job. I'm really bad at these kind of things. I'm mostly on Instagram at AlishaGaddishere and on Facebook. I talk too much and write too long to be on Twitter that successfully.

Lucky: I'm not good at tweeting. I’d be like I'm having a ham sandwich right now.

Alisha: But truly, if you message me on Instagram and it's like a question or thought or, I usually try to message everybody back, I like to, you know, new people.

Lucky: Yeah. Your books are at that Applause Books.

Alisha: Oh, we'll just anywhere books are sold. So you can get our books and our music. And those are all on PBS.

Audra: So that is one of the most beautiful things, is that we are able to participate in the energy you bring to the world, the work that you share with the world, and all of these different ways and with our families, with our kids. It's really cool. Maybe we can do a book reading sometime or something like that. So I'm sort of like…

Alisha: That would be fun.

Justin: All right. So we have three final questions that we ask every single guest. These are just the like, really, really quick, succinct boom. Yeah. Okay. And then you both can choose to answer together or separately. But the first one is if you could put a Post-it note on every parent's refrigerator tomorrow morning, just put it right there. What would that Post-it note say?

Alisha: “I see you. I hear you. You're doing a great job.”

Audra: Thank you. Thank you.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky, do you have anything to add to that?

Lucky: I mean, how can you add to that? 

Justin: All right. So the next one. Do either of you have a quote that you can recall that you've read or heard recently that's really moved you or changed the way you think or feel?

Alisha: I have one. I was surprised it was, it's by Harriet Tubman. But if you think about when you hear the quote that this is what Harriet Tubman was thinking, it's really amazing. She said, “Every great dream starts with a dreamer.” I mean, if Harriet Tubman was dreaming and doing at the same time, imagine what we can all do.

Justin: Beautiful. Lucky. Do you have one?

Lucky: I have a quote, but I feel I'm going to misquote part of it. It's an Eddie Van Halen quote. “You got to care so much that it looks like you don't give a shit.” I think it was something like that. So…

Alisha: That's our life motto. In our house. No, it really is.

Lucky: Give a shit like you don't give it. That's what it was. Something like that. You have to look it out. But it's, I'm paraphrasing,

Audra: It just means like unabashedly, like openly. Like you don't give a shit about repercussions or whatever the fear-based things that people throw your way. Like if you say this and this will happen.

Lucky: It's like if you got to care enough that you don't care. Yeah, that's really what it boils down to.

Audra: You don't care about what people think.

Lucky: Well, I think yeah. And I think he had referred to it as his guitar playing. I think it was like, how do you, so great? He's like, well, I cared so much that I didn't care, you know.

Audra: Oh, that makes sense. Yeah.

Lucky: You know what I mean? Like, it's so effortless when you play. You know, when he played, it was like. But it sounds like that. So, yeah.

Justin: Yeah. I like become so passionate and absorbed. Yeah.

Lucky: Right. Exactly. That you don't care. Yeah.

Justin: Beautiful. 

Ok, so the third and final question is and I like to preface it by saying, you know, as parents, we have these times when we might think, oh, you know, the kids like they’re, the house is a mess or a lot of work or, you know, whatever the case is. And so we just like to end with this question, what do you love about kids? 

Audra: We want to celebrate them. So this is that question.

Alisha: I love… something, I guess, I hope to seek in myself that I hope to reflect to myself, I love how they're just they're unabashed, you know, speaking that I care so much, I don't give a shit. They're unabashed joy and emotive feeling. 

I love when they dance. They aren't judging their bodies and their movement. And when they don’t see who's seeing them and they're doing it for the feeling and the music. And I think there's, you know, the profoundness in childhood, the magic of it, and I hope to prolong it. You know, I love, I want to live in that.

Lucky: I think I was going to say something the same. Like I would say that I love their ability to accept magic as magical. They just do. And children, it's only that adults we get corrupted into seeing. And there's also that famous Picasso quote, you know, “Are we all unseeing by the time we are adults?” Children really see. 

I think their ability to accept magic as magical is magic. When you see your kid at Disneyland and it's or another place and it's like what they see is magic because they accept it. And I think we can do that. You know, I can definitely do that more so daily. Right. Like, you know, wait a second. The fact that we're even existing is magic.

 Alisha: And there is magic.

Lucky: I know it is. I agree. I'm only trying to remind myself, like, you know, doing your laundry or washing your dishes or just going through a process of being like the way I can feel like this water's cold on my hands and I feel the water is and I like this whole experience is like, not to get existential, but it's like it's so much we take for granted magic every day. 

Alisha: I mean, we're on a ball spinning in the world, hurtling through space.

Justin: Right, hurtling through space.

Alisha: That’s not magic?!

Audra: I mean, it's mind-bending. And for kids to not have to be loaded with stories around, I mean, they have stories, but like not the stories, the norm stories around everything. And to be able to approach that all with that wonderment and that, those open eyes and what we can experience through them, like you were saying at the beginning, Lucky, through their optics like that is…

Lucky: There's no rules to anything there, like if you were to take it like, oh, you can grow back like you can grow back a limb, ok, I'm going to grow back. And I'm like, it's like nothing like extreme about it. But their ability to accept things that are supernatural or what we consider supernatural, is just natural. So like, you know, we can all stand to learn from that. I mean, I can.

Justin: Beautiful. Oh, thank you so much for joining us. This is such an amazing conversation. I can't wait to do it again.

Audra: I can't wait as well. I mean, just the joy that comes from being with you, the incredible energy, this magic. But then I just really want to thank you for your openness and your vulnerability and the fact that you are really willing to connect with us today. We haven't talked in a while. 

We've stayed in touch, but haven't had the chance to have a conversation like this. And that you opened up to us and also to our audience of parents really, really means so much to us. I feel like it's going to resonate with so many people. That's really what so many of us are looking for today, are real conversations, you know, where folks are really getting vulnerable about all of the different things in life. You know, what we're going through as parents and as makers and entrepreneurs and all of these different things, it's really, really important to share.

So thank you.

Alisha: Thank you. Thanks for having us to come on and having this chat. I mean, and, you know, like magic. I told Indiana, our daughter, yesterday that time was like a made-up construct. She was asking about time zones. And I was like, I don’t know, time, like, you know, so. You profoundly affected our hearts. So the time is irrelevant when you, seeing your faces and hearing your voices like it's still you have a, you are meaningful to us. And so we're so grateful to share this with you. So thank you.

Lucky: Yeah, definitely the feeling is mutual. What we all do is so important and touches so many lives.

Alisha: And now you know how crazy we really are.

Audra: Likewise. We're in good company. I think we all are in such and such a beautiful way. That's like the human spirit, right? Like it's just awe-inspiring to me. 

Lucky: It's awesome to see your faces as well.

Justin: Hey, thanks for listening to The Family Thrive podcast. If you like what you heard, please subscribe, tell two friends and head on over to Apple Podcasts or anywhere you listen to podcasts and give us a review. We're so grateful you've chosen to join us on this Family Thrive journey.

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